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She falls apart instead.
Chapter 18
Natalie
When Mason’s arms wrap around me, he holds me tightly to his chest and I sob. I want to push him away. I want to end this with him.
But…I don’t.
I’m so serious about him. I want to be with him; I want to explore this spark between us and how well we seem to fit together even though we don’t know each other much at all.
That’s what scares me so much about him. I’m getting way too attached to him, way too quickly. And if something happens…
“Natalie,” he says, his deep voice rumbling through his chest. I look up at him, the odd sob still racking my chest. His eyes are dark and drowning deep. He looks tenderly at me, his expression gentle. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You don’t know that,” I say in a hoarse voice. “David promised me the same, so many times. He couldn’t help what happened—”
“Shit happens,” Mason interrupted me. “I know that. I hate that you had to go through that. And you’re right; we can’t always control everything. But sometimes, we have to take that risk. So many things can go wrong in life. Living in fear isn’t the answer. You’ll never set your foot out of the door if you keep waiting for something to go wrong. You’ll never be happy.”
“I don’t know if I can do this all over again,” I say and my eyes well with tears all over again. “I don’t know how to pick myself up a second time.”
“You don’t have to.”
I shake my head. I know what he’s trying to say, but it’s taken me this long just to learn how to get out of bed in the morning again, how to take one breath after the other without having to force myself to do it. He has no idea how much it’s taken from me to put myself back together again.
And he’s right; there’s no knowing what will happen in the future. That’s what I’m so terrified of. He’s right; I won’t be happy.
But I won’t be broken, either.
“I’m terrified,” I admit.
Mason puts his finger under my chin and tilts my head up.
“I know. You’ve been through hell. But I’m falling for you, Natalie. And I want to be with you through thick and thin.”
“You barely know me,” I counter. But the warmth that comes with his words fills me and I want to rub myself up against it like a cat.
“I know enough that I want to spend all my time with you, getting to know everything about you. Please don’t push me away. Give this a chance.”
I swallow hard. I spent the whole day in a panic. Fear choked me no matter what I did. Breaking it off with Mason was the only thing that brought me even a sliver of peace. But now that I’m in his arms, the fear isn’t so pressing. The panic subsided, and I feel safe.
I don’t want to let go of him. I don’t want to turn my back and walk out. I neverwantedit. I was going to do it because I was scared. Because it would be safer.
Affection fills his mocha eyes when he looks down at me, and I get lost in them. When he lowers his lips to mine, I close my eyes and get lost in the feel of him pressed up against me, his lips demanding as he slides his tongue into my mouth.
My panic and fear becomes raw need. A void has opened inside me and I want Mason to fill it.
When he grinds his hips against mine, his cock hard, I know he wants me, too.
With our lips locked, Mason walks me backward until my back presses against the cold window. I gasp into his mouth. He swallowed my gasps and moans as he kisses me, devours me. Our kissing turns urgent. I cling to Mason and his hands roam my body, feeling, groping. His hands are rough on my breasts, my ass, and he starts tugging at my button-up shirt.
When half the buttons are undone, my lace bra showing, Mason puts his hand on my hip and pulls me aside so that we’re not against the window anymore, but rather my back is against a wall. I doubt there’s anyone on the beach, but he’s sweet for caring about our privacy. Although, right now, I don’t give a shit where we do it.
I just want him buried inside of me. I want him to fuck away all the fear that threatens to consume me.
I pull up the t-shirt he’s wearing, revealing his perfectly sculpted body. When the shirt falls to the floor, his muscles ripple under his skin and I lightly drag my nails over his shoulders. He growls at the back of his throat, a very primal sound laced with the need for sex.
It echoes my own desire.
