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I understand what she’s saying.
“I just can’t see myself with someone who isn’t interesting and invested and intense the way he is. I can’t see myself going back to watching a movie with some random guy who might just be around to try to get in my pants. When I’m with Blake, I feel like my grand plans for the future aren’t stupid. He likes my work ethic and my passion and he understands me when a lot of people don’t. I can’t see myself being with someone who’s not… him.”
“Then I think it’s pretty simple,” Samantha says. She grabs the packet of crisps and stuff another handful in her mouth before she holds it out to me. I shake my head.
I hope she’s right about Blake. I want to be with him—the more I talk about it, the more I know what I feel for him and that I’m willing to go through whatever it takes to make this happen. Even if it's really hard. Because when I’m with Blake, everything falls into place. When I’m with him, it’s like something clicks into place that felt disjointed before.
When I’m with Blake, I’m home.
All I need is for him to realize how serious this is and to stop running. I can fight his demons with him. I want to do life with him, even if it’s rough sometimes.
I just don’t know if he’ll be able to deal with his past in a way that will allow us to look toward the future. I can fight as hard as I like for him, but if he won’t stand up and do the same, I can’t change that.
I can’t fight this battle alone.
We heard dishes in the kitchen, and I frown. “Is Alex awake?”
“Sounds like it,” Sam says. She studies the colors on her arm.
“Do you think he heard you?”
She shakes her head. “Nah, it will take an earthquake to wake him once he’s out. But you can go ask him.”
I roll my eyes, but my nerves get the better of me and I get up and walk to the kitchen. Alex stands in the kitchen wearing boxers and a t-shirt, his hair a mess.
“You look like you had a rough night,” I say.
Alex stifles a yawn and puts on the coffee machine.
“You have no idea. But it was so worth it. A good story makes the world go round.”
I chuckle. “Did you just wake up?”
“Do I look bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to you?”
I shake my head with a smile.
“Did you just arrive?” he asks.
“No, I’ve been here for a while. Sam and I were talking.”
“Cool. Are you staying for supper? We’ll probably get pizza.”
I nod. “I could do with a slice of pizza.”
He grins and pushes buttons that will spit out a cup of coffee for him. Satisfied that he didn’t hear anything we talked about, I go back to the living room where Sam is at it again, painting herself.
“And?”
“He didn’t even know I was here.”
“Told you,” Sam says with a smile. “Seriously, I don’t know how he’s a reporter with how much he misses sometimes. The world can end around him and he’ll miss it.”
“Unless his boss will put it on the front page,” I quip.
Samantha laughs and nods. “Yeah, exactly like that. I should get his boss to say something about our chores list. Maybe he’ll start paying attention to those instead of leaving me to do the cleaning every weekend.”
“You’re pushing it,” I say with a laugh. “Alex has always been allergic to cleaning.”
