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Chapter 24
Like on a rollercoaster, he soared now, knowing the steeper and more painful the fall could be. He tried but failed to slow this thing down—the racing of his heart, the thoughts of a future, the truths that he had just texted her—because there was one other thing he had to admit to her before he could tell Hope that he had fallen for her. Ugly words would have to be said before he could say the three beautiful words that he had never said, at least not with a full heart.
For now, in the sterile, bland hotel room, Jordan imagined her in her Tweetie sweatshirt, in her house that reflected her in every corner, even in the neat stacks of laundry that awaited on the couch to be taken to the various rooms. He imagined her bringing a glass of water to Naomi, patting her head, then going alone to an empty bedroom and an empty bed, a bed he would be happy to keep warm for her.
Three more weeks. He could be there with her in three weeks and, finally, tell her everything and hope to God that knowing him more wouldn’t cause this hope of his, this Hope of his, to vanish.
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“Will they connect, repel each other, or explode?” he asked with a chuckle, sitting on his hotel bed a week later.
The sound of her laughter at his question pumped a surge of blood to his heart and between his legs.
“They’ll connect. That’s the whole idea of the experiment.” Hope’s half-whisper caused another stir in Jordan’s boxers. She had told him that she had to whisper because her daughters had a hard time falling asleep. “Are you really interested in all this?” she asked.
“Yes. Why is it hard to believe?”
“It’s so … trivial.”
“Not more than what I do here daily. You’d fall asleep if I told you about the sections, and subsections, and sub-subsections I have to go over, and learn, and find holes in, and negotiate day in and day out. All the one-track mind people I have to talk to. Hearing you makes me feel like I’m there. It’s much more interesting. And I love it when you talk chemistry to me.”
She huffed a breathy chuckle.
Fuck.
“Oh, I saw you in a fancy event the other day on the news.”
“What fancy event?” He couldn’t remember going to a fancy event.
“A press conference/fundraiser something.”
“Oh, that. I only attend those things if it involves meetings between the person I’m working for and others concerning the project I’m on.”
He had gone to that event straight from the office, feeling like he stunk inside his suit after long hours of work. He had briefly seen Sharon and Dana Brin there. They had exchanged quick hellos, and he had left as soon as his current advisee had finished a round of short meetings.
“Fancier than our teacher get-togethers,” Hope said with another chuckle.
He suddenly pictured Chris, and Hope in a dress much like the one she had worn the night he had her up against the door in his kitchen.
“I saw you and Congresswoman Rush there. They say TV cameras add ten pounds, but she looked great, even with that big pregnancy bump.”
Jordan dug his nails into his fist. There he was, jealous over nothing, his guilt drilling apprehensions into him that Hope might be jealous, too … over nothing. The need to come clean to her about it burned in his bones, but he couldn’t do this over the phone.
“There were many people there, but I left as soon as we finished a few meetings.”
“Anyway, it must be really late for you, and I’d better go, too. That experiment won’t prepare itself for class tomorrow.”
“Hope, can I take you to a fancy event or restaurant when I’m back?”
She huffed a little chuckle.
“Say yes.”
“Yes,” she said over another chuckle.
Two more weeks, he thought when they hung up. Two more weeks. And his contract was due to end in a few months. He wouldn’t take a new one after that … if all went well.
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