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True to Zane’s word, Danny had emailed singing her praises as well, and Sophie was in the happy position of getting the work and respect she’d craved.
Personally, happiness eluded her. All she really wanted to do when she had a free minute was crawl under her bedcovers and eat ice cream until her brain froze. Maybe then she’d stop thinking about him.
Zane.
“Ready to continue with the Josh Duhamel lovefest?” Honor picked up the remote control and pressed the pause button to restart the film.
“So ready.”
Unfortunately, Josh wasn’t good enough to keep her mind off what’s-his-name, because after five minutes, the back of her head hit the couch and her thoughts drifted back to Zane.
His touch was singed on her brain, and she’d tried a thousand times to connect the horrible, hurtful words he’d said with the sweet, enthusiastic caresses he’d used to love her body.
Picturing the tenderness she’d witnessed in his incredible blue eyes twisted the knife in her heart tenfold. He’d duped her.
Yet she couldn’t get over him. She had the stubborn problem of addiction, her stupid nucleus accumbens—the cluster of nerve cells beneath the cerebral hemispheres—flooded with dopamine. Her brain had no way to withstand the onslaught of pleasure eventhinkingabout Zane still brought on.
Honor laughed at something on the television screen, bringing Sophie back to the present.
Sort of. Zane always lingered in the back of her mind.
“Okay, what’s the deal?” Honor said, twisting to face Sophie. “You are totally zoning out, and who does that when Josh Duhamel is shirtless?”
“Sorry. My mind is elsewhere.”
“Spill.” Honor lifted the remote off the couch and paused the movie. She tucked one leg under her bottom and turned to give Sophie her full attention.
Sophie spilled.
Before leaving White Strand, she’d only told Honor “it was great” when Honor asked about her night with Zane at the closing reception. So this time she shared everything—sans the intimate details, even though Honor wanted them. Sophie vividly remembered the cruel things Zane had said about her to his sister and then reiterated to make it clear.
“The problem is I really liked who I was when I was with him, and if I force myself to forget him, I’ll be erasing that, too.”
“It’s impossible to forget someone who makes a huge impression on you,” Honor said, a faraway look in her eyes like she was talking from experience. “So you have to figure out a way to live with it and use it to your advantage.”
“How do I do that?”
“Everything you did that week was your choice, right?”
Sophie thought about that. Shehadfollowed her wants and gone above and beyond festival duties. And when it came to her and Zane,shehad been the one to say the word. She may have dreamed about Zane sweeping her off her feet and telling her he never wanted to let her go, but life wasn’t a fairy tale and shehadlived out the wanton thoughts in her head.
“Yes,” she said.
“Then look at the week as a badge of honor. You accomplished amazing things. You put on a rockin’ festival that the people of White Strand arestilltalking about. And you had your first fling. You,” Honor said, pointing at her, “don’t lack initiative or guts or influence, and you make others around you happy.Thatis how we should all live.”
A tear slipped out of the corner of Sophie’s eye. She wrapped her arms around Honor in a quick hug. “Thank you.”
“And the sucky things Zane said are his problem, not yours.”
“I agree.” She didn’t want to stay bitter. She’d been resentful for days after leaving California, and bitterness felt horrible.
“Don’t clutter your life with things that bring you down. Focus on the things that lift you up.” Honor smiled. “I read that in a magazine somewhere.”
Sophie picked up her drink off the coffee table, raised her arm, and said, “To decluttering.”
The next morning, she took Honor fishing at a tiny spot on the edge of Lake Sycamore. They stopped on the way to rent rods and reels and buy bait from the tackle shop her dad always took her to when she was younger. Sophie had never done this before on her own, which made the adventure that much more fun.
Or funnier, depending on how you looked at it.
