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“Again, I saw the way you two were last night. You'd be stupid not to sleep with him. You're single. He's single. Why not?
“Because maybe he's just faking it. Maybe I was just a good time to him. I mean, he wasn't really my boyfriend. He was just pretending because he’s nice,” I threw back at her, my voice suddenly an octave higher.
“Oh my god. Vanessa, you're so dumb. That man likes you a lot. What other guy would spend all night at a work party?” When I did respond, she shook her head. “Whatever. I have to get to work.”
All day, everyone that ran into me at work that had seen Grayson and I last night gushed about how cute we were as a couple and how happy I looked. I must have heard a million times how nice he was and how he was so handsome. I got really tired of hearing it. It made me realize that I did like him, and I wanted to date him.
How did I approach it? I had no idea and seemed silly, especially since I ran out the door this morning without a word or even a note.
I ran into Bill and he even commented about my new boyfriend and how happy we looked. Then I caught him staring at me later that day. He could eat his heart out. Mission accomplished. Except now it was more than a mission and I wanted to date Grayson for real. I checked my phone throughout the day for messages from him, but I didn't get any. That only made me think even more that last night was a mistake. Now that the fundraiser was over and we would go about our lives, running into each other at the coffee shop and around the neighborhood.
Over the next week or so, I would see Grayson here and there in the neighborhood. I would see him from afar, hoping he wouldn't see me and ducking behind whatever was nearby. I tried not to draw attention to myself. I felt stupid because nightstands weren't really my thing and I didn’t want him to thin bad of me. I wasn't sure what to say to him at this point. I was hurt and disappointed he hadn't reached out to me first, and the more time passed, the harder it was to try to talk to him. Carla kept insisting I needed to tell him how I felt, but I couldn't do it. After the doctor hurt me, I figured I was better off alone.
I threw myself into my work, working 16 hour days. I focused on taking care of the kids that came into the hospital to keep my mind off of Grayson. It was difficult though, with everybody always asking me how he was doing. After another couple weeks, I could just tell people we had broken up and no one would be the wiser. That was the plan anyway.
8
GRAYSON
Iwas extremely hurt when I woke up and found Vanessa gone. I knew she had to go to work, but I thought she didn't have to leave until later that morning. She was already gone when I woke up at eight. She didn't even leave me a note nor did I hear from her all day. I wanted to kick myself for not being more honest with her the night before, letting her know that I liked her, and she was more than a fling. She was much more to me than a fake girlfriend. I didn’t want to scare her off at the time though, so I didn't admit my feelings for her. Now, I regretted it.
I would see her around the neighborhood once in a while but she always looked like she was avoiding something or someone. It was probably me she was trying to avoid. Once again. I put my trust in a woman that hurt me. I had had so much fun with her that night, especially in bed. I wanted more with her.
My brother asked me how things went and I told him good but that I hadn't seen her talk to her since.
“Did you tell her how you felt?
“Why would I tell her how I felt? I didn't want to scare her away. We'd only been on one date and it was fake.”
“But then you slept together?”
“A gentleman never kisses and tells.”
“Whatever. I'm your brother. I know you slept with her. Why didn't you tell her then how you felt? You didn't have to confess your love for her but you could tell her you wanted to see her again.”
I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. “You’re right, I guess. I figured since we were in bed together she knew how I felt.”
He laughed. “Oh baby brother. You're so naive. You know people have sex they aren’t in love. I don't know her but maybe she just wanted a good time. But maybe you also should have told her how you felt because she can't read your mind.”
“You're right. I know you're right. Now she's avoiding me.”
“Have you even tried to talk to her?”
“Well, no.”
“Oh my god. Why does a man who's been married for ten years and been with the same woman his whole life have to give his baby brother dating advice. You're ridiculous. You know that, right?”
I laughed. “Yeah, that's probably why I'm still single and you're happily married.”
“Yes, probably that, dumbass. I couldn't agree more.”
The next day I decided I would head to the hospital to see if Vanessa was working. I was finally willing to tell her how I felt. If she didn't know, she couldn't do anything, so I was gonna lay all my cards on the table and admit to her that I wanted to be more than friends. I wanted to be more than her fake boyfriend.
I considered bringing flowers, but decided it was overkill. As I took the elevator to the pediatric floor, my stomach was in knots. I was so nervous my hands were sweating. I hadn't felt like this since I'd asked a girl to dance when I was 12. At least if we were in public so if she rejected, she couldn’t make too much of a scene.
The elevator opened and I made my way down the hall. I no sooner made it to the pediatric wing when I saw her. I'd never seen her in her white coat before and she looked sexy in her scrubs. She had her hair up in a messy bun with minimal makeup. It probably didn't matter; she could wear a burlap sack and still look like a fox. She was standing at the corner talking to her ex. He had his hand on the small of her back and was leaning down towards her. He looked pretty friendly and she didn't look to be fighting him off. Maybe I'd read what happened between us totally wrong and now she was back with her ex. Maybe she was just using me to get back together with him. I was about to turn to leave when I heard her voice.
“Grayson, wait up!”
