AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I stop in front of her door, staring at the message board I’ve left countless heart-shaped pastel sticky notes on for months. They’re in my bag out of habit. I don’t have the heart to take them out.
All week I’ve written little things I love about her on them to curb the urge to go to her and tell her in person.
The door opens while my hands are braced against the frame. Tatum halts with a startled squeak, staring up at me with gorgeous wide blue eyes. My fingers clench on the frame to quell the need to pull her into my arms.
“Oh. Hi.”
“Hey.” It comes out gruff.
She licks her lips, gaze flitting over me. “I haven’t seen you around this week. Not since…”
“I know. Sorry, I was—” An idiot. I’m still an idiot. She wants to be friends, but I have no fucking clue how to be around her when all I want is to kiss her, to hold her, to never let her go. “Is my notebook for econ here? I need it.”
“Oh. Right.” Her expression falters, shuttering in a way I don’t like. “Come in.”
I dip my head and take a step, needing to be closer to her coconut and lime scent. She jolts into action, turning her back on me to dig through her drawers. I sigh, stopping in the middle of her room. She’s the only one here.
The notebooks are missing from her desk. My brows furrow. It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask where they are when she makes an adorable noise of triumph that sends warmth flooding through me.
She brings my missing notes. “Can’t study without these.”
“Yeah.” I hate the distance I put between us when it’s been so natural to be around her.
This is how it has to be. In order for her to really see me, I couldn’t keep hanging on to her like a safety net, standing in the way of what she wants. I have to let her go to finally show her the man I am—the one who loves her. She needs time to feel like she’s experiencing her life. Once she’s had her fill, I’ll be ready.
I’ll wait a lifetime for her if that’s what it takes. The only lie I didn’t tell in the hotel was that I’ll always be here for her, however she needs me.
Right now Tatum needs me to be her friend, and as much as I hate that word when it comes to her, I’ll give it my goddamn all.
“Are you heading out for dinner?” My shoulder hitches and I curl my fingers around my notebook to keep the impulse to run them through her hair in check. This is why I stayed away all week. I didn’t anticipate it would be this hard not to touch her. “I don’t know if you have plans with anyone, but we could grab something to eat together?”
“I had a late lunch.” She snags her keys and motions for me to leave, locking up behind us. She glances at me shyly. “I’ll walk you out, though. I do actually have plans.”
The spiral binding of the notebook digs into my palm. Shit. If she has a date and I see the guy, I might deck him. A possessive irritation that I have no right to simmers in my veins all the way to the sidewalk outside of her building.
We’re almost to the junction that splits between the rest of the dorms and the path to the student union when I stop her by grabbing her wrist. “Are you okay? Do you regret it?”
Her brows furrow and she glances around. There aren’t many people out this time of day. “Regret dating you? Of course not.”
I huff, shaking my head. “The real deal. I know you said over the summer you only needed me as your sex tutor because you wanted someone you could trust with your first time.”
She gives me a thin smile. “Honestly, not one of my best ideas.”
I drop her wrist, tucking the notebook in my back pocket before crossing my arms. She reaches out to rub my tense bicep.
“I don’t regret any of it. I’m fine. I meant it wasn’t my best idea because it put you in a tough position with all the sneaking around we had to do.” She stares at me and bites her lip, lowering her voice to a scratchy whisper. “I probably would’ve been better off just learning the spicy ropes myself instead of approaching sex like a subject to study.”
I grunt, rubbing at the burn in my chest. I hate the thought of all her firsts with some random dude. “Look, guys can be idiots when it comes to getting their dick wet, babe.” Her mouth pops open. Fuck, that slipped out by accident. I blow out a harsh sigh. “I just want you to be careful. If you ever feel like you’re not in a safe situation, you call me, understand? It doesn’t matter where you are or what time it is. I’ll always come get you. Cool?”
Tatum closes her mouth, rolling her lips between her teeth. She nods with a little hum of agreement. “Thanks. You’re…you’re really the best, Coop.”
I take a step closer. I can’t help it. Shit, I want to kiss her.
Her breath catches. “I’d better go. I’ll see you later.”
My hands flex around emptiness rather than reaching out for her again. I watch her walk away from me for the second time in the last week.
“What the fuck?”
