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“I don’t want to think about it right now,” she barely whispers. “We should go.”
When we walk back downstairs, we go our separate ways, not to seem obvious.
The parents move inside the house with the younger kids, who grow tired and rest in the den with a movie. My younger cousins join them, and Nash, of course, because he likes to talk throughout the movie to annoy the kids when they annoy him by asking so many questions.
Outside, Will turns on the fire pit when the air starts to cool slightly. Will sits beside Millie, who looks incredibly tired, rubbing her stomach. Ava sits on Austin’s lap, but unlike Millie, she’s not as far along in her pregnancy and has more energy. I take a seat across from Jessa, keeping my distance.
“I don’t know how to thank you guys for today,” Jessa mentions, nursing a wine in her hand, which Will passed to her.
“You move back home?” Ava jokes.
Jessa smiles. “I wish I could.”
“Anything is possible,” Millie says wistfully.
“It doesn’t feel that way at times.”
Ava glances over to me, our eyes trying to speak which, of course, hers never listen to me.
“Is everything okay?” Ava asks softly.
Jessa drinks her wine all in one go, forcing me to bow my head because she’s known to blurt out her true feelings when intoxicated. Will extends the bottle out again, in which Jessa willingly accepts his offer to pour more into her glass.
“No, it isn’t.”
Millie leans over and places her hand on Jessa’s leg. “It’s just us, okay?”
Jessa nods then takes a deep breath. “Benedict isn’t the man I thought he would be.”
My lips remain flat, not wanting to give my opinion on this subject. The very fact I told her to keep this between us is lost on her the more she speaks of her imperfect husband. A husband she chose over me.
“I mean, people change, but also, they can change back,” Ava says, trying to remain impartial and hold back her opinions. “Maybe, he’s going through things?”
“I think I chose not to see it,” Jessa admits in a low voice. “Rose-colored glasses, right?”
“So, does this mean you want to leave him?” Ava asks.
I beg Jessa not to look my way, but she steals a stolen glance in which both Will and Austin notice. Neither of them has questioned me on my rekindled friendship with Jessa, but I suspect the next time we’re alone, it will come up.
“It means I have no idea how.”
Will clears his throat. “Benedict is a man who’s used to getting his way. The chances are, Jessa, he won’t accept your decision without a fight.”
“That’s such an awful thing to say, Will,” Ava argues, crossing her arms much to Austin’s amusement. “Why do men think it’s okay to make women into objects like their feelings mean nothing?”
Austin tries to calm her down. “It’s a pride thing, more than anything.”
“Screw pride, Jessa isn’t happy. He needs to let her go. End of story.”
“It’s not that simple, Ava. Not when a child is involved,” Millie informs her.
“You’re right,” Ava agrees, calming her tone. “I’m sorry, Jessa, whatever you need, we’re here.”
“Whatever you need, Mom and I can help you, legally,” Millie adds.
“Thanks,” Jessa mumbles. “For now, I need to enjoy the rest of the week.”
Jessa’s back-and-forth, let’s talk about, let’s not talk about, escalates my frustration. Here I am, always offering to help her get through this so we can be together, yet all she does is cut our conversations off, making me feel like it will never happen. The truth is, next week, she’ll be back on the plane and sleeping in the same bed with her husband.
