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‘Is this my Ish pearl of wisdom for the day?’ Helen couldn’t help but smile.
‘Well, I was also gonna let ya know your video editing needs a little work …’ Ish grinned as Helen kicked him under the table.
‘Okay, one last serious point and then we can talk shop. Go to any festival you want if it makes you happy, but don’t try to chase one idea of happiness too much, all right?’ So, Ish could be serious.
‘Does this mean you’re not going to use your @Ishtory knowledge to help me think up the perfect costume? Or come with me …?’
Ish smiled at Helen like he knew something she didn’t. ‘This might be one goose chase I’ll leave it down to you to figure out.’
Chapter 25
Helen woke up feeling warm and optimistic, like she’d just stepped out of a deep bath. Ish had walked her home last night. If it had been a date, she would have described him as the perfect gentleman, apart from the part where he suggested they play a game where they had to think of an animal for each letter of the alphabet.
‘I know how this goes. It’s all fun and games at Aardvark and then I’ll get frustrated by the time I get to the letter I …’
‘Impala?’
She gave Ish another poke in his ribs for that. He was such a strange person: so fun and also so deep all at once. Helen also smiled thinking about how long it had been since she’d met a guy friend, as in a guy you could actually really trust.
He’d also given her some ideas for her work: a couple of changes to her videos, some kind of optimisation software, and how she needed way better thumbnails. He hadn’t been critical, he’d been helpful. He seemed to actually think her content was pretty good. Again, a dim memory of Jonathan flicked on, watching her YouTube videos on repeat, pausing whenever Helen said something stupid, or pulled a silly face …
So anyway, she had some ideas of things she could do differently to breathe life back into @HelenBakes and it was nice to have someone showing interest in her work again, like it could actually go somewhere. Ish had even apparently baked her famous cheap skate carrot cake.
They’d also brainstormed a ‘video collab’ where Helen could appear in one of Ish’s videos talking about popular Victorian cakes, to help her get a few new followers. It could be the start of something better. She felt a tiny flicker of belief again that maybe she wasn’t past it.
Helen’s phone pinged: another story posted from Alice.
She tried to hesitate but who was she kidding? She slid open her phone to see a photo of Alice in one of her festival looks: the video kept looping to show her pulling open her kimono to reveal sparkling butterfly wings. Pink streaks had appeared in her hair.
#5days.
If Helen was going to actually do this, she needed to plan fast. She needed festival tickets, festival outfits, witty things to say and someone to go with. She could go by herself? Was there any way that could be cool? Brody seemed to be into all things mindfulness? Maybe she would seem confident going solo?
But then there was the camping, the stormy Cornish weather, the fact there were only three ‘water stations’ (and showers?!) on site. It sounded like a war zone. A noisy, messy, tundra with people who were too cool (or too high) to care about biting winds, loo roll and whether their kebab was cooked through properly.
‘Be realistic Helen, even if you took a full medical kit, fisherman’s galoshes, and enough cereal bars to last three days it will be a disaster going by yourself. You’re going to not sleep, get worried you’re getting hyperthermia and be calling home by the end of the first night,’ her inner critic droned on and on.
But if she was going with anyone – there was only one person left to ask, who didn’t have an office job, a steady boyfriend or any lack of confidence. Elle. But it was so not her scene and Helen didn’t want the confrontation of ‘Babe, really? Come on, let’s go to my friend’s party instead …’
Her hands hovered above her phone before calling Elle. It was that much of an ask, that it seemed to warrant an actual phone conversation. Not a WhatsApp. Not even a WhatsApp voice note …
‘Babe – you’re calling, are you okay?’ Elle sounded more surprised than annoyed.
‘I’m fine, I just wanted to ask you something and thought it was more of a phone call conversation …’
‘This sounds deep, but okay …’
‘You know that festival. The one I think Bro-’
‘I do read our WhatsApp, Helen …’
‘Look, I really want to go, you know Sophie can’t because of …’
‘Yeah, she’s basically married already …’
‘So could you come with me?’
There was a pause on the line. Helen could imagine Elle running her manicured nails through her hair, lying luxuriously on her sofa, staring up at her ceiling.
