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Underneath the writing was a gold embossed image of a phoenix and a dragon interlinked in a heart shape.
Helen waited for a physical reaction, but the knot in her stomach didn’t come, nor did the sickly feeling of being left behind. She actually felt happy; if anyone deserved this happiness it was Sophie, and Frank wasn’t so bad either. She marched into the kitchen to pin the invite onto her fridge with a star-shaped magnet: at this rate of chirpiness, she’d be taking out a subscription to Soul Cycle next.
The journey back from Cornwall hadn’t quite felt the same either. She hadn’t pressed her face up against the cool window pane, shovelling chocolate into her mouth, trying to resist googling Brody.
She’d in fact been tagged in a surprisingly flattering picture of herself on stage with Marty (or @martixxxx as he was known on Insta) and got a lot of nice comments. Only some were about her bobs. She’d even got a like from Jonathan out of the blue, though he stopped following her when they broke up. It was good to know she wasn’t the only one checking in on her ex.
Elle had been absorbed in a long exchange with Rex, the lead singer of Long Foolish Summer, which had made for an excellent distraction, as Helen watched her strategically leaving him left on read:Sorry I thought I’d responded to this!! Sure, I could do next week x
Helen on the other hand, had finally written back to Brody:
Helen:Sorry I thought I’d responded to this!! Sure, I could do this weekend? X
(Elle may have helped her a little bit with that one.)
Brody:How about tomorrow? I can take you for our first Fix 126 coffee date? And you can finally make friends with Bean xx
Helen held the screen up to Elle so she could read. Elle rolled her eyes. ‘Guys are always like that.’
‘Like what?’
‘Our first blah, blah, blah. Meet my dog, blah, blah, blah. Men always get you all excited at the start, like they’re planning to marry you, and trust me babe they just want you tolikethem. It doesn’t mean what it sounds like it means. Just take it with a pinch of salt my love; actions babe, not words. Brody’s still got a long way to go before you should like him.’
Normally Helen would have felt a crumpling feeling as Elle burst her Brody bubble, but something inside her had changed. Rather than feeling annoyed that Elle wasn’t being supportive, she was starting to think that Elle was probably right. She wasn’t going to spend two hours getting ready to meet Brody, she wasn’t going to cry all day if he cancelled, and she was even starting to think that the perfect guy (much like the perfect pair of jeans) probably didn’t exist.
So they were going to meet tomorrow, and the thought of her and Brody’s second (or was it third?) date had neatly swept Ish out of her mind. Elle had been probing her on the journey home about what she was going to do about the whole Ish thing, and Helen was beginning to concede that it was indeed becoming a thing.
She couldn’t neatly pigeon-hole Ish anymore; he wasn’t just some guy she knew, or even a friend, something new had crackled between them yesterday. Not to mention the gooey look her mum had got in her eyes when Helen actually brought home a man … But he wasn’t Brody. He wasn’t smooth (Helen winced at using the word) like Brody. Or suave like Brody. She couldn’t imagine swanning into some party and everyone being impressed that her boyfriend was so cool like Brody. But should that even matter? Why did she, of all people, suddenly want to be cool? She was obviously shallower than she thought.
Something about Ish almost scared her. Well not scared her like brown beanie, or the guy at the festival, but intimidated her. Like if she was going to walk through that door, would that be it?
The idea of being with Ish felt like it spelt the end of something. It wouldn’t just be a kiss at a party: it would be the end of slouching around her apartment, the end of messages on Connex, the end of Jonathan, the end of Brody …
Perhaps Helen didn’t hate being single after all. She folded up the envelope into her hands, and threw it into the bin, wishing she’d kept Brody’s Havaianas after all.
Chapter 38
For the first time in her life Helen was fashionably late, as opposed to anxiously early. For once she hadn’t caught the bus fifteen minutes earlier than necessary, hadn’t spent ages figuring out a perfect outfit (though the yellow maxi dress did look really nice on her), and certainly hadn’t nervous peed two times before Brody arrived.
The weather was warm in London, and Shoreditch glowed with the vibrancy of a city in high summer. People sat on the doorsteps of cafés, arms slung around one another, sipping cider at lunchtime. Hipsters cycled past, with their shirts open, Ray-Bans flashing in the sun. It genuinely looked like no one had a proper job, or because it was twenty-five degrees, not one they were actually going to turn up to do. Completing the festival atmosphere, there was an impossibly long queue for iced lattes at Fix 126 on Curtain Road.
Helen edged down the queue, feeling extremely rude, and apologising more than was strictly necessary; expecting to see Brody up ahead with coffees in hand. But there were no Havaianas, no Bean the dog lapping at a water bowl. She was definitely casually late, this meant Brody was late-late.
The thought that he was also late for their first date drifted like a cloud across her mind. She checked her phone: no message from Brody, and the one from Ish still glared at her from her WhatsApp, unresponded to since last night. Why did she never have the right words to say? She knew she needed to get back to Ish, but she couldn’t right now. Not whilst the date with Brody was occupying so much of her mind. She just wasn’t a juggler. How anyone managed to date two, three, or more people at a time, she didn’t know. It sounded stressful, a bit like …
‘Helen?’ A strong firm hand touched her shoulder, and she felt a shiver trickle down her spine in response.
‘Brody?’ Helen spun around, pleased to feel her maxi dress rustling around her legs like a damsel in a romantic movie.
‘You look amazing!’ Brody stroked a hand through his sandy hair. ‘Sorry I’m late, we had a very exciting board meeting.’ Brody paused for dramatic effect. ‘It looks like I’m going to be able to exit True Materials! Oh and this is your new buddy Bean by the way.’ Brody lifted up Bean, who was flopped over his forearm, like a rag doll.
‘Oh wow, congrats!’ Helen felt herself lunge into a hug that Brody wasn’t quite expecting. For once his body felt more stiff than strong. Helen rebounded back off him like she’d hit a force field. ‘So what exactly does “exiting True Materials” mean?’
‘Well, firstly it means coffee is on me! Secondly, that I may be pretty busy over the next month or two with our lawyers …’
