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“I do think I deserve an apology,” he adds, his gaze on my fingers. “You slammed the door right in my face. You were so angry. Don’t worry, however. I forgive you.”
Tears well up in my eyes, although it’s not from sadness.
I can’t quite decipher the wave of emotions that rushes over me. Fear? Disgust? Maybe even betrayal?
He hadn’t come here out of concern for me, I suspect. He’d been told to. By my father? He’d been so hellbent on fulfilling his task that it hadn’t even crossed his mind to ask for permission to enter my personal space. Fighting back tears, I fake a grin.
“You’re right,” I lie, giving in. “I’m sorry.”
He smiles. “Don’t worry about going back to work just yet. For now, we’ll be operating out of the satellite office on the other side of town. You don’t have to come—”
“No,” I say over him. “It’s fine.”
The truth is, I need to get out of here. I feel trapped, yet I’m unsure where to go. I’m not ready to face Daze yet, yet the last thing I want to do is be alone in my apartment with Colton. He’s lying. They’re all lying.
At this point, the only one who isn’t lying to me anymore is Daze.
After coming to the realization that doing mindless work at Salvation to clear my mind is the best option I have, I smooth my hands over my sweater and nod.
“I’m ready,” I tell him. “I can do whatever is needed. We can go now.”
“Are you sure?” His tone is relentlessly calm, but I bristle at it. After last night, I could be paranoid, but it doesn’t quite sound like him, reaching out to me only from a place of concern. He sounds like my father, always probing. Hunting for a sign of weakness. Disobedience. Sin.
Far away from the horror of the fighting ring, I let myself replay the voice I heard and the image I saw as I was leaving. Had my father’s operative truly been there after all? Had I imagined it? Is Colton here by chance, or to confirm whatever suspicions were aroused by the sight of a woman who looked like me far from where she should be?
Rather than give anything away, I nod. “I’m sure. Let’s go now.”
I raise my cup of coffee and instinctively freeze when the lid touches my lips.
Colton frowns, watching me closely. “Frances?” he questions. “Is something wrong?”
Yes, the voice in the back of my head screams,something is very wrong.Daze’s words keep echoing off my skull.Trust no one. Not them. Not them.
“It’s too hot,” I reply swiftly, setting the cup aside. “Let’s go.”
With that, Colton stands and heads for the door.
And unlike him, I leave my coffee behind.
Colton drives me to the office and the morning unfolds like any other. I don’t see any obvious signs of nefarious activity. Daze and Hale were both wrong.
At least I try to convince myself as much.
As Colton and I set about our daily tasks, nothing horrific pops out of the woodwork. If anything, the next few hours pass uneventfully. We help out in the kitchen and pass out materials to the homeless who gather in the courtyard outside.
It’s relatively monotonous, much like the days before Hale’s death. I’d give anything to return to that time and listen to him, no matter how insane his rants sounded. I’d listen to every word. My support alone might have been enough to prevent any eventual tragedy from unfolding.
“There is something I should tell you,” Colton says mere minutes before our lunch break. “I didn’t want to warn you off. I think it’s good for you to get out today. But…your father is scheduled to stop by.”
I don’t know how to process the emotion washing over me. Alarm? Dread? Relief?
I say nothing, instead grabbing a mop from the back of the kitchen. “I’ll clean up,” I say, forcing a smile.
“I’ll be outside, handing out pamphlets.”
He heads off, and the second he’s out of sight, the composure I’ve held until now breaks. My knees buckle, and the mop alone is what holds me up.
I swipe the same few tiles over and over again, desperate to find the peace of mind cleaning usually gives me. Instead, I’m reminded of being in a small, filthy apartment piled high with beer cans. I can still see Sammy, blissfully engrossed in his favorite cartoon. I can almost feel that inexplicable calm I haven’t felt since I left. It’s not fair that he could make me feel safe there, among squalor and sin.
