AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I run, racing past a corner where giggles emanate. Panting, I leave the house and venture beyond the outskirts of the woods, vanishing beneath the trees.
Sergei Vasilev owns miles of land. I walk until my legs ache and I can’t go a step farther, but I have yet to approach a barrier or land marker. For all of Mischa’s hatred of the Winthorps, what makes his world any different? The secrets are the same, as are the twisted lies. Which man’s story is more accurate. Sergei’s? Or Vanya’s?
Hunched against the trunk of a tree, I can’t decide. My heart warns me to trust one man more than the other. Vanya. But that muscle is a fickle fucking thing. It hurts now when I think of Mischa, but not in the way that it should. I need to hate him. Despise him. Anything but parse over the agony I saw lurking in his expression.
Like I was the one who hurt him despite the man doubting me at every turn.
But so what if he does? It’s growing increasingly apparent that everyone in my life has only ever seen me as a tool, or a burden, or a secret to hide. Never as a living, breathing, bleeding person with a soul of her own.
I should just run. Disappear into the ether and leave the war and its casualties behind. My heart pangs as I think of Eli, but he already has a mother. Yes. I shift to my knees and feel along the tree bark for a branch to help me stand.
I find one, but it breaks off the second I apply pressure and falls onto my shoulder, lashing at my cheek. Laughing, I ignore the slight pain and curl into a ball.
I could fade here instead. Just let the world go on without me.
As if it would be that easy.
I hear them first: footsteps crashing through the undergrowth. Then his voice rings out, more grated than ever.
“Fuck… No, fuck!”
I open my eyes as he staggers toward me and snatches the branch away.
Frantic, he grabs my shoulders. “Can you hear me? Rose? Can you hear me?” He brushes the hair back from my face and sways when he sees me staring back.
“I’m fine,” I admit.
“Thank God.” He stands, helping me to my feet.
“I’m going back if that’s what you’re worried about,” I say, starting in the direction I assume the manor is in. “I don’t require an escort—”
“Fine. So it’s Robert’s.” He grabs me from behind, sliding his hands to my waist. “You can even name it after him. I don’t care.”
The heat in his voice eats away at any anger I feel. All that’s left is just…pain.
“Don’t you ever doubt me like that,” I say hoarsely. “Never.”
“I won’t,” he swears into the skin of my throat. “I won’t… But you don’t leave.”
I blink rapidly and swallow, fighting for air. “I want to trust you, but every time I try… You attack me.”
“Something in me won’t let me believe you, Rose,” he admits. “Even if I want to. I can’t. If I let you in, you’ll hollow me out. You’ll rob me of everything I have left, and I need to fucking fight. Or I’ll be like—”
“Vanya?” I ask.
His arms tighten, giving me his answer. “He told me a story once,” he says gruffly. “When I asked him why he gave up so fucking easily. Why he let me take the reins, even though the only reason anyone followed me and not Sergei was because of him. He became a shadow of who he was, Rose. Maybe for the better, but…he was still broken.”
“What did he say?”
“He told me about a woman he knew.” He sounds distant, as if he’s relaying some sordid fairytale he hasn’t deciphered yet. “A woman who showed him what love was.” He laughs and I doubt it was a cherished lesson. “He said it was like a rose. Beautiful, but painful. The thorns dig deep. They cut through you, but a part of you still won’t let it go.”
“Is that the real reason why you call me Rose?” I ask in a thready whisper. “To mock me?”
“To warn myself,” he replies. “I always fucking knew… You’d cut me into pieces.”
“I want to trust you.” My hand goes to my stomach before I can help it. At the moment, it’s flat, seemingly empty. “I need to trust you. So stop pushing me away every time I try.”
“I will… But I need you to promise me—right fucking now.” He turns me to face him, his eyes like midnight. “You won’t ever use this against me.” He gestures to my belly. “That you won’t ever turn against me.”
