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The closer she comes, the more of her I can clearly make out as cold recognition robs me of any urgency for a precious few seconds. Bright, familiar curls drape her shoulders. Her pale skin gleams in the darkness, and her huge blue eyes glisten like mirrors, reflecting my own terror back at me.
“Ellen?” Briar whispers. Her hand brushes my shoulder and she jerks it back as if burned. “Is that you?”
I can’t speak, though my throat isn’t the cause. In a relatively short amount of time, I’ve gone through so many wild emotions when it comes to my sister. Nearly twenty-four years of devotion have been reduced to a grim uncertainty.
Did I ever really know her?
Did she ever even love me?
All this time, I thought I was Marnie’s dirty little secret she hid in shame. Now, I know the truth—she loved me enough to risk her life for me, countless times.
And she loved Briar enough to gamble her freedom.
And ultimately forfeit it.
“I don’t know what’s happening,” my sister whispers, demanding my attention. “I don’t…” She breaks off, her mouth flat. “I know you hate me. I… You don’t understand what it’s like. The wedding, and Father, and—none of this was supposed to happen!” Her voice shakes. “When Robert volunteered to lead the wedding procession to the airport, I knew.” She laughs bitterly, shaking her head. “I knew there was a reason. But I didn’t… I just thought if he were planning something, he’d get a big fucking shock if I outsmarted him for once. I didn’t think you’d be hurt.” She runs her fingers along her uninjured cheek. “Or maybe I did. Maybe I knew something bad would happen and I wanted you gone.”
Hearing her admit as much out loud stings—far worse than I could have anticipated. Old wounds sear over my psyche: that constant fear of being unwanted. Of never fitting in.
Of being a burden.
Despite everything, I risk irritating the sore flesh of my throat to ask, “Why?”
She shrugs. “I spent my entire goddamn life being compared to you. Perfect Ellen. Sweet Ellen. Servants. Friends. Robert…even Mother loved you more. Maybe I wanted to know what it would finally be like if you were gone and I was just Briar without the more appealing shadow.”
She sounds so young. So…desperate. Any hatred or resentment I may have felt disintegrates. Now? I only feel pity.
“Ellen, please say something!”
In silence, I reach for her hand, curling my fingers around her thin, trembling ones. Then I lean my head against the wall, close my eyes, and try to gather my strength.
Because this war isn’t over yet.
It hasn’t even started.
