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I can’t seem to focus on anything but my growling stomach, so I get up and pace the room, my feet shuffling across the worn-out wooden floor. I eventually find myself standing in front of the small closet where I found the flannel shirts and the boots. The door creaks when I open it, and my eyes instantly dart over to where Alex is sleeping.
Don’t wake the bear.
Alex isn’t the bear. I am. If he wakes up, all we’re going to do is argue and I’m tired of arguing. I’m sure he is too. After the way things were before the avalanche, I’m the last person he wants to be stuck with.
I push aside the clothes, revealing the shotgun and next to it is a duffle bag that I somehow missed when I opened the closet the first time. I reach in and pull it out. It’s covered in dust, and like everything else in this hellhole, it smells of mustiness and what I can only describe as a creepy attic. It all smells old. Old food. Old clothes. Old cabin. Old blankets. All of it is old when all I’ve ever known is new.
I fall to the floor in a heap, pulling the zipper open on the duffle bag and in it are things I never thought I’d be so happy to find.
There’s a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste. I don’t even care that this has been in someone else’s mouth. Along with it, there are two more pairs of boxer shorts, jeans and a t-shirt. It’s like someone packed an overnight bag, but I guess they didn’t know the person who would find it would be doing more than a one-day sleepover. As I pull the clothes out, I find a stick of deodorant and my laugh turns into tears once again.
I never thought I’d be so fucking happy to find a stick of men’s deodorant and a toothbrush. I crawl across the floor, climbing onto the mattress where Alex is sleeping, I curl up next to him. The warmth of his body heat radiates off him and when I inhale, I can smell the comforting scent of pine and snow. And instead of staying mad at him, I turn into him, pressing my cheek against his chest, hoping this can pass as an unspoken apology.
“I know you’re hungry. I can hear your stomach growling.” Alex chuckles a little. “You’re hangry.”
5
ALEX
Imust fall back to sleep because when I next open my eyes, it’s dark, the only light in the cabin coming from the fire in the stove. Delaney is asleep beside me, her hands curled under her cheek as she lies on her side facing me.
Careful, so as not to wake her, I lean over and throw some more wood on the fire, but the loud crack and pop of the wood heating up is enough to have her eyes opening.
“Hey,” I say, lying back down so I’m facing her. “You done being pissed off at me yet?”
She smirks, slapping me lightly on the chest. “Pretty sure I apologized for that.”
I raise a brow. “Did you, ’cause that’s not how I remember it?”
“Ha ha,” she says, rolling her eyes at me. She’s smiling though and I can tell she’s no longer mad. “But for the record, yes, I am sorry,” she says, eyes meeting mine. “Sorry I lost my shit and sorry I got mad at you. I know this isn’t your fault and that I…”
“Laney,” I whisper.
She blinks, licking her lips. “Yeah?”
“I’m scared too, you know.”
She blinks again, quicker this time as her gaze drops to my chest. “You are?” she whispers. “You don’t act like it.”
Tipping her face up to mine again, I offer her a small smile. “Well, I’m trying to be all brave and shit,” I say with a soft laugh. “You know, be someone who’s like, I don’t know, strong and knows what he’s doing. Someone you can count on.”
Delaney lets out a breath as she whispers, “You don’t have to be brave for me.”
Chuckling, I fall onto my back, tucking my hands behind my head. “Sure I do.”
“Alex,” she says, propping herself up on her elbow beside me. “You don’t. I’m sorry about earlier. I know that wasn’t fair to you. I’m going to be tougher. I’m going to do better.”
I turn to her. “Just be you, Laney,” I whisper, longing for both of us to be able to go back to the way we once were. “That’s all I need you to be.”
“You too,” she whispers back.
Smiling, I pull a hand from behind me, wrapping it around her as I pull her back down so her head is resting on my shoulder and my arm is wrapped around her. “We’re going to be alright, Laney,” I whisper, as though me saying the words out loud can somehow make them true. “We’ve got shelter, water and heat. We’ve got enough food to last us for a bit and if we need to, I can…” I trail off, wondering if it’s even possible to find food out here. I mean I have some vague ideas, but on this side of the country, maybe it’s different. I mean, what kind of plants grow in conditions like this? What kind of animals are even out there?
“You can what?”
I squeeze her shoulder, swallowing hard as I say, “Well, I can go find us some more food. I can look for plants and we’ve got the gun, right?”
She lifts her head to look at me. “You ever fire a gun before?”
