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It fucking breaks my heart that she doubts this, because to me, it’s the first and only good thing that’s happened to me since my life went to shit when my mom died. I don’t want to lose it or lose her, and I know that I will do anything and everything I can to hang on to her.
I’m not scared of getting attached to Delaney Hayes anymore, because I’m already so far gone with getting attached to her, it’s not even funny. But I am scared of losing her and I know I will do everything I can to stop that from happening.
“Laney,” I say, tipping her chin up so she’s looking at me.
“Yeah?”
I smile, brushing my thumb across her bottom lip. “I’m fucking crazy about you. Like, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. And I…” Now it’s me trailing off, knowing the words I want to say, but still not being brave enough to admit them out loud.
It’s one thing to know that I’ve fallen head over fucking heels in love with her, but it’s another to say the words out loud.
“I’m crazy about you too, Alex,” she whispers. “But that was never part of our problem.”
Her hand moves to my cheek, and I lean into her touch. “Yeah, I know, you never could resist me, could you?”
She smiles, shaking her head a little. “This here is like this perfect little bubble, where we are both away from the real world and all the problems we both have out there. Our families, our jobs, other girls—”
“Laney,” I say, cutting her off. “You know I haven’t been with another girl since I got to Tahoe, don’t you?” She shakes her head, sadness in her eyes. “I haven’t,” I repeat, my words firm. “And yeah, I know I was a dick the night of your birthday with your friend, but I promise you, that’s not me anymore, okay? I only want to be with you.”
She nods and I lean in and kiss her again, desperately wanting to prove to her that I mean what I’m saying. She deepens the kiss, almost as though she’s trying to prove something too, and when we both eventually pull back, we’re breathless and I’m hard.
“Now, how aboutmyChristmas present?” I tease, sliding her hand down my stomach to my dick.
Laney laughs, squeezing me quickly before she rolls away to grab it. When she turns back, she’s holding up the bourbon bottle, only it’s filled with clear liquid and pine needles.
“Pine needle tea?” I ask, looking at her.
“Pine needle vodka,” she says proudly, a big smile on her face.
I burst out laughing, taking the bottle from her hand. “Fucking sweet,” I say, sitting up. “And you know what this means?”
“We get drunk?”
“We get drunk,” I confirm with a nod. “But first, go put on that other present. ’Cause while I’m getting drunk, I’m gonna enjoy eating it off you.”
20
DELANEY
“Ihave something else,” I tell Alex, a small smile on my lips as I walk over to the Christmas tree wedged in the corner. I pull on a flannel, wrapping it around me as I begin to button it up, not bothering with pants.
“Another present?” he asks, winking at me as I hold the panties made of edible leaves, sort of wondering if I can even get them over my hips. They really are a very creative gift given we have limited resources.
“Yes, but it’s nothing super exciting. I made it for us, I guess. It’s on the tree.” I point to the spot where I put it and Alex gets up, pulling on some sweatpants before he walks over to take a look.
I’m nervous and I have no idea why. The pine needle infused vodka was more of a joke gift, but this is a little more serious. It’s something I started working on when we first got here as a way to pass the time. I had no idea it would come in handy or that we would be stuck here celebrating Christmas.
Again, we try our best to keep track of days, but I’m certain we’re not completely accurate. We’re at least off by a day or two, possibly more. Either way, we know that it’s the week of Christmas.
Everyone we know is probably celebrating with their families, enjoying the warmth of a heated house and food that wasn’t cooked over an old stove, the kind of food Alex and I only dream about now. It’s not two year old rice or a can of mixed vegetables. As much as I want to feel sorry for myself and Alex, and complain about missing out on glazed ham and my mom’s cheese potatoes though, it really could be worse. At least we have food.
It brings my thoughts back to wondering if my parents are okay. Are they sick with worry? Have they gone about their life as if I’m not missing? There’s no way they aren’t doing everything they can to make sure I’m found. I have to believe Alex’s dad feels the same way. By now I’m sure he’s in Tahoe, searching for Alex, worrying and fearing the worst. I want to scream out into the vast emptiness that we aren’t dead, that we’re right here, waiting. Waiting for someone to rescue us.
“Where is it?” Alex asks, the sound of his voice pulling me out of my own head. He’s scanning the tree with a massive smile on his face and my heart can’t help but beat a little harder.
“It’s right here,” I say, reaching into the middle of the tree and pulling out what I’ve made. I put it in the palm of my hand and hold it out for Alex to see.
“You made this?” he asks, his voice going up in surprise. “Delaney, it’s…” He stalls out, his eyes moving from my hand to my face and without realizing it, a tear slips down my cheek. He’s literally all I have right now, and that realization is hard to handle, especially since it’s Christmas. A time to be with family and the ones you love. Alex is who I love and it’s not just because we’re trapped out here.
