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After a minute or so the song finishes. When I finally bring my eyes to meet Birdie’s once more, I study her for a few seconds. Her pupils are dilated from the alcohol and her skin looks sticky from the humid air, but she’s beautiful all the same.
I breathe in. “Why did you play that for me?”
Birdie scoots her chair closer, surprising me. She puts one hand on my knee and the other one under my chin, tilting my face up to look at her.
“You…” she says, her voice hoarse. “You’re so sweet, Liam. And I… God, I’m so sorry for the way I acted back then. I should have seen that you were struggling. I was so blinded by how much I liked you. And—”
This time I reach up and grab her face in my hands. “No Birdie. There is no way you could have known. I was—or I should say, I am—ashamed of my father’s illness. He… it hasn’t been an easy road for him. And back then, it was so new, and I was only sixteen. I didn’t know how to handle it. And you were such a good friend. Looking back, you would have handled the information like a champ. I should have just been honest but—I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve you.”
Birdie lets out a strangled noise and shakes her head back and forth. “You did though, Liam. You did deserve it. You were the sweetest boy, you…” She looks down for a moment and I watch as her cheeks turn a light shade of pink. I’m still holding her face, so I gently urge her to look at me again. When she does, I see a deep pain there that stabs at my heart.
She takes a shallow breath. “Do you even know how much your friendship and attention meant to me? I was the fat girl who boys never gave a second look at! You made me feel visible, even if it was only for a short time. Liam...” she leans her forehead against mine. “You helped me find my voice.”
We’re so close now I can feel her hot breath on my cheek. I lick my lips, staring into her eyes so she knows I mean what I’m about to say.
“No. I may have helped, but you found your voice all on your own.”
She lets out a breathy laugh as her gaze flicks to my lips and then back to my eyes. “Thank you for telling me the truth.”
“I should have told you a long time ago.”
She smirks. “Yes. You should have.”
I laugh a little at that. “So sassy.”
Birdie brings her hands to rest over mine. Her gaze penetrates me as if she can see my soul. This moment feels surreal. It’s more than the moment at the spa, it feels like it’s the start of something completely new. I know I still have a ton of baggage to work through, but whatever’s happening with Birdie, it makes me feel a whole lot of things I never thought I could feel again. At this moment I’m teenage Liam again sitting with the girl he’s head over heels with. A little shock runs through my system…
“Birdie—” But my words come up short.
“Don’t. Whatever you’re thinking. Just don’t say it.”
I run my nose over hers and our lips brush gently. She smells like vanilla hand soap and IPA.
I nudge her nose with mine. “What if I was going to ask if I could kiss you?”
“Then I’d say, ask away.”
I brush my nose along her jaw then then press a kiss just behind her ear. When I bring my lips to the curved shell I whisper, “Can I kiss you,Ms. Wilder?”
A shiver courses through her and she pulls away just slightly so we’re nose to nose again. Then she says the words I never thought I’d hear.
“Yes, Liam. You may kiss me.”
twenty
Birdie
I’mdreaming.No,I’mdead. No, it’s real. Holy. Shit. Liam Miller is really kissing me.
He tastes better than I could have ever imagined. He’s like rich dark chocolate and fire on a cold winter night. I want to be consumed by him every hour of every day for the rest of my life.
Liam’s hands tangle in my hair as best they can with it up in a bun and he pulls me closer. When his tongue strokes mine, I groan as he explores deeper. Damn he’s passionate. Just like his work, he gives everything he has. I place my hands on his shoulders and lean awkwardly from my chair to try to get even closer. Before I can shift positions, Liam’s pulling me up. His kiss only breaks for a second as he pushes me against the sliding glass door.
Our eyes meet, I’m swallowed up in chocolate brown, so deep they’re almost black. He grins at me devilishly. I squeeze my thighs together, which he notices. His gaze travels from my bare feet, up my thick thighs, to my short shorts and finally my breasts. He pauses for a moment and stares at my hardened nipples. Right before I’m able to grab him myself, he crushes me to his lips again.
I sigh into his mouth as his strong hands grasp my bottom and he pushes my hips into his groin. He’s hard, more than hard, and I have to stop myself from dry humping him. That would be embarrassing. But my body is living its dream right now. Real Liam is much better than the shower wall I pretended was him when I was sixteen.
His strong grip on my ass brings me back to the present time where the real thing is kissing and groping me. At that I kiss him harder, then run my hands up from his muscular chest and into his feathered hair. It’s silky and soft between my fingers; I want to feel it on my thighs as he licks me to his heart's content.
