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Liam holds out his hand, which I gladly take. I’m not mad he didn’t tell me about this accident, just sad that Wren or Ben never said anything. Yet, I always told them to leave me out of anything concerning Liam, so I really had no one to blame but myself.
Once we’re outside, we start to walk on a small trail that leads to a gazebo with a small table. The property itself has picnic tables littered everywhere, which I imagine Hammer uses for events.
After we reach the safety of the shade, Liam waits for me to take a seat before taking his place beside me. He looks out at the cornfield then, the knee-high stalks swaying in the breeze. Pain is marred on his face, and I feel bad that our day off has turned into this. I know it’s not my fault Hammer said something, but I wish I could ease Liam’s suffering.
“We don’t have to talk about this now, Liam.”
He shakes his head. “I wanted to tell you sooner. I should have told you sooner.”
“It’s okay,” I reiterate.
He clenches his jaw and swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing as he does. “I told you about my partner, Maria.” I nod. “She was an amazing woman. We were partners for two years and I had a stupid crush on her.” Liam darts his eyes to me as if I’ll be jealous he’s talking about having feelings for another person.
“It’s okay, Liam. You’re fine,” I reassure him, placing my hand on his thigh.
He clears his throat, as if that can take the emotion away. “Even though we were both attracted to each other, and we flirted, we never acted on it. As we’ve discussed, I didn’t do relationships, and definitely not with my work partner. We had a good flow, but I wouldn’t allow myself more. But one day, I decided to hell with it, and asked her out while we were on patrol. I should’ve known it would lead to something bad, I just didn’t know it would be that soon.”
He looks down at his hands, then out to the cornfield again. “We got called to a burglary in progress. It should have been standard, she shouldn’t have—but we were ambushed and there were more perps than expected. A car drove up; she was shot and killed instantly. I didn’t even have time to react. I was distracted by my feelings for her, and I made a rookie mistake. She lost her life because of it, because of me. I tried to save her, but they took advantage and shot me too.”
I let out a small gasp, my heart wrenching. I know that Liam is safe and healthy, he’s sitting right in front of me. But the image of him being shot; of him suffering in that way... he must have been so terrified.
He lets out a shaky exhale. “Unlike Maria, I got out with my life. But my shoulder was wrecked. It took a long time for me to heal, and it still bothers me if I work it too hard. But I want it to hurt sometimes. The pain makes me remember.”
Tears burn my eyes. “Liam, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
His chocolate brown eyes flicker to mine. The midafternoon sun makes his tanned skin glow, and his cheeks are flushed with emotion. The dark green T-shirt he’s wearing is tight across his chest, and his jaw is twitching, as if he’s trying to stop himself from breaking down.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” His voice comes out quiet and pained.
“Selfishly I wish I was there back then. I’m sorry I wasn’t,” I say gently.
He shakes his head, taking his hand from my thigh then lacing our fingers together. “As my therapist always tells me, we can’t live in the past. I’ll admit I’m still learning how to do it, but it's true. Our paths are this way for a reason, and Birdie…” he brings his free hand to rub his thumb over the apple of my cheek, “I’m glad they crossed again. You make me feel alive. For the first time in a long time, I have something, someone, to look forward to every morning.”
A tear tracks down my cheek. Liam has such a way with words, and he doesn’t even know it. I could write a million songs simply about him, but I could also write a million songs with his words.
“Don’t cry, baby.” He wipes the tears from my cheeks with both of his thumbs.
I almost laugh at the fact he’s comforting me. I should be the one comforting him. “I’m happy you’re here, Liam. Not just with me but—” my voice chokes, the thought is too painful to imagine.
Liam presses our foreheads together. “I’m happy I’m here too, Birdie girl. You have no idea.” The way he says it makes me want to cry more. But when his lips press to mine, I melt into him. It’s a sweet kiss, but there’s a lot more said in this kiss than our usual passionate ones.
When he pulls back, he cups my cheek again, kissing all over my face in gentle caresses. “Thank you for listening.”
My heart thumps. “Thank you for telling me.” I hold his hands in mine, and we both look out at the corn swaying in the breeze.
“It’s peaceful here,” I say after a while.
“It is. I came out here for a couple months after I was released from the hospital. I was in a bad way and didn’t want to impose on Ben all the time. Hammer and his wife Bria offered me a bed and some quiet. I took them up on it.”
“Did it help?”
Liam shrugs. “A little. Honestly, I just needed time. I pulled myself out of it eventually when I started seeing a therapist. I hadn’t wanted to at first, but the NYPD required it. It was a good thing though. I’m glad I did it.”
“And you’re sure you’re okay now?”
Liam squeezes my hand. “Sometimes I still have nightmares, and my shoulder will ache as I mentioned. But for the most part I’m okay.”
“Good. But you’d tell me if you weren’t?”
