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Theo’s expression softened. “Is this about Honor? Why is it that all roads lead back to her? You were kids when you got engaged. It was a lifetime ago. You need to let go of it already. Put it in your rearview mirror.”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried? I’ve spent six years trying to move past all the painful things that happened in this town. It wasn’t easy rebuilding my life, but I did it. For some reason, I still can’t move past Honor. And I know it’s crazy and pointless, because she can’t deal with the fact that we’re selling the ranch. She’ll hate me for it.” He bowed his head down. “I wish I’d come clean with her all those years ago about the fire. Things might be very different today if I had.”
Theo gazed at him with sad eyes. “I’m so sorry you’re in pain, Joshua. You deserve happiness more than anyone I’ve ever known.”
Joshua shrugged. Hadn’t he been a happy man before his return to Love? Maybe he should have just stayed put in Seattle and skipped all of the drama.
All of a sudden he felt defeated. Crushed. His conscience was eating at him. Honor’s words kept replaying in his mind, over and over again. They nagged at him relentlessly.
For what shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul? If he moved forward and sold the Diamond R Ranch, Joshua feared he would regret it for the rest of his life.
Chapter Thirteen
Honor wasn’t sure how she made it back to the wildlife center in one piece. She had sobbed the entire drive from the Diamond R Ranch. It broke her heart to know that the Diamond R was going to be desecrated. The more she cried, the more she realized that she wasn’t simply upset over the injunction being lifted. Joshua was leaving Love. In all likelihood, she would never see him again. The sale of the Diamond R would permanently sever all of his ties to Love. And, by extension, to her.
It was now hitting her all at once. She hadn’t just been fighting the sale of the Diamond R. Honor had been unwilling to let go of Joshua. She had been fighting it tooth and nail.
What a fool she’d been to actually believe he might change his mind about the Diamond R. Her feelings for him had made an idiot of her once again. Joshua was going to sell the ranch for a large sum, then leave town so he could continue his life in Seattle. Just like the last time, Honor would be left behind to lick her wounds.
She shook her head, trying to make sense of the events of the past few weeks. Her prayers regarding the Diamond R Ranch had been all for naught. Everything was slipping through her fingers. She had failed Bud. Joshua would be leaving town again. And it hurt even more than the first time.
Lord, please help me. Give me the strength to deal with the pain of losing Joshua all over again. Grant me the grace to let go of him, once and for all.
The sound of someone knocking heavily on her door brought her out of her thoughts. She hoped Joshua hadn’t followed her back to the wildlife center. There really wasn’t anything else left to say. Everything was pretty cut-and-dried. As a result, she felt incredibly empty.
Honor moved toward her front door and wrenched it open. For a moment she thought it was Joshua standing at her doorstep. She quickly realized it was Theo. Although the resemblance between the brothers was startling, Honor had always seen a lot more kindness on Joshua’s face.
Seeing Theo standing on her doorstep was surprising. He had never been a member of the Honor Prescott fan club. Most of the time he’d looked straight through her like glass.
“I just need a few minutes if you can spare it,” Theo said, his expression intense.
“This isn’t a good time,” she told him.
What could Theo possibly have to say to her? Hadn’t he already crowed about the injunction being lifted? Had he come over to rub her nose in it?
“I really need to speak to you, Honor. This is very important.”
Honor sighed, exasperated. “All right, Theo, but please make it quick.” She ushered him inside toward the living room.
“Take a seat,” she said, waving him toward the sofa.
“I’d rather stand if it’s all right with you. I won’t be staying long,” Theo said. He took a deep breath. “My brother is a good man. One of his best qualities is his loyalty. If he makes a vow to do something he’ll uphold it, even when doing so causes him to lose everything.”
She shrugged. “Why are you telling me this?”
He clenched his jaw. “It was all my fault.”
Honor frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“The church fire. I started it by playing around with a lighter and a hymnal. I was young and selfish. I was heading back to the army and I knew my service would be negatively impacted if word got out that I started a fire that demolished a church.”
She let out a strangled sound. “So Joshua was innocent?”
Theo nodded. His expression was somber. “Joshua was with me, but he had nothing to do with the blaze that burned out of control. It all happened so quickly I was powerless to stop it. I was immature and reckless. Joshua stepped up and volunteered to take the blame once he was identified as the culprit. He could have pointed the finger at me, but he claimed responsibility for the fire. I know it sounds crazy, but he came up with the idea on his own.” Theo ran a hand over his face. “As the older brother I should have protected him by telling him it was out of the question. It was my job to watch out for him. But I felt desperate.”
“So you let him take the blame?” Honor asked. Although she still felt a little bit dazed by the news, it was slowly starting to sink in. Joshua had been innocent of the charges! And Theo had benefited immensely from Joshua’s sacrifice.
Theo bowed his head. “I did. Because of the close resemblance between us, Zachariah Cummings mistook me for Joshua. It wasn’t unusual for people to get us confused. So when Zachariah i
