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nitially reported it to law enforcement, it was Joshua’s name he put out there. Everything just spiraled out of control after that. Even though I wanted to take responsibility...I didn’t. I left town to return to the army.” Theo winced. “Joshua was left holding the bag.”
She felt an all-encompassing rage take hold of her. “How could you? You were the older brother. You should have protected him.”
“I know, Honor. And even though it’s six years too late, that’s why I’m here. It’s what I’m trying to do now. I reckon your future with Joshua was a casualty of that lie. Joshua would never rat me out by telling you what really happened, but I needed to right that wrong.”
“I respect your telling me the truth, but the past is behind us. I’m through with allowing it to have such a strong hold over me. What we had was a youthful romance.”
“Are you saying you don’t have any feelings for Joshua?” Theo pressed.
Honor raised a hand to massage her forehead. She had a raging headache. Everything was weighing heavily on her. “Does it matter? Too many things are standing between us. Not just the past, but the present as well.”
Theo rocked back on his booted feet. “But don’t you see, Honor? If he hadn’t taken the blame for my actions, the two of you might still be together.”
Honor could hear the agony in Theo’s voice. He must have been carrying this guilt around with him for years. Although she and Theo had never been on the same page about anything, Honor’s heart went out to him. It was impossible for Theo to go back in time and change the decisions he’d made in the past. Now he just had to find a way to live with it.
“I appreciate your coming here, Theo, but it doesn’t change anything. You’re still selling the ranch. Joshua still plans to head back to Seattle with Violet. There’s nothing I can do to change those things.” She wouldn’t even know how to go about doing so.
Theo threw his hands up in the air. “Joshua is a great man and an even better brother. He stepped up and claimed Violet as his daughter even though they don’t share a single strand of DNA. He’s grown into the type of man people look up to and admire. You fought us over the future of the Diamond R. Why are you so willing to roll over and play dead when it comes to fighting for my brother?”
Honor’s jaw dropped. Theo was being mighty presumptuous to assume she held romantic feelings for Joshua. Her heart was beating fast. Her palms were sweaty.
She yearned to give him a piece of her mind, but she was done fighting. Honor was all worn-out. At this point in her life she wanted to move forward. She wanted tranquility. Being with Joshua wouldn’t give her that. They would always be fighting over Bud’s property or the actions of the developers. She would always wonder about the child they’d lost. Some wounds couldn’t heal. It was too messy.
“I think it’s time I left,” Theo said. “Just some food for thought.”
Theo nodded at her and strode toward the door. He hesitated a moment at the threshold, then turned to face her. “Pride is a powerful thing, but so is love.”
Before she knew it, Theo had made his way toward his vehicle. She sucked in a deep breath. His parting words left her reeling. Was she being prideful? In her opinion it was a matter of being realistic. A person could only surmount so many obstacles. She could only withstand so much pain.
Honor now knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was in love with Joshua. Always had been. Always would be. Finding out the truth about the fire had driven home the point she had always known. Joshua was a good man.
Despite the way he had always been regarded here in town, Joshua had evolved into a wonderful man. He had raised Violet as his own and protected Theo by taking responsibility for the terrible mistake his brother had made. And she would have to love him from a distance, because Joshua would soon be nothing more than a memory.
All she knew at this moment was the ache of her heart shattering into tiny little pieces.
* * *
Joshua’s thoughts were full of Honor. Every time he’d looked at Violet this afternoon he couldn’t help but think of the child Honor had lost. Their child. She had been forced to deal with the heartbreaking situation on her own, with no one to turn to for comfort. The very thought of it made him sick to his stomach. He should have been there to help the woman he loved through the loss of their baby. His mind kept whirling with thoughts of what might have been. What if he hadn’t taken the fall for Theo? Would they have stayed together? Or would it all have fallen apart anyway?
It was all so crushing. He should have been there to help Honor shoulder her grief. Joshua should have held her in his arms and mourned alongside her. His faith told him God was in control, but for some reason, that knowledge didn’t soothe him. It didn’t make it any less agonizing.
He had come out to the stables to spend some time with the horses and to clear his head. He’d almost considered riding Blaze, but his heart wasn’t in it at the moment. As he stood in Blaze’s stall brushing her coat, Joshua prayed for closure. How could he go back to his life in Seattle with so many issues pressing on his heart?
Lord, I’m really hurting right now. And so is Honor. I never imagined coming back to Love would be such an emotional experience. I thought I could come back to Love, handle my grandfather’s affairs and go back to Seattle without skipping a beat. But there are so many things weighing on me right now. If I’m doing the right thing by selling the Diamond R, why do I feel so bad about it?
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” He hadn’t even heard Theo’s footsteps, but here his brother stood a few feet away from him. Theo’s brow was furrowed with concern as he gazed at Joshua. “You look like you’re in agony.”
Joshua looked at Theo through a haze of pain. He didn’t even bother to deny it. “That’s a good word for it.” He let out a tremendous shudder. His shoulders heaved with the effort. “When we arrived here in town everything seemed so crystal clear. But, in a matter of weeks, it’s clouded over. I don’t know what’s right anymore. And I’m afraid if we sell the Diamond R, I won’t know who I am any longer.”
“You don’t want to sell the ranch, do you?” Theo asked. “You didn’t give me a straight answer earlier.”
Joshua had spent a lifetime trying not to disappoint his older brother. He had always been the classic younger brother looking for Theo’s approval. After all these years, he was still yearning for it. He bowed his head. “I don’t, Theo. Honestly, I’ve struggled with the notion ever since the offer was made to us. I can honestly say I don’t think it’s the right thing to do. It’s not in keeping with our grandfather’s ideals.”
Theo didn’t say anything for a few moments. Joshua looked up and met his brother’s gaze. As usual, they could easily communicate without a word being spoken. Theo let out a sigh. “All right then, we won’t sell. I can’t see myself living back here in Love and running the ranch, but from the looks of it, this lifestyle fits you like a glove.”
Joshua couldn’t believe his ears. “Theo! Are you serious? You were so determined to sell the ranch. What’s changed?”
“Seeing you so torn up about everything has forced me to take a good look at myself. The Diamond R is Bud’s legacy. It wouldn’t work for me to stay here and run it, but I could easily picture you doing it. After all the sacrifices you’ve made for me, Joshua, it’s the least I could do for you and Violet. Money isn’t everything.”
