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What was Cassidy doing out here? He’d asked her if she wanted to catch a movie tonight, but she’d declined, saying she had plans with her family. With free time on his hands he’d done a shift at the Sheriff’s Office instead. Why would all the girls be out here at the stables at nine o’clock at night? He slipped in through the side door, the sound of raised voices emanating from the front of the building.
He could see them all from where he was standing in the shadows. Cassidy. Holly. Regina. And Jenna. The four roses. They seemed to be arguing, he realized. Jenna was flailing her arms and Regina was teary eyed. Cassidy had her arms folded around her chest. Holly seemed agitated.
I was playing chicken with the car the night of the crash. Cassidy’s words rang out in the stables. Everything else faded away. He felt blood rushing to his head.
An avalanche of emotion rained down on him. His chest tightened and pain rocketed through him with the force of a sledgehammer. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this fired up. It felt as if he was on the verge of exploding. He would never have believed it for a second, but he’d heard it with his own ears. Cassidy had outright admitted it. Playing a dangerous game of chicken had caused the accident that had shattered Holly’s world. And my world, as well, he thought angrily. Cassidy had made decisions the night of the crash that had altered the course of
his life. Had he meant so little to her that she’d been willing to toss their future aside for a reckless game?
My sister is in a wheelchair because of some stupid, ridiculous stunt?
He stumbled out of the stables without making a sound. His heart felt as if it were breaking in two. It was actual physical pain that gripped him. He hadn’t felt this way since the day he’d found out Cassidy had left town. Betrayal. The sting of it seared his insides.
The rain flowed over him and he did nothing to shield himself. They were cleansing rains that he prayed would soothe his raging soul. There were so many conflicting emotions swirling around inside him. After everything they’d been through, how could she have kept this from him? What kind of person played games with other peoples lives? He walked toward his truck, wanting to get as far away from this place as possible.
How could she have lied to him? What a fool he’d been to think that she had changed one iota from the person she’d been eight years ago. Feeling the need to vent some frustration, he kicked the tire on his truck. It did absolutely nothing to ease his agony. What he really wanted to do was scream at the top of his lungs, to have a very noisy conversation with God about the path he’d been walking on. For the past few weeks he’d been more and more certain that the path was leading toward a future with Cassidy. But now, after what he’d just overheard, he couldn’t imagine holding her in his arms without thinking about all the lies and evasions.
How could he have been such a fool twice in one lifetime?
With a groan he turned around and walked back in the direction of the stables. He paced back and forth in the rain as memories washed over him. Seeing Cassidy at the diner on her first day back in town. Hanging out with her at Horseshoe Bend Ranch during the storm. Dancing with her at the community gathering.
Could he really have been so wrong about Cassidy?
Every time he turned around to get in his truck and leave, he found himself rooted to the spot. Why was it so hard to walk away from her? Why did the thought of it hurt so badly?
Are you trying to tell me something, Lord? ’Cause if you are, I’m struggling to get the message.
There was no way he could build a life with someone who harbored secrets. It was that simple. Trust was the very foundation of a relationship, yet Cassidy had shattered his faith in her not once, but twice. There were only so many times a person could turn the other cheek.
For a moment everything got real still and he began to pray. Lord, I love this woman. Regardless of what happened in the past, she is my future. She’s my other half, Lord. The other piece of my soul.
How in the world could he even think of walking away from that?
She’d changed him. Inspired him. She made him want to be a better man, one who didn’t struggle with forgiveness but granted it. They’d held hands and prayed together. She’d helped Holly achieve a measure of peace. Together they’d brought Picasso into the world. No one could ever make him laugh the way Cassidy did. And even though she’d been given a hard time since she’d come back to West Falls, she’d stayed.
Suddenly, like a balloon deflating, he felt all the anger leave him.
Forgiveness. He’d reached a state of grace where he could honestly say that he’d forgiven Cassidy for all the pain and heartache she’d caused in the past. How could he turn his back on that? How could he lose her a second time? It would be like losing a limb. He needed her. And he didn’t want to live without her. He’d done that before and it had nearly killed him.
No matter what she’d done in the past, he couldn’t turn his back on her. It just wasn’t possible.
Soaked to the bone, he walked back inside the stables. This time he wasn’t hiding in the shadows.
* * *
Cassidy winced as the pain seared through her in wave after wave. All she could think about was Tate. When she told him the truth about the accident he wouldn’t want anything more to do with her. By withholding the truth, she’d lied to him. It was so clear to her now. She wondered why she hadn’t always seen it so clearly.
Lord, please give me the grace to be honest with Tate, regardless of the consequences. And whatever he decides, please give me the strength to get through this.
The debate among the girls was still raging on, but part of her had mentally checked out. She’d already reached a decision about telling Tate the truth. Nothing was going to change that, not even the dread coursing through her veins.
“We were all responsible. All four of us,” Holly declared. “But Cassidy took the blame for everything. All the hatred, the responsibility, the law enforcement interrogation.”
“Holly, what are you saying?” Jenna’s voice was shrill. “Are you letting her off the hook?”
“That’s not what she’s saying!” Regina shouted, her voice filled with frustration.
“We all did it! That’s what I’m saying. We all played that stupid game,” Holly said in a firm voice. “We called it chicken, didn’t we? We’d each take turns getting behind the wheel and we’d drive well past the speed limit and act crazy.”
