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HAYLEY
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AS MUCH AS Sawyer, Monroe, and Knox wanted to keep me hidden in their hotel room, they thought it best to get out. Staying there would mean we were trapped when Alexander decides to show his evil face again. It would also be easier to just take them out. The last thing I want is them getting hurt on my behalf.
I don’t have to see Opal or any of the security to know she monitors us. It feels as if everyone watches our every movement, trying to listen in on our conversations.
“Walcott is in the lobby,” Monroe says to Sawyer, keeping his face expressionless.
“Go meet him,” Sawyer says, strolling up behind me to look over my shoulder as I slide the hangers along my wardrobe, trying to figure out what to wear that isn’t an over-sized man’s shirt. It’ll draw too much attention, and could cause more problems for me if the regulars think I’m open for this kind of thing. “Knox, you should go too. I’ll bring Hayley down in a minute. I want to talk to her.”
I swallow and tip my head back, staring at the bottom of his chin as he keeps his eyes trained away. I think I have an idea what he wants to talk about, but I’m nervous. I have no idea what the fuck is going to happen. I want to leave with them so badly. I would give anything to step outside this hotel again. The safety I felt at the Bella was incomparable, and it makes me sick to my stomach that I may never feel that way again.
“You got it, man,” Knox says, waving a silver dagger.
The two of them disappear together, leaving us alone in my suite. Sawyer fidgets behind me, glancing at his com device for what I think could be the thousandth time since I asked them to bring me here to change, and it makes him nervous. Again, he probably feels trapped.
I finally decide to wear a shorts-style, one-piece jumper, covered in sequins. It covers everything on me from my thighs to my collar, only showing off my legs and arms.
“Can you help me with the back?” I tug Sawyer’s big shirt over my head and drop it to the floor in front of me.
He intakes a soft breath, the heat of his gaze devouring me in the mirror hanging on the closet wall in front of me. Goosebumps prickle over my skin at the sensation of his body hardening against mine from behind. He gulps and nods, struggling between keeping my eye contact in the mirror and looking down as I stand completely naked.
I bend down and accidentally—okay, not accidentally—bump my ass against him as I step into my one-piece costume. He grunts at the sensation and reaches to steady me with his big hand on my hip. He feels enormous against me, his hard-on pitching a tent in his pants that he doesn’t even try to hide.
“So, you were a virgin,” he says, his voice remaining even.
I tense and slowly rise to my feet and lift my hideously uneven hair, some of the strands only three inches in length now. “Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? You heard everything between Alexander and me, didn’t you?” I try not to frown, replaying the horrible punishment in my mind. Even though Sawyer helped ease the pain with my permission, it still gets to me like Alexander permanently branded my very soul so forgetting would be impossible.
Sawyer clears his throat and shakes his head, quickly and effortlessly busying himself by fastening my snaps in place. “No, but I just—I’m sorry. It’s none of my business. Forget I asked.”
I spin around and smile at his sudden nerves. I’m glad he brought it up, because it helps distract me from all of the other bullshit going on. “No, I’m not forgetting. I think you have earned the right to know the truth. You’re risking a lot by staying here.”
His lips disappear into a thin line, and he studies me, trying to tell if I’m serious or not.
“I mean, unless you really don’t want to know.” I grab his hand and slide my fingers through his. “You can just tell me what you had planned to say.”
“It doesn’t matter to me. I was just surprised.” He puffs a breath of air through his lips. “That sounds bad. I don’t know how to explain it without sounding like a dick.”
I don’t know if it’s the fact that we’re alone or that he saved me from one of the worst moments of my life, but I feel closer to him and want him to stop being afraid of asking me questions. It probably helps that he’s been in my head. Opal once told me that some vampires who excel in mind manipulation can even feel a donor’s emotions. I’m certain Sawyer is one of them. “You don’t sound like a dick. You sound nervous and curious.”
He licks his lips and holds my gaze. “I can’t help wanting to know everything about you yet I also don’t want to push you.”
“Sometimes I need to be pushed. I’m...it’s hard to remember that I can speak my mind with you. I like it.” I trace my fingers up his chest, memorizing his solid pec. “And so you know, I was a virgin in a sense that I’ve never had sex with another person before Knox. I’m experienced in other things, though. I know what I’m doing when it comes to pleasing someone.”
“Does Knox know?” he asks, flicking his gaze past me.
I shrug. “I didn’t tell him because it wasn’t important. I don’t really have expectations in regards to anything. I was just glad that...” I let my words trail off. Bringing up Alexander and how he used to treat me isn’t what I want to think about. I knew I’d eventually have sex, and I’m glad I got to pick who I wanted to experience it with. It was exciting and amazing knowing it was completely a decision I had a choice in. I lift and drop my shoulders again, offering him a smile.
Bending forward, Sawyer surprises me with a sensual kiss, taking his time to gather his thoughts while distracting himself with my mouth. I stretch on my tiptoes, balancing by holding his shoulders. Like an explosion booms between us, I let Sawyer lift me up and kiss me harder. I hook my legs around him, kissing him deeper, gliding my tongue over his. He groans and cups me by my ass, keeping me flush against him. I love his need for a distraction, and I hadn’t realized how badly I needed one too.
I break from his lips and kiss my way to his jaw, sucking and licking his skin, enjoying the sweetness that reminds me how incredible it felt sucking the blood from his arm as he healed me. Drinking vampire blood isn’t exactly my thing. I do so to keep my body free from scars and also to help myself when I’m injured. And right now, it’s really fucking strange that I’m thinking about doing it again without having the need.
“You’re so hot,” Sawyer murmurs, clicking his fangs in my ear. “So intoxicating. I love being close to you.”
He’s as turned on as I am, though I’m certain his could be triggered by more than just my closeness. He’s probably hungry, and I know that a vampire can be triggered from blood hunger to blood lust, and I’m teasing a dangerous line thinking about offering my throat to him.
But I want to. I want to just use him to forget everything and to push away my thoughts about my life before he and the Bella Crew came rushing in with weapons blazing. I want to remember that tiny moment of what freedom felt like when I was at the Bella. I want something to savor and to hold onto as we’re forced to face the shitshow of a reality I’m not so sure I can truly survive.
