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What we’ve done here tonight is going to change everything.
"Did I hurt you?" he asks softly.
"Only a little," I say. “But I liked it. Next time, you can tie me up. I want to know how it feels to have you inside me when I can’t move.”
His half-smile falters as his gaze drifts to someplace beyond me.
“Sir?” I whisper. He visibly winces at my accidental slip of the tongue.
“No, Grace. I’m not going to do that.”
“Why not?”
He slips out of me so he can lay on his side. "Because we’re going to keep our sex life and our kink play separate."
“But we’ve already broken your no-sex rule.”
“That we have,” he says with a sigh. “Technically, what we just had was vanilla sex.”
“Oh...” The things we did to each other didn’t feel vanilla to me, but I was a virgin less than an hour ago, so what do I know?
“Hey.” He rests his hand on my hip. “I'm still your Dom, and you're still my little one. That hasn't changed. But there will be new ground rules about when and where and how we can be sexual.”
More rules to follow; more rules to ignore. My insides are a tangle of joy and confusion. I'm elated that he's changed his mind about us not having sex, but I wish I understood why he's so adamant about not mixing sex with kink. He clearly wants me, so why won't he let himself have me when I'm wearing his cuffs?
"Can you at least tell me why?" I ask.
He starts to shake his head, then stops. The pain in his gaze hits me square in the chest. He wants to tell me; I’m sure of it.
“When I was first getting into the lifestyle,” he says, “I made a mistake with a submissive. One I deeply regret.”
“What kind of mistake?”
“The kind that destroys people. I would rather die than let something like that happen to you.”
The seriousness in his tone is a drop of rain trailing down my back. I shiver.
“Someone got hurt?” I ask.
After a long stretch of silence, he nods. His face shutters.
My guardian has secrets that weigh on him terribly. I wish he'd let me share the burden.
