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“Yes.”
“Because we’re Carter and Nathan.”
Nathan smiles. “Yes.”
Carter opens and closes his mouth twice before breaking eye contact with Nathan, his gaze focusing on Nathan’s chest instead. His eyelashes are wet with unshed tears. “How fucked up am I if I let you?”
“Does it matter?” Nathan asks quietly, praying it doesn’t. “Because it doesn’t matter to me.”
“I shouldn’t want to be with you.”
“Probably not, no.”
“But I-” Carter pauses. He licks his lips before peeking up at Nathan. The poor boy looks so afraid and confused. “I reallyreallywant you to kiss me…”
The confession hangs in the small pocket of air between them. Nathan isn’t sure if it’s consent. He wants Carter to give him explicit permission. He’s just terrified the boy will withdraw if he pushes further for it.
Then he gets an idea.
A terrible, terrible,terriblefucking idea.
“Why don’t you kiss me instead, Carter?”
Carter’s eyebrows pull in. “What?”
Rolling off him, Nathan lays on his back and throws one arm up to rest on the pillow above his head. He reaches for Carter with the other hand, stopping just before they make skin-on-skin contact. He needs Carter to close the distance.
In a soft voice, Nathan promises, “I won’t touch you tonight. We can just sleep, and you won’t be in trouble. There will be no punishment. I won’t be upset. We’ll wake up in the morning and go back to being master and slave. Or…”
“Or?” Carter asks, his voice cracking.
“Or, you can kiss me, and touch me, and do whatever you want to me tonight. You can use your power to consent, and I can show you what I’d do with you if you were mine as just Nathan, not as the boss of this place. Not as your brother’s enemy.”
Carter nibbles on his bottom lip, looking unsure.
“We’ve done it before,” Nathan whispers. He shouldn’t be pushing Carter, he knows that, but… Nathan needs him. It’s selfish and wrong, but after what happened at that party, Nathanneedshim. “We had a good day together, on your day off.”
“And it was over when we woke up.”
“Yes.”
“And that’s how it will be again tomorrow?”
Nathan sighs. “Yes, Carter. I’m sorry. It’s - this is all I can offer. It’s more than I should offer at all, if I’m being honest, but you’re very talented at making me break my own rules.”
“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.”
“I wish I could give you more,” Nathan admits. “I’d give you the fucking world if I could, Carter. But even this could get us both killed.”
“It’s okay. Really.” Carter lifts a hand, placing it on Nathan’s cheek. It feels unbelievably good. Nathan presses his hand over the boy’s, wanting to keep it there as long as he can. “This is enough, Nathan. Whatever you can give me is enough.”
Nathan turns his face into the palm of Carter’s hand, hiding the shit-eating grin he can’t keep at bay. He presses a kiss there. Then another. And another. When Carter giggles, he lifts his head to look at him, deciding it’s worth showing his joy if he can see Carter’s too. The boy’s eyes light up when their gazes meet.
“I think I’m going to kiss you, Nathan,” Carter declares.
Nathan licks his lips, already feeling a little breathless. “Do your worst, Carter.”
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