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“Promise?” the boy asks, his voice wobbly.
“I swear. You’re the only one I want.”
“Oh.” Carter sniffs. It takes everything in Nathan not to wrap his arms around him and hold him as close as possible. “I’m just a hole, though. And he – he knows more stuff. It’s not like I’m special, not really, and – and I cry a lot. And I’m lucky for you and – and you’re – and they’re all so much better than me. And you’re gentle, and you don’t even make me bleed, and they’d be so good for you… better than me. I – I just – I can’t even – he knew what to get you to drink and – and I just – I want to be good for you, but I’m not cut out for this. I’m weak, and – and I just – I – I’m not good enough for you, and –”
“Shhh.” Nathan brings his hand from the boy’s wrist to cup his cheek, pressing his thumb against his lips to silence him. His chest is tight. “Sweetheart-”
Before he can continue, Carter shakes his hand loose and blurts, “Please don’t punish 7, Master!Please. He was just helping me make the drink, and I – I had no fucking idea what I was doing and I didn’t want to get hurt anymore because that’s – that’s all that – thatmandid was hurt me and I know that it’s okay that he did that because you said it’s okay and I belong to you, but I was just – I was trying to be good for you sir, and 7 – he was just helping me.”
“Okay. Okay, sweetheart. I won’t hurt him. Calm down now, okay? Calm down for me.” Nathan shifts closer, once again placing his hand on Carter’s cheek. He uses his thumb to soothingly stroke his cheekbone. He decides to test his luck as he realizes that maybe Carter’s sudden change in behavior tonight has to do with more than just Todd. “Can you tell me what those slaves said to you tonight? At the drink cart?”
Carter locks up, letting Nathan know he’s going to lie before he even speaks. “Nothing, Master.”
Master.
“Stop. Fucking stop with that shit.” Nathan sits up in the bed, raking his fingers through his hair. “Fuck. Since when do you fucking call me Master?”
The boy fidgets. Then, softly, “The others use Master.”
“I don’t want the others,” Nathan says in exasperation. “I wantyou.”
“Butwhy?Just put me in the basement with the rest of them. Take 3. He likes you, and he’d be better at all this. He’d make you happy. It’s not like Maison would know the difference. It’s not like it’s any worse for him even if he did know the difference. Hell, making me a communal slave would probably be worse in his mind. And then you'd be happier...”
“Christ.” Nathan rolls over, pinning Carter down on the mattress. He swallows the boy’s gasp with a searing kiss, one that he lets linger for much longer than usual, until the biting and the tongue fucking softens into somethingmorebetween them. Something that makes Carter whimper beneath him, the boy’s hands coming up to grip Nathan’s shoulders, pulling him close instead of pushing him away. Nathan is panting by the time he breaks the kiss, resting his forehead against Carter’s as he tries to catch his breath. “Fuck. Don’t you see what you do to me, sweetheart? I only wantyou. You’re the only one to ever make me feel like this. Remember?”
“Yes, sir,” the boys says breathlessly.
Nathan deflates in relief at being called sir again. “Good.”
"Did you... enjoy tonight, sir?"
"No." Nathan releases a shaky breath that probably gives far too much away. "I fucking hated every second of it."
Carter is crying when he speaks again. Nathan can hear it in his voice. He hates that he can already recognize the slight shift in tone. "Me too, sir. It - it wasawful.”
“I know. I know, sweetheart.” Nathan rolls to lie on his back and pulls him in close, sighing in relief when Carter relaxes against him. “Get some rest. Please.”
The boy doesn't speak, but he presses harder against Nathan, his body going slack after only a few minutes.
“I’m sorry,” Nathan whispers once Carter is asleep in his arms. A single tear falls down his cheek. He can’t remember the last time he cried. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
