AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Well, I mean, Iknowthat. But is something wrongright now?”
Nathan turns then, his gaze impossibly intense as it lands on Carter. He stares at him for a few seconds before his eyes close. Nathan exhales shakily. "Fuck, you don't know, do you? You have no idea."
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Carter.” Nathan opens his eyes, huffing again. This time it sounds defeated. There's something lingering in his eyes. Something awful.Terror, maybe? Or despair?"I have to punish you."
Carter goes still, his heart in his throat. “W-why?”
“You’re asking me why? Seriously?" Nathan gives him a look that makes Carter feel very small and very, very stupid. "Carter, you just threw a fucking tantrum. They heard you. There's no way at leastsomeonedidn't hear you. And you fuckinghitme. My lip is split. I can feel the bruise already on my cheek. They'll know it was you who did that."
“I – I didn’t mean to! I was just panicked! I was upset about Casey and - and you - and then - then I realized what I was doing and I hated myself and then I hated you for making me feel all these - these - thesethingsand I - I didn't mean to!" Carter doesn't realize he's started to cry again until the last word comes out as a sob.
Nathan’s face is twisted with all sorts of emotions. "It doesn't matter, Carter. They don't give a fuck why you did it."
“Just – just tell them you punished me! When they ask, just lie!”
“And you were magically silent?”
“You gagged me.”
“And where are the marks on you?”
“They – they’re – I-” Carter can’t breathe.
Oh god, he can’t fucking breathe.
“Please. Please, Nathan, don’t. Not again. I can’t – please, no more.”
Carter doesn't realize he's violently shaking until his legs give out. He falls to the floor, Nathan's face twisting in anguish like the sight causes him physical pain.
“Please,” Carter begs, his eyes filling with tears. “Please don’t.”
“How can you - don't fucking -" Nathan's eyes narrow. They're nearly black. When he speaks, his voice is terrifyingly low and quiet. It makes every word hurt worse, somehow. "How dare you put me in that spot? How dare you put this onme? You're the one who fucked up. You fucking asked for it. Youknewwhat would happen, Carter. You knew nothing could change when it comes to public interactions."
“We were in your office,” Carter says hopelessly. A final effort before giving into his fate.
“You’re smarter than that. Come on." Nathan huffs an angry laugh. "This isn't a fucking discussion, Carter.Fuck. I fought so hard to tell you the truth. From the very beginning I fought for it, but maybe they were right. This is too much for you to handle. Too much forus."
Something like rage or nausea starts to burn inside Carter. “I can handle it.”
“Can you?”
“Yes.” Carter lifts his chin defiantly, fully aware that this is 100% false confidence, and also not caring. He can do this. Hecan. He’s done it before.
How different can it really be?
“Then what do you want me to do to you?”
Carter feels gut-punched. “You’re makingmedecide?”
“Not so fun, is it?”
Carter has to look away, partly because he can't even look at Nathan right now. Mostly because he fucking hates that the man has a point.
Time stretches. Every second that ticks by feels like a countdown to a bomb - and the bomb is only going to get worse the longer it ticks. They have to go. Just sitting here is dangerous. They've probably been reckless enough for one day. But he can't get himself to move or speak or do…anything.
“I’m sorry." Carter is startled enough by the apology to snap his gaze back to Nathan. The man is slumped on the edge of the desk, looking absolutely wrecked, his hair disheveled, his eyes suspiciously red, the top of his shirt slightly torn to reveal the hollow at the base of his long, elegant throat. "I'm about to hurt you again, and I just yelled at you for it. This isn't your fault. That was awful of me to say."
