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“Please stop, sweetheart,” Nathan begs.
“Don’t call me sweetheart!” Carter screams. “Don’t fucking-”
“Okay. Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t do that. But please-”
“I hate you! I fucking hate you! Let me go!”
A hand covers Carter’s mouth, Benny using it to both muffle him and pin Carter’s head against his chest.
“Stop,” Nathan orders. “You have to stop. My men will hear you.”
Carter tries to tell Nathan he doesn’t give a fuck, but the words are pathetic and jumbled. He bucks his body in frustration, swinging his arms.
“Calm down, Carter. You’re going to hurt yourself,” Benny says. Carter brings his arm back to elbow the asshole in the ribs. He grunts, letting go of Carter. On a roll, Carter kicks a leg out and hits Nathan straight in the junk, grinning in satisfaction at the sound the action rips out of the man as he doubles over.
But he underestimated them - probably stupid, considering he now knows their background. Nathan is already recovered before Carter even gets a chance to think of what to do next. This time, he ends up pinned against Nathan's chest as Benny grabs the cell phone and brings it closer to Carter.
“Carter!” he hears Maison bark, the speaker setting still on. “Carter, please. You have to calm down.”
Rage taking a backseat to hurt and exhaustion, Carter gives up. He closes his eyes and lets himself deflate in Nathan's arms. A place he's found comfort in lately. Love, even. At least the sick, twisted version of love that exists in this kind of world.
But it was all just… pretend. A way to placate Carter. Maybe Maison’s idea, even. A way to give Carter some love and affection in this awful situation.
What an idiot.
An absolute idiot.
Fucking pathetic.
He actually thought that Nathan loved him.
He actually… loved Nathan.
Oh god.
Does Maison know that? Does he know Carter fell in love with his rapist? That he’s a weak, pathetic, disgusting piece of shit who fell in love with his fucking tormentor?God, all those times he was terrified of what Maison would think of him. All the times Nathan told him it doesn’t matter.
All the times he had consent and he fucking gave it to Nathan. He even went so far as to beg Nathan to fuck him. To use him.
If Maison knows any of that, what must he think of Carter? Does he even love him anymore?Carter wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t…
“Carter?” someone says. “Hey, Carter.Carter.”
Carter flinches back into focus, rubbing his hand over his eyes to try and clear his vision. He’s on the floor.How did he get on the floor?He can hear himself sobbing, the sound wet and awful. A hand is rubbing soothing circles on his back. Gentle words are being whispered to him. Things likebreatheandyou’re okayandI’m so sorry god, I’m so, so sorry, please, Carter, I’m so fucking sorry.
When Carter finally manages to pull himself together, it’s with one goal in mind –Maison.
The phone is on the floor off to the left, between him and Benny. He grabs it. No one stops him. Pushing shakily to his feet, Carter puts the phone to his chest and stares at the bathroom door. “I’m going in there to talk to my brother. And you aren’t stopping me. Neither of you.”
After a few seconds of silence, Carter takes it as them agreeing and heads into the bathroom. He takes a seat on the closed toilet lid and sucks in a deep breath.
Then he takes the phone off speaker and puts it to his ear. “Hi.”
“Hey, bud…” There’s a long stretch of silence. Carter doesn’t intend on breaking it. When his brother figures that out, he speaks again. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Carter huffs as a new wave of fury rushes over him. “For which part? Getting me kidnapped? Getting me put on a stage naked so I can be raped for a crowd of people cheering? Oh, or how about it being yourfriendwho raped me in front of that crowd? Or your friend raping me every day since then? Or your friend letting other men abuse me every fucking day? Or maybe your friend making me so anxious and exhausted and dehydrated that I needed a fucking doctor to come take care of me? Oh, wait, I know - are you apologizing for telling your friend to pretend to love me? To trick me into falling in love with him? So not only do I now look like a pathetic disgustingwhorewho falls in love with his rapist, but now I get to find out that said rapist doesn’t even love me back like said rapist had been claiming all along. I was just a fucking job to him. Which is just, you know, fuckingfantastic. Icing on the cake, really. So, tell me, Mais. Whatexactlyare you apologizing for right now?”
“All of it. Every fucking second of it. From the moment they got their hands on you. I am so fucking sorry, baby brother. I tried. I tried to get you before you went up for sale. I searched heaven and fucking hell for you. Travis -Nathan- was our only hope. At least with him, I knew there was an end date. At least with him, I knew I was going to get you back.”
