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Don’t do it!A small and futile voice whispered in the back of his mind, but the moment he heard Lady Lockhart’s gasp of breath turn into a small desire-filled whimper, he realised there was no holding back. Her lips continued to call to him. As soon as he realised that she was leaning into him, a thought occurred to Philip;this might be my only chance.
Remembering all their tutoring sessions at her father’s townhouse in Summertown, Philip couldn’t remember their ever having been left alone together for more than a minute at a time. There was always a maid, a butler, or even her stepsister present, but here and now, they were entirely alone.
Unable to bear the thought of passing up such an opportunity, Philip lifted his free hand to her face and cupped her cheeks with both his palms. Her breath escaped her lips once more, brushing gently over his face, and Philip quickly realised that her breath smelled like strawberries.
The scent and taste of strawberries burst all around him. Chest tightening and heart racing, Philip kissed Lady Lockhart with no intention of stopping, and he was relieved when she didn’t instantly pull away. Her hands came up to grip his wrists, and for one frightened moment, he believed she would stop him. When she continued to hold him there, he kissed her more deeply, only stopping when he found he could no longer breathe.
Reluctantly, he pulled away. Seeing the absolute shock that registered upon Lady Lockhart’s face, he released her cheeks and readjusted himself in his seat, clearing his throat. The urge to speak and apologise caused a lump in his throat, and he found he couldn’t even open his mouth.
If he were to apologise, she might believe that he regretted kissing her, and although he did not wish her to believe that he was ungentlemanly, he also couldn’t bring himself to let her believe that he wouldn’t like to do it again.
She stared back at him in silence, her eyes never blinking, and she looked almost as if the shock might never settle inside her. The tension and silence between them grew and grew until Philip could barely take it a moment longer, and he was more than a little relieved when she finally broke her gaze away from his and turned her attention to stare out the window.
Following her gaze, Philip quickly realised that the rain had begun to ease off. By the time they had finished the rest of the journey in utter silence, the rain had entirely stopped, and one glance at the sky above them told Philip that it wasn’t going to start again anytime soon.If only we had waited for it to pass,he thought grimly.Maybe then I wouldn’t have made such a fool of myself!
His cheeks were still burning when he pushed open the carriage door and stepped out before his coachman could have the honour of helping Lady Lockhart down from the coach. Though he was still unable to look her in the eye, Philip lifted his hand to help her down from the carriage and silently guided her to the bottom step of the front porch before announcing, “I escorted you home safely, as promised, My Lady.”
“Yes,” Lady Lockhart responded, though there was an edge to her tone that suggested she didn’t entirely agree with his statement. Did she believe he had injured her in some way by kissing her? He could only hope that she would not regret it as he never would allow himself to, even if his gut was churning now at the mere thought of what he had done.
“When will I see you again?” Lady Lockhart asked then, her voice little more than a breathless whisper, and although Philip could feel her watching him, he couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eye.
“Our next study session is not for a few more days, My Lady,” Philip reminded her, and he bowed low to make his lack of eye contact a little less awkward.
“Then I shall look forward to it,” she told him, and Philip could hear the smile in her tone. Holding out his hand, Philip took hold of hers and kissed her gloved knuckles, feeling numb at the fact he wished it were her lips and not her hand he was kissing.
“As do I, My Lady,” he assured her and quickly straightened up, taking a quick step away from her and towards the carriage before he could do something else that he might later regret.
It was then that he heard the door on the porch above opening, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw a pair of highly polished black boots appear. Even without looking, he knew that it was the Lockhart butler.
He could feel the man staring down on him almost as if he were Lady Lockhart’s father, and he knew that it was best to escape quickly in case the butler had aroused the duke’s interest in why his daughter was arriving home alone with a nobleman after having been left alone in the park.
“Until then, My Lady,” he said, bowing his head again. He heard Lady Lockhart’s sharp intake of breath as if she were preparing to say something, but Philip couldn’t bear the thought of anything she might have to say in front of the butler.
Whatever it was, it would not be anything nearly as intimate as he wished to hear from her lips, so he quickly turned and hurried back into the carriage, slamming the door shut and wrapping his knuckles upon the roof once more to signal to his coachman to continue on home.
What am I doing?The voice in the back of his mind grew louder as the coach pulled away from the duke’s townhouse in Summertown. Deep down, Philip knew he should never have stopped his carriage at the meadows.
He should have continued home and pretended he had never seen Lady Lockhart running for shelter. She would have only been waiting a short while before the rain eased off, and he would never have made a complete fool of himself.I should never have allowed Father to encourage me into tutoring!
That night was perhaps one of the worst of Philip’s life. Though nothing truly terrible occurred, he found it next to impossible to sleep. Even after having spent most of his evening reading and studying in his father’s library, he tossed and turned in his bed.
He could still feel the tingling on his lips where he had kissed Lady Lockhart and where she had kissed him in return. His palms still ached with the desire to touch her again and whenever he allowed himself to think of her for too long …
It was growing almost impossible to stop himself from thinking of her. The problem had been growing worse with every study session he attended at her father’s townhouse, and as he lay there that night, staring at the darkened ceiling, he realised one thing,I can’t go back.
Chapter 12
Lying awake that night, Daisy remembered all too well everything that had happened in the carriage. Her heart had raced, hammering against her ribcage with every second she spent staring into Mr Radcliffe’s brilliant blue eyes. She had been able to feel him watching her, and when he leaned forward to stroke a strand of hair back behind her ear, his hand had been warm and gentle against her cheek.
She still remembered how she had felt seeing how he stared at her lips for several moments before actually kissing her. The look on his face had been one of sheer desire and longing, of a great hunger that could only be satisfied by her mouth.
Never before had she felt the way that she felt when he kissed her, never before had her head spun and her heart stopped beating all at once while her skin tingled from her head to her toes, her entire body begging to be touched in a way she had never even thought to be before.
What is wrong with me?she asked herself as she lay staring up at her bedroom ceiling. The scent of burned-out candle wafted into her nostrils as the dying candle beside her flickered out and plunged her into darkness. She had no idea of how long she had been lying there like that, though she did know that she hadn’t once managed to drop into sleep.
Instead, she had simply lain there, staring at nothing, able to see only Mr Radcliffe’s handsome face whenever she allowed her eyes to close. As soon as she did, she would open them again, not yet ready to feel all the sensations he had caused her to feel, not ready to face whatever feelings she was having towards him.
It can’t possibly be true,she told herself firmly.I am not that kind of woman.Daisy had long since prided herself on having no interest in men, yet Mr Radcliffe had done something to her; she wasn’t sure what, but she knew it had to be something. Never before had she found herself so distracted that she couldn’t even concentrate on a book. The one she had been attempting to read now lay discarded on the bed beside her, closed, and it didn’t even bother her that she had accidentally knocked out her place marker. All she could think of was him, of how much she could not wait to see him again at their next tutoring session while simultaneously dreading the thought of ever seeing him again because she did not wish to feel like the lovelorn, silly young woman she appeared to be turning into.
