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“Sorry. Just trying to get a smile out of you.”
“Oh, you’ve done that all right.” I smile.
“How was it with your family meeting Olive?” He shuffles Ruby to his other hip.
“They seem happy, apart from two of them, but I’m not sure what I can do about that. I’m trying my best.” Even while I’m holding myself together with tape, it doesn’t seem to be working very well.
“I’m sure you are. They’ll come around eventually.”
“I hope so. I still wonder if I should just leave again.”
“Don’t leave things where they are. You never know when or if it’ll be the last moment you have together.”
I turn to face him. Our eyes lock, and that pull toward him tightens as he becomes vulnerable right in front of me. Tears well in his eyes, but he quickly blinks them away and faces forward again just as we arrive at the barn.
Rylee releases my hand and runs for the barn door. Thankfully, she can’t get into the stalls. Without thinking, I reach for Sebastian’s hand and take it in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. No words need to be exchanged—we understand each other at this moment.
“Come on,” Rylee yells from inside the door. Instantly, I release his hand and follow her little voice. “This one is kicking the wall,” she says, pointing to the closed half door on the stall.
“That’s Diamond. She needs to settle in a little bit. Can I pick you up and show you?” I ask.
“Yes, please,” she replies. I hoist her onto my hip, and her breath catches when she spots Diamond dancing around her stall in circles, throwing her head up and down. “She’s so pretty.”
I glance down at Rylee, her eyes wide with excitement as she grips the door with her little hands. “She is, and once she’s trained, she’s going to be even more amazing.”
“Can I see the others?”
I lift her higher on my hip, and we go about checking on the two boys. Rylee isn’t as interested in them as she is in Diamond. Sebastian remains silent, following us around and agreeing with anything his daughter says or asks.
Rylee runs out into the training pen. She can’t run off anywhere unless she climbs through the bars. Sebastian, as if reading my mind, moves to the doorway so he can keep an eye on her. I hang back a moment and soak up this scene. Back when I’d been a girl making out with the farmhand in the barn, I’d imagined this future for Eli and me—a child racing around the pen as we watched on.
“You know, you’re doing an amazing job with your girls. I’ll admit that I’ve missed watching you on the track, but watching you with your girls? I get why you needed time,” I remark as I move closer to him.
Sebastian turns. The shadow of his beard makes him that much more appealing, and his penetrating dark eyes hold mine. I’m sure he’ll have no problem finding another wife when the time is right for him. “Thanks. My mom has been the biggest help. I’m not sure I’d have survived if it wasn’t for her. Raising a newborn isn’t easy, and then throw in a five-year-old, and it’s a party.” He turns back to Rylee, and I come up beside him.
“I totally get it. I’m just going to try to work with Diamond a little. You’re welcome to stay if you want.”
“Thanks. I’ll let her play, and I’ll attempt to keep you company.”
Talking with him is so easy. I shouldn’t feel this comfortable with someone so soon—it’s not even been a day—but it seems we’ve somehow found comfort in each other over our broken pasts. How is it that two damaged souls like us could find each other, both suffering a loss? Maybe people like us gravitate toward each other without realizing it, perhaps to help each other heal.
I go to the cupboard where there’s a heap of my old training gear, plus some new things I’ve not seen before. I take a blanket and grip it. Turning back to Sebastian, I find him watching me. His eyes drop, and then I see it—the scar from my transplant peeking out of the top of my shirt. I readjust, and it falls back into place, covering the scar. My heart hammers in my chest, the nerves are taking hold.Please don’t ask.
“What happened there?” He points to his own chest.
“Oh, nothing.” I’m not good at this deflection business. You can’t miss a scar like that on someone.
“Did you have surgery?” he probes again.
“You could say that.” I keep moving toward the stall where Diamond is and lay the blanket on the door. I don’t plan on putting it on her. I just want her to see that it’s not harmful in preparation for when it does go on her.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just not many people I see who’ve had what looks like open-heart surgery at your age. I mean, I know it’s possible because bad things happen. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. I was curious, that’s all.”
My hand hovers over the latch. I pause and hang my head, releasing a breath. “Yes, I had surgery almost a year ago now. I’m okay, though, and I’d much rather not talk about it as it’s really hard for me.” Yep, I’m going with that line. It’s the last thing I want to talk about with him or anyone if I can help it. I’ll have to be more mindful of how my shirts sit from now on.
“That’s okay. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s fine.” Without another word, I unhook the latch and step into the stall. Diamond eyes me while moving from side to side, throwing her head back and moving in a jittery fashion.
