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“Now it’s turning to mud,” Delilah offers, then reaches out and wipes her hand on my cheek. “I think I made it worse,” she says breathlessly as I take in her proximity. She’s close, so close. As I reach up to wipe my face, our hands collide. I take her hand in mine, pull it down, and keep a light grip on it. The thrumming in my chest turns into a pounding in my ears. The warmth of her touch is soothing yet frightening at the same time.
I release her. That was too much from me, too soon. “Sorry.”
“That’s okay.” She lifts her hand and swipes away a few strands of her blonde hair. She’s so beautiful. Those big blue eyes hold mine for a beat, and then she smiles. “I’d be happy to give Rylee some riding lessons while you guys are here.”
I shrug. Ruby’s little hand slaps me in the face, removing me from the trance I was in. I jerk my head back and move her hand away. “Only if you have time. I’d hate to put pressure on you and your family.”
“That’s okay. I’m sure I can make time for you both. Every girl should be taught to ride a horse if they want to. I remember when my dad first put me on one. I was so frightened and even got kicked off a few times, but you always have to get back on if you fall off.” She shrugs.
I open my mouth to respond when her phone rings. Pulling it from her jeans back pocket, she says, “Sorry, it’s my sister who’s watching Olive. I have to get this.”
I nod, and she answers, “Hey, Sybil, is everything okay?” She’s silent for a beat and wipes her hand over her face, tiredness evident in her eyes. “Okay, I’ll be there shortly.” Ending the call, she sighs and then glances in my direction. “Sorry, I have to go. It seems Olive is rather unsettled.” Another sigh.
“That’s all right. I should get these two back home for baths and find some dinner. I can give you my number, and you can message me when you have some free time if that works for you?” I offer.
“Sure, not a problem. Here, I’ll give you mine as well so you know it’s me.” We exchange numbers and say our goodbyes as we exit the barn and leave the horses be.
“I like her, Daddy,” Rylee says as she happily takes my free hand and swings it back and forth while we walk to our cabin.
“I like her too,” I admit to my five-year-old.
“I can’t wait to ride a horse.”
“What will you do if something bad happens? Will you ride again?” I ask, wanting to make sure she understands that this adventure may not go to plan.
“She said that if you fall off, you have to get back on, so I’ll do that.”
My heart swells with pride. Rylee will be a force to be reckoned with later in life.
We fall silent. I take in the trees and hills surrounding us and the sun beginning to dip behind them. Our first day here is coming to an end. It’s going to be amazing, and I can’t wait for what’s to come, especially with Delilah working close to the cabin.
Seeing her would brighten anyone’s day—especially mine.
OLIVE’S UNSETTLED CRIES STIR MEawake from a deep sleep. I groan and reach over to my bedside and turn the lamp on. Getting up, I stumble a little. She has been unsettled for the last four days. These sleepless nights are killing me. She was fine until we came here. I know she’ll settle eventually, but I guess with so many new faces and less time with me, change is taking its toll on her. Tomorrow—well, today—I’ll spend more time with her and take her for a walk around the farm to see all the different animals, and maybe even take her to some places where her dad and I would hang out together.
Olive stands in her crib, clutching the side and bouncing while crying. I hope she’s not waking the house up. I pick her up and warm the bottle beside my bed. This little bottle heater is a lifesaver. I don’t have to go to the kitchen to heat bottles anymore. Best money I’ve ever spent.
I glance at my phone. It’s five-thirty. Please go back to sleep, Olive, I silently beg, already knowing my chances are slim of getting any more sleep. An early start is for the best. I can get as much done as possible while Olive sleeps.
Her little squeaks as she gulps down the last of her bottle bring a smile to my face. She’s mine, my beautiful Olive. I still find it hard to believe sometimes that I actually have a baby. I survived some of the most challenging years of my life to end up back here, in this same house full of memories—some good and some bad. I survived a failing heart only to be given a second chance at life, to be able to raise this little girl.
My arms tighten around her, and an immense swell of happiness and love fill me so much that I’m sure I’ll burst. The love that a mother holds for their child is so special, and my heart breaks for Sebastian’s girls, who miss out on those mother-daughter moments. It’s not fair. Life’s not fair sometimes.
Olive finishes the bottle. I remove it from her mouth, and her tongue keeps on sucking gently. I lift her slowly as if she’s a stick of dynamite that might explode with a sudden jolting movement.
After placing Olive back in her crib, I tiptoe downstairs. My feet stop once I see the light is on in the kitchen. I could go back up, but I find myself moving forward, carrying me down the hallway and into the lit room. Once again, Dad sits at the table with an iPad, a cup of coffee, and a plate of food.
“Morning,” I mumble and make my way into the kitchen to get myself a cup of coffee. I’m going to need an IV, given the state Olive has been in lately. I’ve heard it takes a few nights for babies to settle into new places and new routines.
“Morning,” Dad responds. “Rough night?”
My hand freezes while grabbing a mug from the cupboard. I shake my head. “Uh, yeah. Olive still isn’t sleeping well, so I’m not either, which makes it hard for me to get to the horses.” I turn and notice his eyes still trained on the screen in front of him, so I go back to my coffee.
“You could leave her with Mabel in the childcare? As much as it’s for the camp stayers, it’s for the workers as well,” he offers before taking a sip from his steaming mug.
I finish making my drink and sit opposite him at the table. “I could. I’m just worried she’ll continue to be upset.”
Dad peers over the top of the iPad. “Delilah, kids are resilient. She’ll be upset for a short time but will be fine. She’ll have fun.”
