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“Someone’s at my door. Hold on.” I keep her on the line and go to answer it. Pulling it open, I say, “Mom, I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I don’t give her a chance to say goodbye when I hang up.
Standing at my door, Delilah clutches Olive, who’s got fists full of food. It’s like a kick in the stomach, seeing her this way. Her cheeks are flushed and damp with tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go.” She sobs, and without a word, I pull Delilah against my chest. Delilah’s cries tear at my composure. Swallowing the lump forming in my throat, I say, “Come in.”
I lead her inside, keeping my arm tightly around her and Olive.
What has happened?I want to hurt the person who has caused her this much pain and anguish.
NOT KNOWING WHERE ELSE TOgo, since I didn’t have much choice apart from a barn, my car, or driving all the way into town to Isla’s place, and none of those options were good enough for Olive, so Sebastian’s it was. I never intended to absolutely lose my mind in front of him. I wasn’t planning to get upset when I told my family, but my father ruined that, making me feel so little once again. Poor Sebastian. Poor Olive—she didn’t even get a chance to eat her dinner or have a bath. This day started good, yet it has turned into a nightmare.
“I’m so sorry,” I cry out between hiccups. I must sound like a broken record with all the apologies spilling from my unfiltered mouth. I hug Olive to my chest, wanting her comfort and knowing she will always be there for me, but I also hate this for her. I hate being broken. No one wants someone as broken as me.
I thought I was finding my feet again, and now the ground is crumbling away from beneath me. Or maybe I’m just being dramatic again—that’s what Dad would say. I’m sure of it.
“What’s wrong, Delilah?” Sebastian guides me to the couch. Once he settles me, he holds his hands out for Olive, and surprisingly, she goes willingly. When she’s gone from my grasp, I feel bare. My knees come up to my chest, my arms securing themselves around them. I drop my head down and silently cry.
“She hasn’t eaten dinner yet or been bathed. I’m so sorry. My… my father…” I hiccup, not even able to finish the sentence.
“It’s okay. I’ve got something she can have.”
I can’t look up. I’ve stormed in here like a bending, winding tornado. Hopefully, I don’t leave destruction in my wake.
My father—how could he say those things? Sure, he didn’t know Eli’s story or mine. Maybe I should’ve been open right from the beginning, and he’d have understood me better. I didn’t come home to find myself a new guy, I came home to heal. To feel a part of something again. At one time in my life, my family was everything. We’re a large group, and sometimes we get up in each other’s business and drive each other nuts, but we usually work through our problems. It’s rare that they get swept under the rug until our next big blow-up.
The vibration in my pocket startles me. I pull out my phone and toss it on the coffee table, then lie down, hiding my face in my hands. I never knew that I’d experience this kind of raw pain again. It’s as though my stitches have burst open, and I’m exposed. I won’t lie here exposed again—never. I’m not the weak-minded girl I was these past three years. I hiccup one last time and take some deep breaths, pulling myself together.
Olive coos in the background. Sebastian is talking gently to her, and it soothes me at the same time as it seems to soothe her. “Hey, pretty girl. Let’s get you fed and have a bath. I even have clothes that will fit you. You look so much like your mama, even down to your cheeky little grin.”
She squeals with happiness, and her hands clap on the highchair tray, those little thuds filling the room.
My breathing calms as Sebastian talks, and Olive rambles back. Mama, baba, and everything else that she says brings me so much joy. My phone vibrates, and I ignore it again. I don’t want to talk to or see any of my family members.
“Delilah.” Sebastian gently touches my shoulder. Pulling my hands away from my face, I glance up at him. Confusion, uncertainty, and worry fill his eyes. His brow is furrowed. Reaching down, he swipes hair from my face. “What’s happened? Do you want anything?”
Slowly, I sit up, my body stiff for some reason. It’s as though I’ve been in one position for ages, and my joints are tight and ache with each movement. “I told my family about Eli and my transplant tonight. My father saw us kiss at Butter’s pen, and he basically made me feel as though I only came home to find myself another man and move on. That’s not why I came back, and I don’t want you to think I’m doing that with you.”
He takes my hand and grips it tightly. “I don’t think that, and I’m sorry tonight wasn’t good for you. You can stay as long as you like, and we can put you and Olive in my bed, and I’ll take the couch if you want?”
My stomach forms knots. Shaking my head, I say, “Thank you, but no. I’ll go home, but I needed some time away from everyone up there.” I nod in the direction of the homestead. I take a deep breath and slowly release it, the tension and sadness from earlier being erased.
“I understand. Stay as long as you like. I’m here for you.” He pulls me into his arms in an awkward sitting hug. No matter how weird it is, it’s still one of the best hugs I’ve ever had.
“Thank you so much. Again, I’m really sorry about this.” I glance over his shoulder to Olive, who’s happily putting food in her mouth and slapping the highchair table.
He adjusts his shoulder, and his head comes up. He takes my cheeks in his warm hands. “If you want to leave, I’ll help you. If you want to stay, I will be here for you. I’m not going anywhere. I think you’ve already been through enough sad and bad things… we both have. While I’ll never forget Anna-Beth, being with you has lit the spark within me, and I want to be able to care for someone again the way I cared for her.” Leaning in, he presses his mouth to mine, the night’s dirtiness washing away. As quickly as he’s there, he’s gone again, and I’m left wanting more.
Why do I have this overwhelming sensation to tell him that I like him? I’m drawn to him. I have been from the moment I met him. This is the stupidest time to tell him how I feel, so why is there a pounding in my chest? Butterflies in my stomach move in massive groups, and the urge to speak those words is so powerful it might knock me out of my chair. He has that power over me. It’s not the same as the power Eli had—his was about control and order. He bullied me with a do-as-I-say type of dictatorship. I won’t ever be a person who accepts that in a partner again. Tonight, I was weak, but tomorrow, not anymore. They now know the truth, and that’s all that matters. The rest is history. I need to make my feelings known. No more secrets starting right now.
“I have a confession, though, and I know this isn’t the best timing.” I sniffle, the tightness in my chest intensifying. “You’re a great guy, and I find myself liking you more and more. I feel stupid saying this right now, but, hey, when is it ever a good time to confess these types of things?” I puff out a breath and quickly refill my lungs, remembering to keep breathing in and out.
His smile widens, his white teeth shining, his eyes alive. “Wow, you seem to have taken the words right out of my mouth.” He pauses. “I’m not sure where that leaves us, though. I won’t be staying long.”
His last sentence shatters any hope I had of seeing him in the future. His job and his girls will always come first. “I know,” I reply, my voice low. “Perhaps coming here was a bad idea. I should go and sort out my mess. I’ve settled down now, and I have you to thank for it.”
He kisses me again, this time with a slow, deep purpose. Our mouths move as one, and a swell of desire rushes through me. He’s tender with his kisses and my heart. If I were to ever fall in love again, I’d want it to be with someone like him. He knows how to treat me, to care for me, and he’s discovered how in such a short time. He has captured my heart, body, and soul.
Pulling back, he says, “Wow, you take my breath away.”
I chuckle.
