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“I almost did but thought against it and that I’d give you another day. Tell me what’s been going on.” She loves details when it comes to her kids.
I take a mouthful of my drink. “Been spending time with the girls, who are having such a fun time. Rylee wants to learn how to ride a horse, and her little heart is set on it.”
“Oh, that’s exciting for her, and I bet scary for you.” Mom gives a nervous laugh.
“I was scared until I saw the horse Delilah planned to put her on. It’s such a smart horse as are all of them here. They’ve all been trained in a specific way, so I’m not too worried anymore.” I take another pull of my beer. How much should I tell Mom about Delilah?
“That all sounds wonderful. And tell me about this woman. Has anything more happened? How do you feel toward her?” There it is—her prying voice. She doesn’t think she has one, but she does. She sounds a little sly and then attempts to cover it with the littlest of laughs.
“She’s doing well. We went horseback riding together today. She told me a fair bit about herself. It’s pretty scary how much we’re alike.”
“How so?” Mom asks as I get up from my spot to raid the pantry and see what snacks I have. Might need to go to the shops at some stage to pick up a few things, especially diapers, since I’m almost out.
“Well, she’d told me she lost someone close to her. It was her husband, but he’d committed suicide.”
She gasps. “That’s horrible. That poor girl.”
“Yeah, she’s had it pretty hard by the sounds of it. Her husband wasn’t a great man… abusive, she told me. It seems she’s trying to find herself again in a way. I get where she’s at, though. It took a while for me to find all the pieces and not be stuck together by sticky tape. I had to find the super-glue to keep it together.”
“It’s not easy, losing someone to suicide… just the thought breaks my heart. I mean, I almost die every time I see you on the racetrack. I’ve finally gotten my heart in a good place, and you want to go race again.” Her voice is stern, but I know she wouldn’t expect to see me anywhere else apart from being behind the wheel of a race car.
I laugh. “It’s okay, Mom. I haven’t heard anything back from them yet, so rest easy for now.”
“I will. But enough about you, tell me more about her. Is this the first time you met?”
“No. I helped her in the hospital the day I lost Anna-Beth. She was in there for a heart transplant.”
Silence.
Did I lose her?
“Mom?”
She clears her throat. “Honey, have you thought… possibly that she’s the recipient of Anna-Beth’s heart. If she was in a bad way and moved to the top of the transplant list, it’s possible she received it since she was also in the same hospital.”
My heart thunders at the possibility. Surely not. Is that why I’m drawn to her? Because her heart is my wife’s? “I hadn’t thought about it. She did ask the other day if I’d looked into who received an organ from Anna-Beth. Do you think it’s possible?”
“Anything is possible, but the question is, what are you going to do with that information if it comes back that she’s the recipient? Do you think she’s put the timeline together, which is why she asked what she did?”
Mom has all these questions, and I have no answers. Things with Delilah are moving beautifully, and she makes me happy. It’s been so long since I’ve been willing to let the possibility of love into my heart again. “I don’t know, Mom. Do you think I should find out if it’s true?”
“I don’t know… that’s your choice. I can’t have a say here. You need to think about the possibility that she has it, and if she does, will that change your relationship or friendship… whatever you two have? It’s not easy being in your position. We both know Anna-Beth had a heart of gold, and this girl sounds like she’s trudged through a swamp of misery, and maybe it was Anna-Beth’s heart that led her back to her home, where you eventually ended up. Things happen for a reason.”
“Maybe. I’ll think on it. It’s a lot to take in right now.” Now it will be the only thing I think about whenever I see her. The only way to move past this would be to find out the truth and put my mind at ease. “Do you think it would be hard to find out if she got it?”
“I’m not sure, honey. There’s a way to look it up, isn’t there? But it might take a little bit of time.”
“Time is what I seem to have on my hands lately since I haven’t heard anything from Luke about a spot for next year. What if I don’t get to race again?”
“Sebastian King,” she says firmly. “Don’t you dare think like that. You’ll get a seat next year, even if it’s not with the same team. You’re a fantastic racer, and you’ve kept yourself fit and race-ready. You don’t pay that personal trainer for nothing. You pay him to keep you at your best, so when you get that chance again, you can slip right back in and kick some butt.”
Hearing my mother use the term ‘butt’ causes me to laugh. “That’s not something I usually hear coming from your mouth.”
“Well, it was called for. Don’t give up on your dreams. You’re still the same talented person you were when you left the racing scene. Your turn will come again. I have no doubt.”
I go to answer when there’s a thunderous knock at the door. My heart stops, and I glance in the direction of the girls’ shared room. “Who would be here now?” I mutter.
“What’s wrong?”
