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OLIVE’S HAPPY CHATTER STIRS MEawake, and I peek a glance at the window where there’s some soft light. It seems she’s finally caught the meaning of ‘a good night’s sleep.’ I won’t speak too soon because I’ll ruin it. It’s almost like a jinx with kids. When you tell someone they slept through the night, they’ll surely not sleep through the night moving forward just to prove you wrong.Sorry, Mom. You’re wrong.
Wait a minute.I bolt upright, my eyes finally focusing on what’s around me. I’m not in my own bed. Then last night’s memories flood me. We’d bathed Olive and put her to sleep in Sebastian’s bed with a heap of pillows surrounding her. I felt bad taking over his bed, but thankfully, he didn’t mind and offered. I remember sitting with him, curled up and tucked under one of his arms. Did he carry me to bed, and I don’t remember?
I am definitely in the cabin’s bedroom. It’s then I register Olive isn’t with me and that her laughs are coming from the other side of the door. I’ve never had anyone get her up for me. Eli wasn’t a hands-on dad, ever. He wouldn’t change diapers, bathe her, or give her bottles. Even when I was dead on my feet from exhaustion, he wouldn’t do it. But he’d be the fun dad and play with her for a little while here and there. He was a goodfundad.
Climbing out of bed, I adjust my clothes and straighten them up. I crack the door open, and the smell of pancakes hits my senses, causing my mouth to water. Then I remember I didn’t eat last night. Right now, anything would be great, even burned toast.
“Morning, sleepyhead. We’ve been having a party out here without you,” Sebastian greets with a warm grin on his face. Ruby and Olive are on a mat where they’re both clutching toast in their little hands, laughing at each other, and trying to share each other’s food.
“Sorry for falling asleep last night. I wasn’t planning on staying.” I rake my hands through my hair, trying to fix it. “You didn’t need to take Olive this morning either, but I do appreciate it.”
He leaves the frying pan for a moment and comes to me, heat in his eyes. He wraps one arm around my waist and pulls me against him before placing his mouth over mine for a quick morning greeting. “You deserve a sleep-in as well as the next mother. Moms need breaks too, you know.” With another dash of a kiss, he releases me and goes back in time to flip the bubbling pancakes.
“Where’s Rylee?” I take in the room and register she’s missing from the chaos.
“Oh, she’ll sleep for another hour or two. She’s a very good sleeper. Must get it from her dad because I love a sleep-in, but Anna-Beth? She was an early riser most of the time.”
“I can’t thank you enough. For last night… for calming me down and just being there for me. It’s usually my friend, Isla, who I turn to, but she’s a good few hours away.”
His focus is on the frying pan. “Even though I was your second option, I think I’ll be your first choice from now on.” Lifting his head, he winks. My stomach flips like a pancake.
I laugh at his wit. “Maybe you will be, but remember you won’t be here much longer.” My words bring a weird silence to the room. It’s not bad—just weird. I don’t want him to leave. I know he’ll have to, though, and I’m not sure when that will be. I’m still not sure if it was his wife who saved my life or someone else. Should I tell him I’ve been thinking about that?
“I wish I could stay,” he says softly, pulling me from my thoughts.
“I wish you could as well.”
He gets a glass from the cupboard and then pours me a juice. “What should we do?”
I press the rim of the glass to my mouth and pause briefly before taking a small refreshing sip, then swallow and answer, “I don’t know.”
It’s all so new, and I’m not sure I’m ready for a committed relationship. What if I fall head over heels and then end up flat on my butt again, sitting in the mud like I was before he came along and pulled me out?
He’s one in a million, but he also has high needs with his girls and his job. I couldn’t handle something like that. What the heck am I thinking? We’re nothing. We’re not going anywhere. It’s as if a light bulb lights up above my head, and a sense of dread pours over me like a cold bucket of water. I’m not sure I can do this with him—play happy families.
I move from the bench silently and collect my phone from the coffee table. It’s full of missed calls and text messages. I shove it back into my pocket. “Hey, so I think I better get going. It’s going to be a big day for me, and I better let you get back to yours without me hassling you with my daughter and family problems.” I clear my throat and keep my voice even as I attempt to be casual.
The moment those words leave my mouth, he puts down the egg flipper and comes to stand in front of me. He smells freshly showered, the scent of body wash hits my nose. “What just happened?”
I shake my head, shrugging. “I’m not sure what you mean. I need to go get ready for my day.”
His eyes bore into mine. It’s clear my casualness didn’t faze him. He can see right through my façade. “Don’t push me away, Delilah. Please. I’m happy to give you space, but please don’t push me away,” he says gently.
“I’m not. I just need to process things.” Moving around him, I collect Olive and an extra couple of pancakes. “Plus, I’ve got to get ready to teach little Rylee today. Thanks for last night. It meant a lot to have someone there for me.” I give him a chaste kiss and dash out the door into the early morning sunlight that blinds me momentarily. I shield Olive’s eyes as her head slams down on my shoulder, and she hides her face in my neck. “Oh, baby girl, you’re okay. Let’s go get ready for the day. It’s going to be a big one.”
I’m dreading the confrontation with my family when I get back up to the house. But it needs to happen. We can’t walk on eggshells around each other. Not that any of my family members would—we all like to express how we feel most of the time. I’ve become more reserved about wearing my emotions on my sleeve since keeping what happened to me a secret.
When I finally arrive at the door, voices filter out from inside. My hands tremble, and my body shakes with anticipation. What are they going to say? Will they be mad? I’m sure Tally will have something to say. She always does.
I open the screen and step inside. The voices stop, chairs scrape on the floor, and then footsteps rush to the hallway. Sybil, Tally, and Mabel stop when they see me.
“There’s the party girl. Come to Uncle Harley.” Harley comes from the living room to my left, claps his hands, and then opens his arms, waiting for Olive. She claps and leans into him, and I let him take her.
“Here. She can have these pancakes, and her sippy cup is in the kitchen.”
Harley meets my eyes and gives me a warm smile. He may be a clown on the outside, but on the inside, he’s a big softy and always looks out for his sisters.
“Thanks,” I say under my breath.
