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Chapter 8
Kennedy
I managedto stay off the couch.
Maybe I should’ve parked my ass on the couch.I’d been a cleaning fiend since I’d come home.The pile of junk in the garage had gotten rearranged.Again.Then I’d come inside and vacuumed.Swept the floor that didn’t need sweeping.Scrubbed the already clean bathroom.Now I was pushing a mop around the tiny kitchen floor, wishing I had another thousand square feet to go over.
Fatigue dogged me, clinging to my eyelids, making them heavy.At first, I’d thought it was from the early morning teary confession at my husband’s grave.Eventually, I realized that I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night.I wasn’t ready to think about why.
Liam had sent me a message.All it said wasPlease call me when you’re ready.
Would I ever be ready to face him?What did he think of all this?How did he feel?
How did I feel?Would I have the guts to call him before he left town again?
I’d have to.I couldn’t hide from him, and I’d promised I’d help with Eli’s speech therapy.
If it weren’t the weekend, I’d call my therapist.
The doorbell rang.I spun around, my heart clambering into my throat.Was he here?
I set the mop handle against the counter, but left the audiobook streaming over the Bluetooth speaker on the counter, and went for the door.The handle slid out and clattered on the floor.I yelped and jumped.Putting my hand to my chest, I rolled my eyes.I was a little strung out.
I peered out the little window in my door.Two heads were waiting on my doorstep and neither of them wore a navy-blue Drillers ball cap.
The disappointment was staggering.I ripped the door open, attempting not to scowl at the two people who were not Liam on my step.
I focused on the woman: my height, primly styled hair that was my color only highlighted within an inch of its life.“Mom?”I switched my gaze to the wiry man only a couple of inches taller than us.“Benji?”
I tried to be happy to see them.I tried.But today was a bad day, and they weren’t here just to visit.Mom’s expression said as much.Her eyes flared as she studied my appearance.Sweaty.Rumpled.My nightshirt was still under the shirt I’d worn yesterday, and dust from working in the garage was smeared over my leggings.
“I couldn’t quit worrying about you being all by yourself and the house falling apart around you like another water heater incident.”Mom embraced me before I had a chance to invite them inside.“I’m so sorry we couldn’t come earlier.Benji had to work yesterday.”
“I was busy yesterday,” I mumbled.The water heater incident had been all on me.Water in the basement, and I’d ignored it until Bruce stopped by and noticed the smell.The smell.I had worried it was me.The relief that it was the basement was the first sign to myself that I had descended too far into my melancholy.The reality of my finances was the final tug up.
She released me, giving me asure you were busylook and ushered me into my own house.“Benji brought his tools.I know Liam probably fixed the sink, but if there’s a leaky faucet, there’s probably more going on.”
“I fixed it.”With Liam’s guidance.Liam and the way he towered over me, making me more self-conscious of being spread out beneath him on my bathroom floor than I’d ever been in my life.Liam and the way he’d held me, like I was a fragile treasure that he didn’t want to let go of.Liam and the way I’d left him behind.
Benji followed us in and shut the door.“Did you call Thorson’s?The faucet’s not the only part that’s old.”
“No,” was all I said.Thorson’s was the plumbing company in town.The one I hadn’t needed because of Liam.
Guilt crept in, not just for how I’d jetted on Liam, but for being so curt with Benji.He treated Cassidy and me like people, not like kids he had to be buddies with in order to win Mom’s affections.But he also treated me like Mom did.He’d met her when I had started my treatment for Lyme, so I had still been ill and weak.He’d been with Mom when they’d dropped in to check on me throughout last year, and it had looked like nothing had changed since high school.Yet, when Mom thought I might need help, he’d grabbed his toolbox and left town with her.
“Hungry?”I asked, going to the mop.My stomach rumbled.I’d skipped breakfast.My appetite hadn’t dared rear its head after all the other feelings I’d dealt with this morning.
“You look tired, dear.”Mom fluffed my limp hair.I hadn’t brushed it yet today either.
“I am tired.”I shouldn’t have admitted it.Mom had no idea why I was emotionally and physically exhausted, and I’d never tell her.She’d try to ban me from Liam forever just because he’d cost me some sleep.
“Why don’t you lie down?Benji and I can run to the store and come up with an idea for supper.”
“Are you staying overnight?”Please say no.I loved Mom, but her smothering wasn’t going to make working through what had happened in the dark this morning any easier.
“No.I open the customer service desk tomorrow.But we’ll make sure you’re fed first.I’ll freeze some leftovers.”
Mom was an amazing cook.I didn’t know how I would’ve survived after the funeral without all the hot dishes from her and my neighbors that were frozen for later.
