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Bruce cleared his throat.“I couldn’t help but hear what you were listening to when I showed up on Saturday.”
“My audiobook?I’d been waiting for a month to get that one from the online library.I can see why there was a long wait.”I was waiting for a couple more on easy DIY projects I could do on a budget.
“If you need help, I can look over your finances—”
“No!”I hadn’t meant to shout.“No, thank you.I’ve got everything under control.”I wanted my growth to include all aspects of my life.Not just getting off the couch and showering.I wanted to be competent around the house, with my money, my job, my vehicle.Everything.I wasn’t going to be carried through life anymore.
“Kennedy, I know it’s all new to you: the mortgage, insurance, utilities.I can take over paying the bills again, figure out a monthly budget now that you’re working again.And”—he exchanged another glance with Willow—“we can help out.You know, if you need it.I know being a para doesn’t pay as much as your previous salary, or Derek’s.”
Willow’s encouraging nod didn’t help the dismay mushroom clouding in my chest.Because of my breakdown, Bruce had rescued me.He knew all about my bills, and it was a small town.A few well-placed questions and he’d have a rough idea of a para’s hourly wage.
I glanced between the two of them.They wanted to take over the budget and give me an allowance?Did they realize what they were asking?Did they realize the independence it would take away?
I was a twenty-six-year-old widow.An allowance?“I appreciate the offer, but I have it under control.If I can control a classroom of third graders, I think I can handle it.”My nervous chuckle landed in their silence.
“It’d take a lot of pressure off,” Bruce said gently, like he was talking to a skittish mare.“Really, we want to help.I’d never forgive myself if you were struggling and I didn’t know.”
The unspokenagainechoed between us.
That damn water heater.I hadn’t realized how badly it had scared Bruce and Willow.The leak must’ve happened right before Liam had left town for his twenty days.Not only had I ignored my hygiene because I didn’t have hot water and had told everyone I was fine, but my wet basement had been growing who knew what.If Bruce hadn’t stopped in, I might’ve gotten sick from the stagnant, mold spore-ridden air and my house’s foundation could’ve been ruined.“Honestly, I’m doing really well.I listened to that audiobook so I can get better, not because I can’t do it or because I’m in trouble.”
“Just think about it.We’re here for you.”Another shared look with Willow.
Were they listening?Anger at them draped around me like a suffocating plastic bag.Fury at myself for being so out of it during my breakdown joined in.How could I blame my in-laws for worrying and offering help when they’d had to hold my hand until I could stand on my own again?How could I prove to them that not only was I standing, but I was ready to run?Or did they even want that?
What if doting on me made them feel closer to Derek?
I pinched the bridge of my nose.And that was why my attitude had taken a dive.Times like this anchored me back into being Kennedy the Widow.I was a widow.That would never change.But I was embracing my other roles.Kennedy the teacher.Kennedy the DIY home repair hobbyist.Kennedy the girlfriend.And I really wanted to explore that last role.Because one of the lessons I’d learned as a widow was that life was short.
“Are you feeling okay?”Willow peered outside.“Oh, it’s getting dark.You can sleep over if you’d like.There’ve been several deer hanging out in the trees by the bend.I wouldn’t want one to jump in front of you on your way home.”
I saw my out and snatched it.“I’d better get going, then.I feel fine; don’t worry.”They’d worry, but I didn’t want to deal with that.
I said my goodbyes and did the best driving of my life when I looped around their yard.No deer were getting in my way.I was a woman on a mission.
Making sure not to kick up a dust cloud so my in-laws couldn’t see my route, I drove to the next driveway and the familiar copse of trees.
I could take care of my house.I could take care of my expenses.I could take care of myself.I was free to choose my path, and, when it came to sex, that path led to Liam.
By the time I jogged up the steps, Liam was at the door.“Hey.”His warm gaze swept over my face.“Everything okay?”
“Are the kids asleep?”
“I haven’t heard a peep from them in an hour.”
I put my fingertips on his hard chest and pushed him inside.“I think I’m ready.”
He shut the door behind me.“For what?”
“For everything.”
He didn’t haul me to his bedroom like I wanted him to.“What happened?”
I had told him about having to visit Bruce and Willow tonight.“Same old.”
“Revenge sex isn’t the answer,” he said softly.
This man.Always looking out for me.I cupped his face.“This is because of the way they coddle me, yes, but it’s not revenge.This is me realizing that I’ve come so far in my healing journey that I’m ready for more.I’m ready to be with you.”
