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She shook her head and gazed at the pastures. “No. We have, like, two-thirds of the bales we usually get. Not enough rain, and I don’t think we’ll get enough for another cutting. Buying bales is going to be expensive as fuck, and I think Ma is denying how bad of a spot we’re in with this too. Probably thinks if it gets bad enough, Kane will come to the rescue.” She gazed at me, her blue eyes full of desperation. “I’ve got to take care of this so he feels free to move.”
I’d been thinking about the hay issue. Hay was no different than any other resource. When supply went down, cost went up, and this was an area where I could help. I had a lot of contacts in the farm and ranch world. “I might know some guys.”
She chewed the inside of her cheek before she said, “Transport will still be expensive.”
“Ah, honey, remember? Everything’s negotiable.”
The corner of her mouth ticked up. “I think the way you worked over my insurance agent, Chad might drive across the country to pick up hay for you.”
“Tell me what you need and I’ll make it happen.”
“I know you can.” That wasn’t an appreciative tone.
“What brought this on?” She was about to brush my question off, but I slid my hand back around her waist. “I’m not upset, Delaney. We’re talking. This is what I’m here for.”
“Exactly. And when we’re done talking, then what?”
Then I’d bring my wife back home. She loved this life, but she wouldn’t admit she was miserable working with her mother. After talking to her the other night, I agreed that I didn’t have to cut Dad out of my life. But I had accepted it was perfectly reasonable that I didn’t have to stay and tank my life with him.
She leaned against the pickup and folded her arms, a look dangerously close to defeat on her face. “I missed this place the entire time I was gone. I missed waking up in the morning and walking outside to hear mooing. I even missed spring calving. I was sick of manicured lawns and strategically planned parks.”
“I missed it too.” And I had. I hadn’t admitted it to myself until now, but I’d known. I missed running out the door and the only traffic I had to watch out for was our dog. Mama had named him Rembrandt “because he had an artist’s soul.” Our dog had loved people almost as much as he loved circling his cows. Not like Portia.
“Do you still?” she asked. “Miss this life? Or is this like a dude ranch for you? Work it for a while, have a little fun, discover yourself, and then leave.”
The answer came easily. “We were working for someone else. It wasn’t my dream, and now I buy and sell that dream for others. This, with you, means a lot more than that ever did. I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t important to me.”
Her shoulders sagged like she was disappointed with my answer. What had her mother said to her?
She might love this place. It was her home. But I wasn’t sure it loved her back. Not like I did. I also wasn’t sure she was ready to see that, and she wouldn’t return with me if she thought her home was in trouble. “How ’bout you show me those numbers and I’ll see what I can do?”
* * *
Running numbers next to Delaney shouldn’t be sexy. But it was. When we were first married, Delaney had been sexy as hell, with softer edges and a subdued personality, but she’d been easy to talk to. I could ramble for an hour about my work, but she’d never brushed it off. Never changed the subject. Never gave me the sense she was about to drop dead with boredom. Summing it up to the fact she had been raised on a ranch was only part of the equation.
Delaney could rattle off the number of cattle she had, how many she planned to sell and how much she expected to earn, where that money would go, and how much feed, silage, and hay it would take to get them through the rest of the year until they could pray for rain and hay again.
“We’ll dilute the hay we have with silage; it’ll help, and our hay won’t go to waste. They’re out there grazing pastures full of the damn bugs, and we haven’t seen many issues. Other than they aren’t putting on the weight they need because of the drought.”
I scribbled some data down. “One of my old clients moved his family to Nebraska. I could give him a call. He might have some leads.”
Delaney’s eyes brightened. “Nebraska would be better than Oklahoma.”
The transport costs had her worried. The cost of mileage, the extra paperwork involved in hauling across state lines, the added cost of decent hay in a shortage. The work I’d been doing in Dallas that had consumed me could be used to help my wife.
“All we’re doing is getting information. But the people I’m contacting are like you. They’ve done this for a living. They know what bad years are like. They’ll be good to work with.”
She nodded and met my gaze. I held it, just enjoying being in a quiet room with her. Whatever had bothered her at the shed had taken a back seat to obtaining enough food to get her herd through the fall and winter. A tiny crease formed between her brows as she calculated bales and how long they could last.
I liked working with her. I liked seeing glimpses of her ass when she dug tools out of the truck. And the memory of what had happened in the motel room kept me rooted to the fact she and I were napalm together. But I missed having her next to me outside of the bedroom too.
I missed the nights when I didn’t have business dinners and wasn’t out of town for work. We closed the world out of the condo, cuddled on the couch, and streamed movies. Some nights she’d fall asleep, and I’d carry her to bed. I’d get in next to her while her soft floral scent curled into my nose.
The motel had become my purgatory. I had to sleep by myself and listen to the cars coming in off the highway. Teenagers revving their engines at all hours, reminding me of how Ansen and I used to raise country-boy hell. We might not have had a lot of friends, and he was several years younger than me, but he’d wanted to see how fast the old truck of Dad’s could go. We’d hooted and hollered at the dust cloud I’d kicked up.
The longer I was in Coal Haven, the more those memories surfaced.
Delaney peeked at her phone for the time. “Kane wants to talk to me. Ma must’ve told him she told me and is probably making him feel terrible for leaving.”
