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“I need to talk to him.”
“He’s not going to help you. And he definitely won’t help a divorced woman with four kids. He’s the guy people like Emery’s ex fork boatloads of cash out for.”
That was sort of what I wanted to hear. “It’s either that, or if Emery ends up moving, I go with her.” If she’d have me.
Mom’s mouth dropped open. She hadn’t thought I would risk my heart again. “Why? You haven’t known her for long.”
“I’ve known her long enough. She’s special, and I’m not letting some jealous ex ruin it. But I don’t think either one of us should have to play his game.”
Mom’s mouth flattened, and she chewed the inside of her cheek. “This ex—he really a bastard?”
“He’s a controlling fuck, and he’ll keep upsetting Emery’s life when she stands up to him. His pride is a weapon.”
“Fucking pride.” She adjusted her stance, her boots grinding in the dirt. “Your dad started talking marriage when I told him I was pregnant. He was like everyone else, bitching at me when I’d move cattle on a horse at six months along.”
People probably would’ve had issues with Mom tossing me into the bed of the pickup and bumping through the pastures. Child safety wasn’t at the top of her mind.
“Then he was going on about how I’d change my last name and maybe we could rebrand the ranch and—” She sucked her lips against her teeth. “Then I asked him why he wasn’t changing his name. We could rebrand his business. ‘Barron Law’ has a nice ring, don’t you think?”
“It does,” I agreed. Not quite like Rotham, McGuinty, and Partners. Jack Rotham wasn’t a man who’d entertain changing his name.
“Then he started in on you. Doing what Emery’s ex is doing.” She gave an indignant sniff. I had heard parts of the story, but thanks to Henry, I understood it a hell of a lot better now. “I think he would’ve liked to have known you. But his requests always came with concessions, and I refused. If he couldn’t see you without playing fucking games, what kind of mindfuck was he going to pull on you?”
Surprise ran through my veins. A pleasant surprise. Mom had looked out for me. I’d gotten used to her cold demeanor, and I had understood some of her motivations, but I hadn’t recognized how staunchly she protected what was hers. It didn’t explain how she was with Nora, but I could tackle only one issue at a time.
“I think he resented you, though,” she said. “You didn’t defy me and seek him out yourself.”
“He moved to Billings.” What the hell was I going to do as a teen? Drive six hours and say “surprise” to a dad who had seemed to ignore me?
But I wasn’t a teen anymore, and my eyes were wide open.
“Men don’t always make sense, but one thing they all have in common, in my experience, is that damn pride.” She tapped her fingers on her hips, her gloves making a dull thud against her jeans. “So if you want him to help you, cater to that.”
She walked past me but stopped. “I don’t want you to leave Coal Haven again.”
Was that her way of telling me she loved me? “I know.”
“Do you want to have kids?”
“I’d love to have a life full of them. Whether they’re biologically mine or not. I’d love a big family. But did you think it was right that you were put under so much pressure to have kids to pass everything down to?”
“Right is different from reality. You want some big industry coming in and wiping everything out? Want the pastures filled with windmills and their blinking red lights?”
I gave her ayou know betterlook. “I’m not your only chance at grandkids.”
Mom’s expression turned to stone. “If it gets out that whoever knocks up that girl gets a direct line to her oil money and all this land, you think she’s gonna suss out who legitimately likes her and who’s using her? She’s too trusting.”
Nora was trusting, and she was naive, but I didn’t think she was the attention-starved girl Mom assumed she was. Nora had chosen pajamas and sleepovers instead of dating, and I doubted she was tight lipped like I had been to hide the fact that she was seeing someone. I didn’t think she was dating at all, and I thought she preferred it that way.
“But I get what you mean,” she conceded. “You gotta understand, it’s a lot of pressure. It was a lot of pressure when I was in my twenties and being asked when the next generation was coming. ‘We have to secure the legacy.’” She rolled her eyes. “It’s an indoctrination, and I’ve been a follower all my life. You tell me that I can trust you’ll do right by this ranch, and I’ll work on making my peace with it.”
“Even if it includes windmills?”
Her lip curled up. “Don’t mess with me, Holden. Hate those damn things.”
She walked away, leaving me alone. I’d always shrugged Mom off. Endured her personality. I’d tried talking to her, but this was the first time it was actually effective.
I tried not to take it as a sign, but as my footsteps crunched through the dusting of snow on the way to my pickup, I dwelled on how to appeal to my dad’s pride.
