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His statement resonated with knowing. The comment he’d made the other night about his mom added some context. “You were in charge of your sister a lot?”
He lifted a shoulder. “Sometimes, it felt like I was all she had.” He grinned, wiping all heaviness from his eyes. “Want to pet Pittance?”
“How’d he get his name?”
“When I picked him out, Mom said it was a pity I didn’t want a better horse. I was all of fifteen with an ornery streak, so I named him Pittance.”
“She would’ve chosen a different horse?”
“Only different from what I wanted, depending on her mood.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. I’d had two loving and supportive parents. Mom had been my rock before, during, and after the divorce, never questioning whether I should leave Henry. She had questioned whether I should’ve married him, and looking back with twenty-twenty hindsight, I realized I should’ve paused and listened. Mom had never asked me to stop and think about anything I’d done before or after.
“I’ll bring him around so they can pet him and feed him treats. Then you and the others can hang out while I let Avery ride.”
Pittance was already saddled. To me, he looked similar to Poppy. Holden hopped the fence, and my belly tightened. All because he jumped a fence. Henry wasn’t the fence-jumping type. He liked to run while decked out in head-to-toe moisture-wicking fabric and the most expensive shoes on the market. His weekend hobbies aligned with what his fellow surgeons did on the weekend. Golf trips and boating. He would probably get a pontoon now that I had half his med school loans dumped on me.
Don’t worry, baby. When I’m a surgeon, we’ll pay those off in no time. I’ll probably get a signing bonus.
He had. And he’d pumped it into a new, bigger house in the million-dollar-house neighborhood where he’d heard other doctors lived. So then we’d had a giant mortgage along with his student loans.
I’d paid most of mine, using my signing bonus and taking extra shifts when Mom could help with the kids.
But those were thoughts for another day. They were worse today only because I’d had to pay bills last night.
Fucking Henry.
I helped referee the kids as Holden let them come in one at a time to pet Pittance and give him a carrot. Since Avery had ridden before, I had them go by age. He put Landon in the saddle and led Pittance around. Riley squealed and my heart stopped, but Pittance only tossed his head.
Next was Afton. She was so nervous, she didn’t move once she was in the saddle. She looked like she’d been hit with a freeze ray the entire time.
“Next is Riley’s turn,” Avery said, leaning against the fence like a seasoned cowgirl. All she needed was a blade of broom grass sticking out of her mouth.
I went through the gate and approached Pittance. I let him snuffle around her. Breath puffed out of his nostrils as he turned his head to sniff her. She patted him and twisted her hands in his coarse mane.
I didn’t realize how much I was grinning until Pittance lifted his head to smell me, his big nostrils flared in his velvet nose. “Are you going to get on and hold her?” I asked Holden.
His gaze landed on Riley. For a single heartbeat, stark pain flitted through his amber eyes.
Whatever had caused it, I wasn’t going to add to it.
“She’s too young,” he said with a slight waver in his voice.
I didn’t know where his fear was rooted, but there was more to him than just being uncomfortable around kids, and the younger they were, the easier it was to see. Riley was going to throw a fit if she didn’t get on a horse like she’d seen the others do, but I could carry her to the house so she didn’t upset the horses. “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”
I took a step back, but Riley swung her body toward the horse.
His normal affable look was back in place. “Maybe you can go to the other side and hold her up? I’ll stay on this side.”
I was only average height, but I knew I’d be able to set her in the saddle, and it would prevent a tantrum. I wasn’t scared of horses, but I didn’t know enough to be comfortable around them.
“Okay, hold on right here,” I told Riley after we’d walked around in front of Pittance, giving the horse a wide berth. She wrapped her chubby hands around the saddle horn.
“Ready?” Holden asked. He led Pittance slowly around the arena for a full lap.
When she was supposed to get off, she held her arms out to him. He blanched, and like earlier, he covered it with his trademark grin, but I was already lifting Riley down.
“Come here, hon.” She reached her hands behind me and strained for Pittance. “No, baby. It’s Avery’s turn. Should we find some kitties?” Tabby would be the perfect distraction if she was as friendly as Holden said.
