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CHAPTER ONE
Carly
“Carly, here’s acrucifix to hang over your door. I’ve got plenty more at home, but your grandmother doesn’t have one for your room.” Momma shoved the small artifact of Jesus dying an agonizing death at me.
I took it, and when I looked down at it, Jesus and I made eye contact.Poor Jesus.Momma wassoCatholic. She loved her crucifixes and her rosary. And going to masseveryday. My sister, Leah, and I had realized early on that Momma’s religion was her crutch and her weapon, for pretty much everything. I still hoped I wasn’t going to hell for my somewhat small transgressions as I’d been told I was as a child.
We lived in Louisiana, and there was a lot of Jesus everywhere. Both Catholics and Protestants. The Catholics were quiet prayers and the Protestants, according to Momma, were competitive out-loud prayers. Having known many of both, I could confirm that was somewhat true. The out-loud praying was an accomplished skill honed by Protestants from childhood. Most Catholics were secretly impressed by it.
“Is that everything, baby?” Daddy pulled me from my dogmatic musings. I was thankful for my daddy, who still tempered Momma’s intensity at every turn.
“I think so. The van is empty and the storage room is full. And I’ve already brought everything over to Nana’s house that I need for now.”
I’d moved home to Cypress Bayou of my own free will. Hard to believe, but there was a pull to this town I couldn’t explain, besides my weird family and my two best friends—Jo and Sue—though we hadn’t spoken in a while. I’d been away for the better part of eight years. Now that I was done with law school, it was time to find gainful employment.
I’d put some feelers out with a few folks in Baton Rouge and New Orleans about job opportunities because I hadn’t quite reconciled living in Cypress Bayou forever, so I wanted to keep my options open for anything too good to pass up. Both cities were a half a day’s drive away, so even if I moved south, I’d still be somewhat close to home. Part of me didn’t want to settle for good enough, because it was likely that anything I found here wouldn’t be for the length of a career.
I planned to live with my maternal grandmother, Nana, for now, who was way cooler than Momma, her daughter. Nana owned a historical home right outside of town called Plaisance House. It was built back in the late 1700s and had some significance during and after the Civil War. It had burned during the war but was rebuilt in the Greek Revival style. So, yeah, really cool house.
My sister, Leah, was breaking ground on a house down the bayou with her new husband, Jake. They were sloppy in love, but it was okay because they’d worked hard to finally find their way back to each other after several years of being apart.
I was happy for them but couldn’t see finding what they had for myself anytime soon. I’d not experienced a great romance in my life. An epic crush, yes. And as a young girl it had felt like love. But I’d had nothing since that had been requited and could qualify for a deep relationship. Most of my friends had fallen in love at some point throughout our teens. Aching, crushing love. I’d had boyfriends, sure, but nobody who had brought me to my knees. It was all around me, but I didn’t truly understand that kind of passion and pain, or joy either, I guess.
I’d mostly been competitive with guys throughout college in pre-law and law school. And when I’d been in a dating situation and done better on a test or ranked higher in the class, those guys lost interest. They’d shown their fragile egos when it came to being beaten by a girl they were dating. I’d decided then that it wasn’t worth getting involved with a man who was so easily put off by my success. I don’t think my lack of boyfriends had anything to do with my looks because I noticed that men were attracted to me—initially anyway.
The problem was finding a strong man who was my equal and had no problem with my…ambition and perfectionist tendencies. Right now, dating wasn’t at the top of my list though. That made life a lot easier. That’s what I told myself anyway.
I knew my family would be thrilled to have me home while I figured out what to do next. I was pretty good being independent, but with a family like mine, it was easier to come on home and accept the well-meaning advice, delicious meals, and let them bless my heart as often as they felt the need.
In the meantime, did Cypress Bayou really need another lawyer? They were neck-high in them it seemed, so I had my work cut out for me in my employment search.
As I climbed in my car and waved at my parents, who’d been kind enough to help me move my things, I received a text. I didn’t recognize the number.
Hey Carly. I heard you were back in town and looking for work. Let’s meet and talk. This is Tanner in case you wondered.
I stared at the text. With punctuation. And my stomach did some funny flips.
Tanner Carmichael. He’d been my secret crush. My childhood addiction. I’d been in braces with zits when he’d dated the homecoming queen. But my one-sided love for him had been fierce and true, or so I’d believed at the time. He was my older sister’s boyfriend’s older brother. So, when I said earlier that I’d never been in love, Tanner was the exception.
My current age of twenty-six and his current age of thirty-two didn’t seem as insurmountable now as it had back then. But my twelve to his eighteen had been an ocean of impossibility over a decade ago for normal people. Not that we were normal, because of our family connection. But now, he was my sister’s brother-in-law. We were family-ish.
I responded:Hi Tanner. Thanks for reaching out. I’d love to meet.I was cool but interested. No signs of a hormonal crush there.
Tanner was a local attorney. He really could help me. The dots waved at me as I waited.
Him:I get out of court at five today. How about a beer and oysters at Mother’s at 5:30?Mother’s Oyster Bar was a dive right on Front Street. Nothing fancy, but the beers were cold and the seafood fresh. It was a local favorite.
Me:I’ll see you there
The sixteen-year-old me would’veJUST DIED. But hey, I was a grown woman now. I’d been around. I’d even been around Tanner without making an idiot of myself countless times. Because his brother and my sister were married to each other, and it was required.
My girlfriends Jo and Sue would have so much to say about Tanner’s texting me. But I hadn’t yet let them know I was back home to stay. Jo was a paramedic in town. She was a lesbian and currently not in a relationship. She’d gone through some extremely rough times during our high school years and beyond. Her sexuality was never in question, but living here in Cypress Bayou, well, that made it hard for her. Her parents made it hard too. Jo was such a deeply nice person and hadn’t deserved the small-minded responses that had hurt her so badly.
I could empathize to some degree, but I’d never know what going through that was like as a teen and young woman. I’d been different too, but in a more socially acceptable sense for this small town.
Sue and I stuck by her, but we’d gone our separate ways after graduation. Sue had been boy crazy since middle school. She’d been in desperate love more times than any of us could count. Sue always had a boyfriend, and when she didn’t, she was abjectly miserable. Right now, Sue was engaged for the third time. I hadn’t met the latest fiancé, but I’m certain I would soon.
We were all still in loose contact, but it wasn’t the same as before we’d gone to college. I hoped to remedy that once I got settled. We’d all shared so much growing up. I looked forward to reconnecting.
