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She wrenched her head back, her brows knitting over glassy eyes. “What I want? What is that?”
“Someone who can be your partner.” Mike let his eyes drift past her, back to Bobby’s conversation, and to this last week while he worked to figure out how to make more money. “Someone who can provide for you.”
She sniffled, bringing his attention back to her face. She looked pissed now. “And you don’t want to do that?”
“It doesn’t matter what I want.” When she shook her head, he dropped his hands to hers, bringing them together against his chest. “I don’t want to hold you back. You have things you need to do, and so do I. We said we’d have fun for the summer, and we did. I think it would be best if we left it at that.”
“Really?”
He nodded unsteadily. If he weren’t holding on to her hands, he might’ve lost his balance.
“You say I’m a bad liar?” She huffed out a shaky breath. “So are you. You don’t want to leave it at that. You’re just afraid. After everything…”
He thought she might cry, but she didn’t give in to tears. Instead, she ripped away from him. When he listed toward her, she held up her hand, keeping him from touching her again.
“After I was the one to tell you the truth, now you’re going to lie to me?” She set her fists at her sides, her face pulled into beautiful determination. “You’re letting Bianca and your past dictate your life. I told you I love you, but you’re so deep into your insecurities that you don’t believe me or don’t want me to or won’t admit to yourself that you can be happy. Whatever it is, it’s bullshit.”
When he tried to argue, she pointed her finger at his chest, stopping him. He didn’t know what he would’ve said anyway.
“I’m not the one running away. You are. I’m doing what I was supposed to from the beginning. I’m only sorry that the first person I let myself fall in love with wasn’t the man I thought he was.” She stepped away, sending him one more withering glare. “And you have no idea what I want. If you did, you’d know I don’t care about anything else but you. I only want you.”
Then she stalked back to her house, where her brother and father were in the garage, fiddling with Gavin’s car. She hugged them both, shouting her love over her shoulder as she jogged to her car, brushing by Mike as if he didn’t exist.
Glancing out of the passenger side window, she waved at Jimmy, still standing at the front door, then started her car and drove off.
30
“What the fuck was that?” Jimmy asked as Mike shouldered his way past his brother to make his way back downstairs. “I told you not to hurt her.”
“Stay out of it.”
“Stay out of it? That’s all you have to say? After I watched you break one of my best friends’ hearts?”
At the bottom of the steps, Mike swung around on Jimmy, frustration and anger coursing through him, so much so that he felt the need to hit something. Instead of his brother, he knocked his fist into the wall and hissed in pain.
“I don’t know what happened between you two, but I’ve never seen you happier than you were this summer, and you’re a fucking idiot if you let it end like this.”
Mike clenched his left hand over the throbbing knuckles of his right hand and sat on the edge of his bed. “It’s not that simple.”
“Nothing is ever simple. That doesn’t mean you throw it away.” Jimmy grabbed the chair from the desk and towed it over to sit down in front of Mike. “What’s with you, man? Ever since you moved home, it’s like…” He circled his hand in the air, searching for his words. “It’s like you’re looking for excuses.”
“Excuses?” Mike repeated with a jerk of his head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I do know. You used to be different. You’d never back down from anything, and now you barely even try.”
“Fuck you,” Mike growled, moving to stand, but Jimmy shoved him back down.
“You say I don’t understand, then explain it to me.” When Mike didn’t speak, Jimmy sat back, crossing his arms over his chest and his legs at the ankles. “I’ve got all day.
Mike tried to wait him out. One minute and then two passed, and his stubborn little brother appeared as if he had no cares in the world, and Mike finally gave in with a rough exhale. “You don’t know what it’s like to have your life turned upside down. Everything you thought it’d be, isn’t. Everything you thought you’d have is gone.”
“You’re right. I have no idea what that’s like, but why are you trying to make it seem like you’re somehow worse off than before?” Jimmy held up his fingers as he listed his points. “You got dumped, but Bianca was no big loss. You got a new leg, so you aren’t in pain anymore. And you’re out of the military. Things seem pretty swell to me.”
“Swell?” Mike clenched his teeth.
“Yeah, well…at least until a few minutes ago.” His brother flicked his hand out. “I can’t understand what’s so bad now. I didn’t think you actually enjoyed being a Marine.”
No, he didn’t particularly enjoy it, but he at least felt like he had a purpose. “I was good at it.”
