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“I was wondering if maybe…if I came by the house tomorrow afternoon, if you would be there to sort of…I don’t want to say oversee us, but…” She looked helplessly at Savannah. “I don’t even know what I’m trying to say except I want to go when the boys aren’t there, but I also don’t want to go there alone. Would you…?”
“I get off at four and if any of your sons are going to go over, it’s usually after six, so…how about we say 4:30?”
Tears filled Grace’s eyes as she stepped forward and hugged Savannah. “Thank you.” And with one fierce squeeze, she stepped back. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
* * *
Jackson hungup his phone and looked at the time. It was almost eight and he and Savannah were going to have a late dinner at his place. She wasn’t planning on spending the night, but he wanted some quiet time alone with her. Garrett and Emma were having dinner with Cash and he had asked them to take him down to the pier in Magnolia so he knew they were going to be with him until he went to sleep.
He appreciated how much his family was stepping up and spending time with his father so it all wasn’t on Savannah, but he knew it bothered her to be away from him all day while she worked and then again at night if they wanted to go out.
There was a soft knock on his door and when he pulled it open, he gently hauled her into his arms and kissed her.
“Oh my…” she said breathlessly a moment later. “That was quite the greeting.”
Taking her by the hand, he led her into the apartment and over to the sofa. Their Chinese food was waiting for them and he had wine ready to be poured and soft music playing. Once they were sitting, he looked at her. “Thank you.”
“For…?”
“For what you did today,” he said. “I just got off the phone with my mother and…” Pausing, he sighed. “You made quite an impression on her and made her feel better than me or my brothers have. So…thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me. I’m just glad I could help.”
“Yeah, but…you have no idea how big of a deal this is for her. We’ve all been wondering why she’s been so quiet and keeping her distance.”
She gave him a patient smile. “You’re all too close to the situation and to her. I’m sure it’s hard to be objective. You’re all emotionally invested. She needed someone who maybe can see both sides.” Picking up her wine, she took a sip. “Ooh…that’s good.” With a shrug, she added, “She’s in an awkward position because as your mom, she’s hurting for you and your brothers because you’re about to lose your father. As a woman and a wife—or ex-wife—she’s losing the man she once loved. I’m sure her feelings for Cash are all over the place.”
“All of our emotions are all over the place,” he murmured, raking a hand through his hair. “Honestly, most of the time I have no idea how I’m supposed to feel. For years it’s like I was mad at him for living and now I’m kind of mad because he’s dying while the kid in me is really enjoying having this time with him just talking and hanging out. It doesn’t seem fair that we’re finally having a relationship and now it’s…it’s for nothing.”
“It’s not for nothing, Jackson. This time is for the two of you to have some peace and closure. You’re fortunate that you have your brothers and your mom because when this is over, you’ll have people to grieve with. I had my dad after my mom died, and then Cash was there after my dad passed.” She shrugged. “I think Cash is just wanting to leave you with good memories so maybe you’ll see that it wasn’t all bad.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“What will you have?”
For the life of him, Jackson had no idea what he expected her to say, but he had hoped she’d say that she’d have him.
But she didn’t.
“I’m going to have good memories,” she said with a small sigh. “And then I’m going to do what I’ve been doing all along. I’m going to pick myself up and do what I have to do and just…live.” She took another sip of her wine. “That’s not to say that I won’t grieve because I will, but I’ve learned that grief sneaks up on you at the weirdest times and you can’t just plan a time to do it. I’ve cried in the middle of a supermarket over a can of baked beans because they were my dad’s favorite. It’s a part of life—a sad part of life, but part of it just the same.”
He hated how she was so casual about the whole thing. And while he knew it was because she’d dealt with so much of it in her life, it still broke his heart how she was still feeling as if she had to just take it and deal with it all on her own.
Which is why he decided to be a little bold.
“Savannah, I get that death is a part of life, but when this is all over, you’re not going to be alone. You have me and my whole family. We’re all going through this together and I hope you don’t think you have to put on a brave face or step back because of…I don’t know…anything.”
Her smile was patient and sweet, but…it didn’t quite meet her eyes.
“I appreciate that, Jackson. I do. If it’s okay with you, I’d really rather not spend our time together talking about this. We get so little time just the two of us, and I’d much rather spend it laughing and talking about good things.” This time her smile was brighter. “Tell me something good that happened to you today.”
“My two favorite girls in the world met and had a good visit.”
“Jackson…”
“Okay, okay…fine.” Although he really thought that was a great thing to happen, he supposed she meant talking about something that didn’t relate to his family and Cash. “Um…oh! I actually did all of my PT exercises with no issues. Plus, I found a physical therapist here in town who has openings to take me on.”
