AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Shaking her head, she didn’t even look at him. “No, I’m not. Not really. Plus, when you say that and we’re walking hand in hand like this, it sounds icky.”
That made him laugh again. “You seem to use that word to describe us a lot. Should I be offended?”
“You know what I’m saying, Jackson,” but there was a hint of humor in her voice. “This is a part of Cash’s life that I’m really not a part of, and we add in my relationship with you, it just feels weird to me. I’m not sure where I fit and I’m not really sure if I even should.”
Okay, this he could work with.
“Savannah, you may not always get this from the things I say or do, but my family is freaking awesome.”
“Weren’t you here in Laurel Bay because you were avoiding them?”
“Well, yeah, but…that was on me, not them. But seriously, my extended family is amazing and pretty much once we meet you, you’re family. That’s just the way it is. So whether you’re Cash’s friend or my girlfriend, you’re one of us.”
She stopped walking before he realized it and she was yanking on his arm.
“I’m your girlfriend?”
Was she serious?
“Of course you are. I would have thought that was obvious.”
“But…we’re just…you know…just because we’re sleeping together doesn’t mean you have to put a label on us,” she stammered. “I mean…it’s not a big deal.”
Jackson tugged her in close until he could put his arms around her. “It’s a big deal to me,” he said gruffly. “Don’t you get it? I’m crazy about you.”
She eyed him warily. “But…?”
“But what? But nothing.”
“Jackson, come on. There’s something else you were going to add to that.”
“Fine. There’s a part of me that wishes we didn’t have this…connection,” he carefully explained. “Like…there’s no separation. We’re connected through the one person who I have conflicted feelings about. And…if I’m really being honest…there’s a part of me that has a…a tiny problem with the fact that he was more of a father to you than he ever was to me.”
She tried to move out of his arms, but Jackson held firm.
“I wanted to be honest with you,” he told her. “It’s something I’m struggling with, but I think I’m struggling with a lot right now because of the circumstances.” Reaching up, he cupped her face. “But when I look at you, I see this amazing woman who I’m really enjoying getting to know. There are just times when…the rest gets in my head.”
“That’s never going to go away,” she breathed. “Even when Cash is gone, that’s still going to be there between us. Maybe…maybe it’s best if we don’t put a label on us. Or…maybe we stop doing this all together.”
Shit.
He really hadn’t meant to share all this with her and now that he had and this was her reaction? He’d give anything to take it back.
“That’s not what I want, Savannah. That wasn’t what I was saying. I wanted to be open and up front with you so that you would know you could do the same with me. I could tell you were uncomfortable tonight and I hated it for you. If anyone’s been mean to you or made you uncomfortable…”
“Like you said, your family is awesome. Honestly, I had no idea families could be like this and sometimes it makes me sad, Jackson. I can’t help it. So this is me being honest with you.” She let out a long breath and met his gaze. “I’m not somebody who does well with all this…closeness. It’s not who I am. It makes me uncomfortable to be around all your relatives because I have no idea how to act or what to do. And as for the two of us…well…you shouldn’t really think of us beyond the here and now because once Cash is gone…I’ll be gone too.”
“You’ve said that before, but I don’t understand. Where are you planning to go?”
“Back to Seattle. I have friends there and it’s where I grew up. It’s familiar to me and comfortable. The only reason I came with Cash was to make sure he made it home okay. And now that he has…”
He didn’t like the way she said that.
“So…are you saying that if you could, you’d be gone already?”
“What? Oh, no. No. Definitely not. I want to be here for Cash. He’s always been there for me and…” Cringing, she slammed her eyes shut. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I never should have said that. Especially knowing how you feel and…”
Now he realized the problem.
