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Chapter 11 - Jade: Goodbyes
I hadn’t slept more than two hours last night. I stared at myself in the mirror and analyzed my face. I had done my best to cover the dark circles with makeup, but I still looked tired.
Today was the big day. I knew I was supposed to feel sad, but I felt nothing. I had dressed the part in an all-black, past-the-knee dress. I wore a comfortable pair of red bottoms that Tash had gifted me for my birthday last year, and I had kept the makeup simple.
The only jewelry I was wearing was my small pendant with the initials A.S engraved on it. I clutched the pendant in my hand. It was the last thing I had of her, and I carried it with me every single day. Today, I would draw strength from it, so I could just get through all of this.
I was supposed to board a plane tomorrow morning after the funeral, but now with Ethan’s legal issues, I was forced to stay. When I had looked at his case, to me it seemed like an easy enough win. I would only need to be in Riverroad an extra week.
I had accumulated enough vacation days that I could be away for a month, but I didn’t want to be here longer than intended. It was already hard trying to deal with Grayson and my feelings about this place.
I heard a knock at my door.
“Come in.”
Ethan peeked his head through the door opening. I watched him through the mirror, offering him a small smile.
“You ready?” he asked.
I nodded. “As ready as I will ever be. You got your speech ready?”
He held up a folded piece of paper.
“Good. What time is the service meant to start?”
“Within the hour, so we should probably head to the church now.”
“Okay.”
Ethan left my room and headed downstairs leaving me in my room alone.
I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked every bit my mother’s daughter. As a child, I used to love the fact that I resembled my mother so much but now it was a curse.
I knew I should have been feeling something, but I just felt nothing. I didn’t know if my brain was suppressing my emotions or if I genuinely didn’t feel anything.
The only time I had cried since being here was when I had entered my room for the first time, and it wasn’t even about my mother. It was the flashbacks of Grayson and me in here. The last conversation we had in here.
I hadn’t spoken to Grayson since our little spat in his car. When he had come home with Ethan, he avoided all forms of eye contact and kept our communication to zero.
I breathed out a heavy sigh, grabbed my bag, and left the room. Today I would say goodbye to a woman who had died years ago when the white lines had taken hold of her soul. Monica Masters died the same night my father did in that car crash. The woman who had been left behind was a mere shell of what had existed prior.
I walked down the stairs to an awaiting Ethan and Grayson. They were talking in lowered voices to each other but immediately stopped when they heard the click of my heels on the wooden stairs.
They looked up at me; Ethan smiled, and Grayson scowled. No surprise there. I guess he was done with ignoring me and had gone back to hating me. Perfect.
“What are you guys talking about?” I looked between them.
“The funeral,” Ethan blurted. “We were talking about the arrangements. Grayson was telling me that Astrid wanted to give a speech, but I told him that we won’t have time in the program for it. Isn’t that right, Grayson?”
“Astrid is coming?” I interjected, looking at my brother.
He scratched the back of his head. “Yeah…umm…she and Mom got really close towards the end of her life.”
How did that end up happening? Astrid was hanging out with my coked-up mother? Hadn’t she called my mom the town druggie in the diner that day?
“Astrid? The same Astrid who called Mom a low-life druggie who should have aborted me?”
Ethan nodded slowly, looking to Grayson for a little help. Grayson held his arms up in mock surrender, as if to say I’m not a part of this, don’t get me involved. She was his girlfriend. He was very much involved in this.
