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Chapter 16 - Jade: Dear Jade
1 ½ Years Ago
The elevator dinged and I got off on my floor. Work had me feeling like a slave, but I knew that one day, these early mornings and late nights would pay off.
I walked down the hallway towards my apartment, but as I neared my door, my steps faltered when I saw my mother standing at my door. She looked frailer than I remembered but then I remembered that loss of weight was a side effect of using drugs.
She moved off the wall when she heard the clicking of my heels on the floor. Her face split into a small smile.
“Hi, sweetheart,” she greeted me once I was in earshot.
We stood staring at each other for a moment, the awkwardness so pungent in the hallway I could almost taste it.
“What are you doing here?” I finally recovered from my initial shock.
“I came to see you,” she said with a nervous laugh. “I was wondering if you would like to have a little chat.”
“Who gave you this address?”
She shifted on her feet uncomfortably. “It doesn’t matter where I got it. What matters is that I am here, and I would love the opportunity to talk. If you would let me.”
“After all these years you want to talk? I think you are too late, Monica,” I spat.
She winced. “Jade, please. I know you are angry, and you have a lot of hurt but I just need ten minutes of your time and then I will disappear.”
I looked around the hallway and saw that nosy Mrs. Garner was peeping from behind her door. This was not a conversation I needed to have with her here. I had built something for myself here, and I didn’t need her coming here to ruin everything for me.
I brushed past her and opened my door for my mother to walk inside. I followed her in but not before flipping off nosy Mrs. Garner. I heard her gasp audibly as I shut the door.
I removed my heels and padded my way to the kitchen to place my bags on the counter.
My mother looked around the apartment as she made her way to the couches in the small living room.
“You’ve done well for yourself.” She settled into her seat. “Ethan tells me you are a lawyer now. How is that going?”
“Monica, what do you want?” I walked from the kitchen area and made my way to one of the armchairs in the living room space. I was growing impatient and having her in my safe space was giving me anxiety.
“I wanted to talk.”
“So talk, Mom!” I didn’t mean to blow up, but I didn’t like anything or anyone that reminded me of Riverroad aside from Ethan. He was the only safe piece of Riverroad for me.
“So, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”
I blinked.
“What exactly are you sorry for?”
“Everything.” She twiddled her fingers. “I was such a terrible mother, and I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most.”
“You’re right. You were a horrible mother. You were never there when I needed you the most but that is what made me stronger and who I am today. So, if I am to ever thank you for anything, Monica, it would be becoming a druggie so I could learn to depend on no one.”
“Jade, you are being mean. I came here in peace. I’m not here to fight with you. I’m just trying to—”
“What? Make amends? Finally become a real mother?”
She looked away. “I just want to get to know my daughter, and I want you to get to know me.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “I already know you very well, Monica. There is nothing more I need to know than that you are a coked-up mother who cared more about white lines than her children.”
