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Chapter 20 - Lily: Mistakes
Before I even opened my eyes, I knew he was gone because I couldn’t feel his warmth. I turned in my bed, looking toward the wall. My eyes fluttered open slowly adjusting to the light.
“You’re awake,” Maddison said from the edge of my bed.
I quickly sat up, covering myself since I was still naked. I noticed that Maddie wasn’t facing me; she was looking out of the window.
I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry about dinner last night.”
Maddison turned until she was sitting cross-legged on my bed. “You don’t have to apologize to me. I will say, though, your family dinners make me thankful that my family doesn’t do things like that anymore.”
I nodded. The room filled with an awkward silence.
“Your mom and brother are assholes. I hope you know that.”
“Yeah.” The heavy weight that had been there after the dinner returned.
“You slept with him again.”
It wasn’t a question; she was simply stating a fact. I thought the shame would hit me like a ton of bricks, but it never did. I didn’t regret asking Ethan to have sex with me. I knew that he was the only one capable of making the pain go away.
Should I have found an alternative way to make the pain go away? Maybe.
“He’s not good for you, Lils. I know I’ve known you for only two months, but I care about you. Ethan Masters will be the death of you if you aren’t careful.”
I nodded in agreement. I knew that, but he was like a drug that I never wanted to quit. I had had a feel of what having him was like, and I wanted that high to last forever.
“Did you happen to take my phone?”
She pulled my phone out of the pocket of her sweats. “It was going off like crazy all night and all morning. I had to switch it off. By the way, your bag is on your dresser.” She stood from the bed. “I’m going to make something for us to eat. We can stay in all day and watchVampire Diaries.”
My heart warmed. Maddison wasn’t an overly affectionate person, so her doing this for me meant a lot.
“I would like that.”
Maddie left the room, closing the door behind her.
I switched on my phone, and sure enough, I had about 23 missed calls: all a mixture between Grayson, my mother, and surprisingly Jade. I had a few messages from Nora and some from Grayson and only one from Jade.
Out of the three of them, Jade was the only one I felt deserved an apology. She had been an innocent in all of this, unlike my family.
I opened the message from Jade.
Jade:I know I may be the last person you want to hear from, but please can we meet just to talk. I only need an hour of your time.
Before I lost my nerve I hit the reply button.
Me:We can meet by the bistro in 20 minutes. Don’t tell my brother.
I hit send and waited. Not even thirty seconds I had a reply.
Jade:See you just now <3
I fell back onto my pillow. Parts of me felt like I hand overreacted, but another part of me felt justified in my actions. The ring had not been my brother’s to give. It had been mine to have. My father had promised it to me, and my mother knew about it.
It was days like this that I missed him the most. If he had still been alive, I knew that things would have been a whole lot different.
I got out of my bed and headed for the shower. I didn’t know what Jade and I were going to talk about, but I knew that I needed to apologize to her.
