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I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I looked to Maddison and instantly felt the shame fall on me. I knew I cared for Lily, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say I loved her.
“Let her go then, Ethan. You are hurting her more by trying to be the good guy and play hero for her. You having sex with her last night only confused her more.”
“I am trying.”
“Well, then try harder. You either commit to her or you learn to let her go. Pick one and stick to it.” She stood from her seat. “I’m sure you can find your way out.”
Maddison brushed past me and headed upstairs.
I looked out the kitchen window and saw my reflection. The man I saw standing there was a man filled with a lot of agony and confusion. I had a lot of pain hiding underneath, and I had thought I had done a great job at holding it all back, but I had let it seep out and now it was seeping out onto Lily.
She already had so much to carry, I couldn’t be another reason why she needed to distract herself. I knew what I needed to do, but the selfish part of me didn’t want to walk away. I was greedy for her. I felt better when I was around her.
She warmed something inside of me that I had thought was long dead. I wanted to keep her, but I knew I couldn’t.
