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She was silent on the other line, but I could hear her gentle breathing through the receiver.
“Comfort,” she finally answered.
“Okay so here is what is going to happen tomorrow. You are going to go out with your friends and you are going to get manicures and pedicures on me. Then I will take Axel off your hands, and we will have a boy's day, just the two of us. Well, Marcus can come too, but I don’t think he is cool enough to hang with us.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yep,” I smacked the p at the end. “You need a break, and I think Axel could use some pure guy time. Just some good old fashion testosterone. You know, manly things, like the wild and swordplay.”
“He’s 2.5,” she chuckled.
“See, he might as well have a 401K.”
I could practically hear her eyes roll. She grew silent after a moment before opening her mouth to speak again but in a much softer tone than before.
“I can’t believe you would do this for me.”
“I would do just about anything for you, Dan.” My voice grew softer toward the end .
“Thanks, Gav.” Her voice was low and soft as well. “You know it’s weird just thinking how far we have come. High school seems like a lifetime ago.”
“It does.”
“Hey, Gav?”
“Yeah.” I watched her window carefully.
“Tell me something true.”
I let out a soft laugh. “I missed this little game of ours.”
It was something we had started when we were kids. We used to say this to each other in the beginning stages of getting to know each other, but then it just kind of stuck. It became our thing and now she was bringing it back.
“Is that your truth?” I could hear the smile in her voice which only added to my joy.
“No,” I said, “My truth is that I never wanted to make it into the NFL.”
“What?” She said in shock. “But that’s all you ever talked about in high school. You had a whole plan mapped out since we were in 6thgrade. Play for the varsity team, go to a D1 school, and then get drafted.”
“I know.” I remembered for the better part of my high school life the NFL was my soul-driving force. That and her, of course. “But my plans changed, and my priorities shifted. The NFL felt like something I should want. And now I finally realized that it was more so other people’s dreams for me rather than my own.”
“So what is your dream.”
“Nope, no can do. I already gave you my truth and now it’s your turn, Dan.”
My heart hammered in my chest as I awaited her answer.
“Sometimes…” She cleared her throat, readying herself for her answer. “Sometimes, I feel like I’m incapable of falling in love.”
“Why?”
“Because my heart has been so scarred I don’t even know if it has any love left to give. It would be unfair to give my broken heart to someone and expect them to only accept broken and scarred pieces of me.”
I would take any part of you that you are willing to give.
That was what I wanted to say but I kept my mouth shut. Speaking in this moment didn’t feel right. She was opening up to me and, even though what she was saying was meant to deter me away, I wanted her to continue.
“I’m sorry,” she rushed out, “I am such a Debby downer, aren’t I?”
