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“Why?”
He runs a hand through his hair, clearly agitated. “Because there are some lines that should not be crossed.”
“What if I wanna cross them? What if I wanna leap over them at full speed?”
He regards me with a serious expression. “Mia, you have a lot to figure out. Your parents just passed away, and-”
I cut him off with a wave of a hand, feeling the irritation bubble within me at his words. “No, don’t use that as an excuse. Don’t do what my parents did and determine what’s best for me without giving me the chance to decide for myself.”
“What about our friends? My brother is dating your best friend, and if things don’t work out, then that might make things awkward for them.”
I scoff, seeing what he's doing. He's scrambling for any excuse to not be with me, which is clear enough of his feelings and desires, even though I had used that same excuse myself. “Ava already knows and she’s cool with it! And last time I checked, we don’t need anyone else’s opinion to do anything. Yeah, if things don’t work out, that’ll complicate things, but what if they do work out?” I pause, seeing the tension roll off of him as I deflate, knowing this is pointless. I sigh. “Look, if you only like me as a friend, that’s fine, but don’t throw useless excuses at me to save my feelings. I am a big girl and I have dealt with worse than a rejection from you.”
He gives a humourless laugh, pushing himself off the counter, his beer forgotten. “Oh, trust me, how I feel about you is anything but friendly.”
I run my fingers through my hair, tired of the games and just needing the truth for once in my life. “Then tell me! For God's sake, talk to me!”
“Tell you?” He raises a brow before stomping his way around the counter separating us with a look of dark determination that almost has me stepping back as he closes in on me. I back into the counter until I have nowhere to go. He finally reaches me, cupping my face in his hands, forcing me to meet his eyes, his controlled demeanour hanging on by a thread. “Tell you what? How every time I see you, I wanna hold you in my arms, or how about each night we sleep together it takes everything in me not to roll you over and kiss you, to make you scream as I devour you. You have no idea how hard it has been,” he says through gritted teeth, his body pushed up against mine, enveloping me in the warmth of his body and the hardness of it.
Finally, seeing the raw truth in his words, my heart is singing, but I need more. After so long of being around him, of being close but still distant, I have had enough of the distance and playing it safe.
I reach up, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt in my hands, feeling the hardness of his pec muscles beneath, and I shiver a bit before growling with my eyes firm on his, “Then do it.”
His eyes remain conflicted, but his body remains pressed against mine, hard. I watch the war waging in his mind, and I almost fist bump when I see his resolve start to waver into nothing before whispering, “Fuck it,” and colliding his mouth into mine.
I gasp as his body pushes into mine further until my back is pressing against the counter, my gasp swallowed up by his mouth moving over mine, lost in the euphoria of his hands moving from my face to bunching into my hair before moving down my body. I run my hands over his chest and down his hard stomach until I reach the cold buckle of his belt, heat and desperation building inside me as I fumble until Riley picks me up and perches me on the counter.
I groan, pulling him back into me, hating the separation of us and the cold that follows, wanting the heat from him as I circle my legs around his waist, pulling him closer to where I want him.
Holding me to him, he continues to kiss me, but the ache I feel growing stronger between my legs is almost unbearable. I dig my heels into his ass and pull him in as close as he can get to the juncture between my thighs, trying to ease the ache.
I have my hands around his waist, digging my nails into the muscles of his back, just as we hear a loud wailing, shattering our little bubble.
We stop, pulling back until we are breathing heavily, feeling hot and tingly as we stare at each other, knowing that lines have been crossed and there is no going back now. That, and that the sound was the oven letting us know that dinner is ready.
And I’ve never been less hungry for food in all my life.
I still hold Riley, not wanting to stop, not wanting to pull away and try to sweep this moment under the rug, but I watch as he blinks, the sex induced haze dissolving in his eyes as he slumps his head and sighs before looking up at me. “I should probably get that.”
His voice is husky as he speaks, but he makes no move to step away, so I nod. “You could, or you could stay.”
I drive that point home by tightening my ankles behind him, drawing him in further, still feeling his hardened cock through his jeans pressed against my sensitive spot. I bite my lip to suppress the moan, but Riley hisses, gritting his teeth, his resolve wavering a little. Just when I think he is going to take me right here, he pushes back against my hold until I let him go.
He steps away with a regretful look on his face as he makes his way around the counter to the oven, and I am left with the cold emptiness left by where Riley was.
Even though all I want to do is go to my room and sulk, I am not a child, so instead I stay put as Riley dishes up dinner, handing me a plate with home cooked chicken, potatoes, and vegetables. The smell of the herbs and seasoning is filling up the space, but not enough to take my mind off what it felt like to have Riley’s mouth on mine, his body so close, though I wanted it closer.
We eat in silence, so many words unsaid hanging between us, until I'm sure one of us is gonna choke on them. The sound of cutlery hits the plates, echoing in the space, but it all just gets to be too much.
Irritation takes root over lust and heat as I look at Riley, who's behaving like he wasn’t affected by what happened like I was. I drop my cutlery with a clang, my hunger gone as I sit back, crossing my legs and folding my arms across my chest, regarding Riley with a raised brow. “So are we seriously going to pretend like none of that ever happened?” He says nothing, but continues to eat, which only pisses me off more. “You know, the kissing and touching? That was nothing to you?”
Nothing. Looking at him, I feel a mix of hurt and anger and a desperate need for space so I can scream and be a bit of a child. I have tried to be a grownup, but if he is going to ignore me like a child, then two can play at that game.
I push the chair back, and with a huff, I turn on my heel to head out of the room, stopping only when I hear another clang of cutlery and the sound of Riley’s voice. “If I let myself go.” I stop with my back to him, listening to his words. “If I let myself take you, that will be it. I’ve never met anyone like you, Mia. I see you and you see me, but if I allow myself to fall into this, I know there will be no going back. If I have you, I’ll never want to stop, and I’ll never have enough. You will be it for me, Mia.” He pauses and I almost turn around, but my feet feel numb and rooted to the ground as I let his words wash over me. “But I’m also scared I’ll hurt you. You know I have a past, and I have demons to work out. I’m worried that I’ll fuck this up if I let it happen.” He sighs. “That is the truth I’ve been trying to hide. That is the reason why I keep pushing you away while pulling you closer. I want you, but I’m terrified of hurting you.”
Without turning around, I whisper, “But you hurt me every time you push me away.”
“I know.” I gasp, hearing his voice so close. I didn’t hear him get up or move, but he must have gotten up and now stands just behind me, the warmth of his body heating up my back and relaxing my muscles.
