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The exact opposite of Jack's seven-foot-one, a muscle-on-top-of-muscle physique with long, wavy hair, smoldering green eyes, and an ass that looked better in jeans than any ass had a right to, Lou may not have been a looker, but he was a keeper nonetheless…
And had been the best addition to their family. Not only was he the most brilliant person Macy ever met, but he kept Roxanne on her toes- and that was no small feat. Heck, no other human had ever risen to the task before Lou, not even their dear oldAbuela, Louisa. And that was saying something.
Wagging her finger in his direction, still trying to catch her breath, Macy warned, “If you don’t behave, I’mma tell your wife. Then take pictures when she kicks your ass.”
Slapping his hand to his chest and hamming it up, as usual, Lou gave a few fake sniffles. "You would tell on me? Really? Truly? You wound me. It's true. Every single word. But still, that you would rat me out wounds me all the way to the center of my little black heart.”
Shaking her head as she reached for the long, thick strap of her battered leather duffle, Macy chuckled, “Yeah, you need to take your little black heart andyour skinny Yankee ass, home.” Pointing to the clock with her free hand, she added with raised eyebrows, “You’ve got fifteen minutes to go twenty miles across a bumpy-ass desert road in that beat-up Jeep you call a vehicle.”
“Hey,” he griped, the gleam still in his eye and the corner of his mouth lifting even as he tried to act affronted. "Lay off, Bessie. She's a good old girl. I've had her…."
"Since you left home and drove all the way from upstate New York to the great state of Texas where - wait for it - you met me. And who am I, you may ask? Well, I’m the best friend a guy could ever have, a wonderful business partner, the smartest chick on the planet…."
“A woman with the ability to fish for a compliment no matter the situation.”
Refusing to stop, Macy pushed on, getting louder and louder to be heard over Lou’s returning laughter. “The only reason you stayed andexcelledat the best college in the whole damned world, Texas A & M.”
"You bet your sweet ass, Little Sis." Then, giving her an enthusiastic thumbs-up, he added a loudly whooped, "Gig 'em!"
“Dude, we’ve been outta school for a really long time. So you gotta lay off the Aggie salute."
“Never!” He declared, jutting his chin towards the ceiling.
Unable to resist a little payback, even though the clock was ticking and she needed to get out to the farthest side of the preserve before the sun went down, Macy shoved the strap of her duffle onto her shoulder. Then, running for the door, she gave her brother-in-law a playful punch in the gut as she raced by. Throwing open the door, she was all the way outside with her thumb on the unlock button of her key fob before she dared to look over her shoulder and yell, "No backsies, Bitch Boy."
"Not fair. Not fair at all," Lou whined, making a show out of shuffling forward and rubbing his stomach. "You've been pulling that no-backsies bullshit…."
“Since long before you even knew the Lindon sisters existed. Get over it. You’re just too slow, Louie Louie,” she sing-songed the tune to her brother-in-law’s least favorite song.
“Don’t you do it, Macy Jane. Don’t you dare sing that blasted, horrible, and terrible song. Don’t even think about it.”
Throwing her duffle onto the passenger seat as she dove into the driver’s side, Macy plastered on her goofiest smile and finger waved with one hand while turning the key in the ignition with the other. Revving the engine of her brand new, shiny silver pickup, the first not-used vehicle she’d ever owned, the Vet let down the window and hollered, “Get your ass home, Louis Eugene McDonald. Before you get us both in trouble.”
“Yeah, well, you probably deserve to be in trouble. Me? Not so much.”
“Uh-huh, whatever.”
“Whatever my ass,” he sassed back, his smile so big the apples of his cheeks were bright red. “You better call me or text, or at the very least send up smoke signals as soon as you lay eyes on that animal,” he ordered.
"Smoke signals are Native American, Doofus. Like you said, our family’s from Mexico.”
"Yeah, well, stop at the Reservation. I'm sure Jack'll show you how to start a fire." Waggling his eyebrows, he added, "In your pants."
“Shut up, Lou.”
“Nope, never.” Pushing his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose, he hollered, “Seriously, don’t forget to call. Your sister will never forgive me if anything happens to you.”
“Aww, lookie there. Using my big sis to hide how much you love me. I always knew ya’ cared.”
"Ha! Me? Care about you? Nope. Not even a little. Fear your sister's size nine's up my ass? Oh, hell, yeah, all day long." Chuckling and winking, along with a double thumbs up, her goofball brother-in-law grinned from ear-to-ear. "Ya' know I've always got your back, Kiddo. All ya' gotta do is shout, and I'll come runnin'. Now, get outta here. Stay safe. Don't get dead. Remember, they're bigger, but you're meaner."
He had a point. Well, at least half a point. Ninety percent of the animals Macy treatedwerebigger than her five-foot-nine-inch curvy frame. And, they could damn sure move way faster. But not a single one of them was mean. Never mean. Just misunderstood and usually provoked. At least by over half the population of the planet.
It was no wonder she liked animals more than people. People just worked too hard to suck. Why couldn’t they be more like the animals they’d evolved from?
"Just like Professor Davidson always said," she mumbled to herself. "The louder they growl, the more scared they are." Backing out of her makeshift parking spot in front of the barn they'd converted into the Lindon-McDonald Veterinary Hospital, her smile grew as she remembered what her favorite teacher and mentor rumbled at the end of every class. "If you can't handle a little snarling, then being a Vet is not your calling. Maybe you oughta check out the drama class or home economics."
“No truer words were ever spoken,” Macy mused, turning the wheel to the right as her back tires slid off the grass onto the gravel.
