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“I like blue and green,” Sam said, not to be outdone.
“Excellent choices.” Andrew pushed himself back to his full height.
“Andrew got in this afternoon,” Tracy said.
“Couldn’t very well miss Vic’s eightieth birthday party now, could I?”
“Staying long?” Harrison asked.
“Just overnight. Unless, of course, I’m needed here.”
I turned away, recognizing his answer for the implicit threat it was.
“Let’s eat,” my father said. “I’m starving. I haven’t had anything to eat all day.”
“Why haven’t you eaten?” I asked.
“Of course you’ve eaten, darling. You had poached eggs on toast for breakfast and a lovely tuna salad for lunch. He’s forgotten,” Elyse said with a laugh.
“It’s not like my father to be forgetful,” I said, looking to him for confirmation.
“I haven’t forgotten anything,” my father said. “I’m starving and I want to eat.”
“Now, Vic…”
“Don’t ‘Now, Vic’ me.”
I smiled.Now, that’s the man I know.
“Then, by all means,” Elyse said, her own smile freezing on her lips, “let’s eat.”
—
I don’t know how I made it through the evening without exploding or breaking down. My world was collapsing, all the familiar signposts disappearing. First, there was my father, a normally strong, proud, and stubborn man. While on the surface he remained as ornery as ever, there was something missing. It was more than just the weight he’d lost. Ronald Miller was right: his eyes were vacant. I was reminded of that old black-and-white movie where people were replaced by aliens, physically alike in every respect, but missing the emotions that made them human, that made them who they were.
My father was no longer who he was.
The man who normally took great pains with his appearance,always smooth-shaven and nattily attired, now appeared slovenly and unkempt. Dried-in stains dotted his wrinkled trousers. He’d lost at least ten pounds, appeared tired, and most alarming of all, seemed confused and forgetful.
Yes, he was eighty, but in today’s world, that was no longer especially old. And his behavior—timid, meek, even subservient, despite his welcome snap at Elyse—was in sharp contrast to his behavior of even a few months back. As pleased as I was to see some of his more unpleasant bluster disappear, I was alarmed as well.
Then there was Elyse, a woman who now occupied my mother’s place at the table as well as in her bed. If I were to peel away the sweet smile and glossy veneer, would I find a woman or a serpent?
And her son, Andrew, a chameleon I once knew as Roger, whom I’d had to sit across the table from all night, watching him cozy up to my sister. I saw him look at her the way he once looked at me, as if charmed by her very existence. And Tracy, uncharacteristically quiet, hanging on his every word, as if utterly smitten.
And lastly, there was Harrison. He’d been keeping things from me for months. When had he been planning to tell me about Prince Edward County? What else was he hiding fromme?
Who were these people? I wondered.
“What’s going on with you?” Tracy asked as we were leaving.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you haven’t been yourself all night.”
I laughed.
It was either that or cry.
