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She steps forward, coming closer and I’m thrown when she sits next to me and takes my hand into hers.
I search her eyes, unsure of what’s going on, but then she squeezes my hand and drags in a deep, measured breath.
“You can go to UCLA. If that is where your heart is and you’re not going there to be closer to your father, you can go. I will pay for whatever you need to get the education you want so all your dreams can come true.”
I gaze at her wide-eyed, not sure if I should be relieved. “Really?”
“Yes. You have my word. But I think the time has come for me to tell you certain truths.”
“Truths?”
“Yes. I think you’ll need to hear everything before you make up your mind about L.A. I know you’re worried about your father and I look like the bitch wife who put him behind bars. I look like the bitch wife who cheated on him and screwed him over when he seemed to be the good husband.”
I’ve never heard her speak like this before.
“Mom… I don’t know what to think.”
“Do you trust me?”
It’s an odd question, but one I’m surprised I don’t have to think about. “Yes.”
“Good, then trust what I have to tell you. Trust that I don’t stand to gain anything from what I’m about to reveal when I’ve already offered you what you want.”
“It sounds serious.” I’m almost afraid to hear it.
“It is. There are things about your father I wanted to keep secret from you, but this is how it blew up in my face.” She releases my hand and brings hers to her cheek.
“Tell me, Mom.”
She dips her head, draws in a breath and focuses on me. “Your father and I didn’t have the marriage we made everyone believe we had. When he wasn’t brutal, he was vindictive, and he was always threatening to take you away from me.”
Her comments from weeks ago come rushing back to my mind and I find it hard to believe she’s talking about the same man I’ve revered all my life.
“Why was he like that? I never saw him behave that way.”
“He would never show you that side of him. As for me, he claimed he loved me. Being brutal was his way of keeping me in line so I’d never think to leave him. My career began because of him. I owe my foot in the door to him and he never allowed me to forget it. I wanted to leave him many years ago and I wish I’d had the courage to. I never knew that staying would cause more disaster.”
“You mean what happened recently?”
“No, but it was only recently that I became aware of what kind of monster your father truly is.” She takes a quick breath of air.
“What disaster are you talking about?” The only disaster I know of that happened before our recent scandal was my abuse.
“I’m talking about what happened to you when you were little.”
“What do you mean?”
“Billie, when I found out what that man did to you while I was away working, I lost it. It was me who killed him.”
My mouth drops and I glare at her as shock slams into me.
“What? You did?” I blink several times.
“Yes. Your father hid the evidence but threatened to destroy me if I ever left him or told anybody what he was doing to me. Years of abuse followed. I wanted to get away from him and take you with me, but it was impossible. He allowed me my fame if I stayed as his wife and we looked like the model family. It was while I was working in Russia that I met Cal, but he approached me because he wanted information on your father. It was the start of the scandal.”
“Oh, my God.”
“There’s more, sweet girl, so much more that will hurt you, but I have to tell you.”
