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“I thought you’d take me to a club to dance.”
He nodded. “I would take anyone else to a club. And we’ll do that too. The thing is, I’m not in a place with you where I trust myself to be cool when there are other men around you, looking at you, seeing you move in one of your sexy as fuck dresses.”
I swallowed hard. “I might be a terrible dancer. You don’t even know.”
“I know. I’ve had you in my bed, mama. I know how that body moves.”
Fortunately for my wet panties, a waiter came by to take our order. When he smiled at me, Amir nearly came out of his chair. I would have laughed except I could tell he was genuinely struggling with his blind jealousy. And since I had felt that way only a week ago, I understood the plight.
As soon as the waiter left with our order, I scooted my chair over so I was right beside Amir, twisted my arm around his, and entwined our fingers. He took my leg and draped it over his, trailing his fingers up the inside of my thigh then back down to my knee.
“When does it get better?” I asked.
“What? When does what get better?”
“With your past girlfriends…when did you get to that place where you could be cool? A week? A month?”
His brow furrowed. “Never.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t the table-flipping type, but, man, I had to suppress the urge to flip the table in front of me. Thinking about Amir being possessive over other women turned me into a furious ball of rage. “Okay, well—”
“Hey.” He took my chin in his free hand, turning my face to his, running his nose along the length of mine. “Never because I haven’t cared enough about another girl to make her mine. This is all new territory to me. I can’t promise I’ll ever be cool.”
“Are you…?” I pressed my lips together, gathering my thoughts. “Are you telling me you’ve never had a girlfriend?”
He stared back at me, unblinking. “That’s what I’m telling you. I never planned on having one, not while I’m in school doing what I do for Reno. Relationships can be messy. They’d take my mind off what I need it to be on.”
“Oh.” My shoulders curled inward.
“Don’t tell me you planned on me.”
I sucked in a breath, pushing down my hurt feelings. “No, I didn’t.”
“Take that frown off your lips. I told you I don’t like when you’re sad. I can’t stand it.” He pressed his thumb against my mouth. “I never planned on a girlfriend because I didn’t know you existed. You’re so fucking easy and unmessy. Like a dream, mama.”
And just like that, my hurt feelings were gone.
“That’s incredibly sweet.” I aimed to kiss his cheek, but he turned, giving me his lips instead. It was quick, but just as sweet as his words. “I hate to contradict you, but I come with a lot of baggage.”
“That’s other people. You aren’t making the drama. I’m talking aboutyou, Zadie. There’s nothing messy or conniving or shady about you. You don’t manipulate. Fuck, I trust you, and the number of people I trust, I can count on one hand. I think you might be a little whack for being into me, but I’d say that’s in the plus column.”
I giggled even though an inkling of guilt wormed its way around my stomach. I wasn’t manipulative, butIhad manipulated my way into Amir’s life and under his protection. I guess that made me shady and conniving too—the exact type of girl he didn’t want.
But things had changed now. We were different. I wouldneverdo anything like that again. I’d acted out of desperation and need, and only because I knew I wouldn’t hurt him. I didn’t have that in me, not when it came to Amir.
“I’m not denying being a little whack, considering I’m sitting here, holding hands with my captor.”
Amir huffed a laugh. “You think Katie Holmes ever saw the dealer again?”
I scrunched my nose. “You mean, afterGo? Probably not. His name was Todd. Todd the drug dealer.” I shuddered. “No, definitely not.”
“So, if my name was Todd, we wouldn’t be sitting here?”
I had to bite my lip to hold back a smile. “Again, definitely not. You’re lucky you have a good name.”
He touched his lips to mine. “Definitely lucky, princess.”
“I’m princess now?”
